Track the people down that are letting their dogs crap every were. Then flood there house with trash and sewage. If they are renters make them spend a week in an out house

I already have to walk the black Lab most mornings and pick up her "doggy chocolate" (in orange or mint "flavor",) so BBC, that's the last thing *I* need to see on your site.

Still, I do like their initiative--now if we can organize a neighborhood setup like that down *here*...

That Jaqui Smith is reading that and thinking

"What if"

And I'm not referring to the picture of a labrador puppy laying a cable

Another Andrex Moment

Icon: Well poochie seems to be doing just that

Howard Stern had a guest on his radio show that could identify the breed of dog just by looking at and smelling the turds. I can't remember if the guy would taste them just to be sure.

People will do just about anything to get their 2 minutes of fame.

Flame on - like the legendary flaming bag of dog poopies you'll find on your front porch. And nice to see the flame icon back in action.

Dogs are OK, their owners are largely responsible - but cats?

Cat owners let their animals run, walk and crap anywhere they please - they have no regard for the pollution their pets cause and really need to be brought to account. They pay hundreds of pounds for these creatures in the forlorn hope that they will repay the owner's attention with a faux, shallow "love" to plug a hole in their sad, lonely existences. Meanwhile all the normal people have to suffer with cat poop all over the place while these selfish individuals say "well, it's only nature - it's not my fault".

What we need is a national DNA (and maybe DNS, too - once these pests are all issued with IP addresses) of moggies, so that the owners can be billed for the cleanup of the mess they are responsible for. Maybe the scheme can be extended, so that cat owners are required to perform a community service as penance for their charges' discharges.

"Cat owners let their animals run, walk and crap anywhere they please - they have no regard for the pollution their pets cause and really need to be brought to account."

Tell that to the Winnipeg Police Service, Animal Services department. They require outdoor cats to have ear tatoos or RFID tags, along with collar tags and a mandatory spaying or neutering. Abusive cats earn their owners fines, and cats without owners get held until they're adopted out, after the adopter pays the fees for all of the above.

I've always kept indoor cats, but more to protect the critters than to avoid causing messes outside. I "fix" them too, but more for my sanity than for any city regulation.

Cats bury their crap. Dogs don't. Cats go to great trouble to keep themselves clean by licking themselves wherever they can reach. Dogs only ever lick their genitalia, and enjoy rolling in a decaying carcass to 'improve' their odour.

Cats hunt on their own and prey on birds, mice, lizards, etc. Dogs hunt in packs and are quite capable of disembowling several sheep in one night of 'fun'. Cats tend not to viciously attack children. Some dogs do. Dogs are more popular because they show genuine affection for humans. Cats are generally disinterested in humans unless they want something. I suspect your dislike of cats stems from their total indifference to you, while your admiration for dogs betrays a sneaking admiration for their ability to get away with completely outrageous behaviour.

Perhaps they can harvest all that ex-doggy goodness and then convert it into something nourishing?

Just a thought.

Hang on, that's what Chicken McNuggets are made of!

Maybe you should just take your valium and relax a bit.

Cats serve the useful function in our cities of keeping down the rodent population. A couple of years ago, our city council listened to a bunch of cat-hating bigots like yourself, and instituted a pogrom on all stray felinity in the district in which thousands of cats were destroyed. Result: a mouse plague the following summer that did millions of dollars' worth of damage to local food stores and caused a price hike in groceries for several months. After this, the council shut up about the local cats, ignored the bigots, and gradually the feline population returned to normal levels.

So my moggy helps keep the mice and rats out of my house, and those of my neighbours. And with your pathetic stereotyping comment, I sincerely hope that you find your house overrun with mice and your pantry stripped and fouled with mouseshit. It would serve you right. Prat.

well well I punted this DNA idea on the reg not long ago and I claim my £500,000.

I'm trying to train our cat but the furry bastard just isn't paying attention...

Kill all dogs (as (in)humanely as you want/can afford). You can even eat them afterwards for all I care. But the little fuckers won't shit on your pavement again.

David

'Cos she's a dog too.

The previous poster obviously isn't a sys admin, much less a BOFH.

The horses here are great, but being herbivores they hang out in herds, graze and drink water. They also let us ride 'em, after a training period that is pretty much ongoing. Some go to shows (mostly hunter/jumper & dressage, but we have a few western & driving critters too). They need to be told what to do, even micromanaged, pretty much all the time. They live in fields, paddocks, and in the barns at night. They poop & pee when needed, without a by-your-leave. Most have learned that pooping & peeing in the isles of the barns, cross-ties & wash racks is a no-no. Thats about it for horses.

The whippets hang out in their own pack, and with us. They snap the necks of ground squirrels, rabbits, moles, gophers and what have you (as available), eat dog food, drink water. A couple do conformation, most do obedience, some are partial to agility, all chase lures (and ground squirrels). Most understand their "sport" after a little encouragement, and require little re-training or ongoing training. They need to be on-lead when not in a fenced area, as they have no traffic sense and a high prey drive. They live in the house, and sleep most of time. They have a dog door, and poop & pee in the correct corner of their yard. That's about it for whippets.

Cats ... Ah, the cats ... They sometimes allow us to hang out with them. They are loners. They eat anything smaller than them that moves (a few of the larger ones have been caught eyeballing the smaller whippets ...), although we do make certain they have quality chow when hunting isn't as good as it should be. They do what they want, when they want, and we don't worry about 'em (they do get proper vet care). They live all over the ranch, most are feral, all are spayed & neutered (except one old Tom that I haven't managed to trap ... I suspect he's the father of most of our local kittens ...) ... They stay out from under the wheels of the tractors, the water truck, and the yuppies who pay us rent for stall space. A few use the dog doors, and are welcome inside. The whippets all know "cats are sharp" and ignore cats. Most allow us to pet them, occasionally. Most of the horses are afraid of cats ...

