"Analysis of cancer rates continues, but until the yuppies who've had cellphones glued to the side of their faces since the 80s start dropping dead, we're not going to start panicking."

Thank you for that!

I wonder why nobody thinks about the materials used in cellphones. Or about the increased stress of someone constantly having a mobile phone nearby.

There I was feeling all safe after this debate was aired and put away a decade ago (it was microwaves then) and now the House of Reps has been woken up to it again they want laws to control our use of mobile phones? Our police can't even prevent the things being employed in white vans for which there are laws already, what hope of checking some sort of new phone-o-graphs in them to make sure we haven't used more than our quotas in each 24-hour period?

Mine is the one with a headset and stereo loudspeaker ...

... but until the yuppies who've had cellphones glued to the side of their faces since the 80s start dropping dead, we're not going to start panicking.

At which point it will too late, so why even bother about it at all?

Mine's the one with the audiobook of Chicken Little on the mobile in the pocket.

sic "but until the yuppies who've had cellphones glued to the side of their faces since the 80s start dropping dead, we're not going to start panicking. ®"

Errr....

I dunno, but an awful lot of those obnoxious yuppies have since had, and did die from cancer and other yuppie life style damaging chemicals...

Unfortunatly not all the yuppies have become extinct.

The only reason for the fall off not being noticed so far, has been the high turnover of those leaving being replaced by those younger more eager ones migrating in from other regions.

Although with the current enviromental climate changes in wall st and the City, it is expected that thier numbers will be dwindling at a rapid rate far in excess of natural die-off.

We should start looking to start a charity for the preservation of yuppies in thier natural habitat....

Oh hang on, isn't Dubya is trying to set up a reserve in the States precisly for them, though im not sure $1Trillion will last long, considering what they have gone through recently.

Even GB's attempts to support the natural widlife of Central Westminster are looking at being doomed at the moment.

As Yuppies cant survive for very long in a Public Sector enviroment, as the cravings for wild parties and binge drinking and womanising at the local strip joint are impossible to maintain on less than £20k a day let alone a year, that are encoutered outside the area of westminster.

The long term future is therefore looking very bleak, when there are no longer any yuppies left, will the governments of the world sit up and finaly take notice, that all these hi-tech gadgets are no really good for us, or will they just carrying on partying till the other populations of non-yuppy have dwindled away beyond the point of recovery.

So, please Adopt a Yuppy Today, Every little bit helps.

Please make you Donation Today and adopt a Yuppy

c/o [the editor] of 'The Register, Soho, London, W1'

for each donation over £100 you will recieve a photo and details of the yuppy you have adopted along with monthly updates on how your Yuppy is doing whilst we attempt to preserve him in his natural habitat and lifestyle.

Created by cell phone companies to have a reason not to give us unlimited calling plans.

I guess it gets kind of boring. Plus, rule-by-decree makes lawmaking seem futile anyway. Many of the congresspersons had already lost interest to the point where they read little of the legislation they voted on: there's a swelling chorus of "I didn't have time to read the Patriot Act" (read: "The dog ate it"). Expect more tales of intern molestation as time weighs ever heavier on their hands.

This should keep them busy for a while. Yes, yes, more studies. I think Con-gress should study this and other topics indefinitely. That would keep them from doing their usual harm to the rest of us. If they run out of ideas, they could send me a billion or two dollars so I can study the effects of sailing the high seas with two dozen nubile lovelies on a copy of the Maltese Falcon, the yacht, not the book.

The one with the satellite phone, thanks.

"Dr. Ronald Herberman was slightly less dramatic, pointing out that the most serious danger presented by cell phones is being hit by a driver talking on one."

Closely followed by being beaten to death by a <friend/colleague/total stranger> for <having a shit ringtone that goes off every few minutes/talking at the top of your voice to ensure everyone knows you're on your mobile>

I love the comparison with tobacco too, because nobody has ever used that excuse to fund their research before, have they? Actually congress should fund my research to prove that wanking makes your knob fall off. After all, nobody knew that tobacco was dangerous until they proved it, so how do you know that wanking isn't at least equally as dangerous?

The day I start rolling my mobile in paper and trying to smoke it is the day I'll start worrying, and not because of the potential cancerous effects of smoking a phone.....

I'm trying to visualise "uncontrolled mobile phone use". I'm picturing some poor talker desperately grabbing at a phone with both hands, while it flails around like the end of a dropped fire hose.