Cats won't soil their own nest. Our 240 acres belong to the cats. They share with the folks east, west, and south of us (all of whom understand cats). The cats pee and poop at the outer corners of the ranch, where it won't get in anbody's way ... and in the fancy rose garden/pool area of the asshole who lives just north of us. He hates cats, and they carefully return the favo(u)r ...

The idiot to the north is clueless. And has a serious rodent problem ...

Cats are the ultimate BOFH. We do it their way, and we survive.

F*ck off. Felophobe.

One of the few good reasons for a DNA database I've ever heard of. All dogs and cats should be on it. Although I'm unsure of the expense of checking each poop. But having front and back lawns constantly assailed by the neighbourhood cats, and having got caught twice in 10 days by the local dogs, the cost is likely to be worth it.

I really don't believe many pet owners get it, exactly how awful it is for the rest of us to put up with the crap that their pet never inflicts on them.

On my ship those scurrrrvy dog owners are tied to the mizzen and flogged within an inch of their miserable lives.

To dispute an earlier claim, cats do not always bury their crap. If you don't believe me come over to my place and I'll rub your nose into the stuff I'm always finding on my lawns.

...who is it that digs it up and leaves it on my lawn?

Back to the story: Won't they just discover that 90% of their poop is from strays or not from dogs?

Israel - correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't they creationist nutters over there?

Is so, how can DNA testing be valid in court? It's based on our understanding of evolution, and so therefore is 'just' a theory. Ergo if your state has any doubt whatsoever about the validity of the theory of evolution, then DNA testing should not be admissible as evidence.

Black Plague of London 1665

"Those who forget history are doomed to repeat It"

'nuff said.

Err, cats do not generally bury their crap. Otherwise I would not have to check my lawn every day so that my 2 year old son can play out there. Plus those that do only put a thin layer of mud over the top. Children playing in a garden like to dig, surprise surprise.

Let us not forget the fact that while poo is not nice what you find in it can be far worse: Toxoplasma gondii

Thank you for being ignorant of my son and personal property! Maybe I should bury my crap in your garden and see how you like it.

I welcome the day when street poo is DNA tested, I walk 20min to work every day and have to dodge on average 3 separate craps during my journey.

So if you DON'T take your dog in for mandatory DNA screening, your pooch can lay the axminster cables where ever and when ever it pleases!

Result!

Wait, this is Israel - I am sure council workers carry M16s as part of their standard kit, so why can't they just shoot the mongrels (dogs AND owners) on sight? Isn't that the usual answer in that part of the world?

Is it just me or are IT people in general cat-people, and redneck trailer-trash dog-people?

Yay for the flame (and the pilsner!)

Why haven't we done it in the UK? Bring back the compulsory dog licence and include DNA sampling as part of it - easy enough to check if the dog's licenced then. If and when Rover's poop turns up somewhere it shouldn't (inevitable 'prima faeces' joke...) it's easy enough to check the owner.

Don't see why it can't be cats too, to be honest.

According to English law, a lawyer told me once. I don't know the details, but a cat owner has less responsibility than a dog owner for what the animal does. The law recognises that cats are semi-wild and not dangerous.

I, too, get annoyed by cat poo on my lawns, but I suspect that I would have no legal basis for a complaint even if I knew who owned the cat.

I knew it was going to happen; I was just considering how long it would take before the cats vs dogs question would rear it's head......*sigh* just an excuse to take cheap shots eh?

What about people who own BOTH cats and dogs? Does this make them bipolar of schizophrenic?

I have a dog and am not even vaguely needy thank you

Forgive me if I'm being thick here, but the basic difference in cat and dog toilet behavior from my point of view is not whether or not cats bury it. It's the fact that I'm actually on the other end of a lead from my dog when he does it.

If you think I'm climbing up trees and leaping over fences in order to facilitate neighbourliness and hygene, then I think you're assuming considerably more fellow-feeling than I actually possess. Not to mention the issue of trespass...

we are a touchy lot aren't we?

When you all calm down and re-read what I wrote, you'll see that my comments were aimed at cat OWNERS. They are the ones who are responsible (or at least should be) for all the mess that their animals produce. They realise that their cats range far and wide yet they have no consideration for the consequences. They put food into the cats - they must be made responsible for what comes out.

In the UK probably about the same size as the people one.

Could be a good prototyping system to find out the holes n'all.

Cat and dog identity theft? Maybe not. But good for nailing canine and feline felons.

Cats -non-native vermin and should be treated as such.

Cat owners - see the comments above, but generally, worse than terrorists in their beliefs. No reasoning with them. Yes they dont crap on your lawn, but they crap on mine, at least 3 cats every day. Different ones mind, now I know what their favourite drink is.

Did you all know that cats and anything they do are above the human rights act. Its true. I have a right to a safe and clean existence, to an undisturbed life, and to protection from unruly neighbours. Unless there are cats involved. Then its just tough.

Cnuts they are, and all of their fundamentalist owners.

P.S. Dogs no better, but at least there are laws governing them.

Er, where's the DNA from? Wouldn't it be just a scrambled mess of DNA from all the animal parts that fido had noshed on the night before and all the bacteria as well? Maybe there'd be a bit of doggy DNA from the mucus lining the bowels but otherwise I don't see how it works. How'd you separate it out?

(I have a minging hangover today and I really didn't enjoy thinking, or writing, about this subject but I can't stop myself.)

Cats do not have owners, they have staff, as any fule kno.

Oh boo hoo, a cat might leave poo in my garden! Diddums move to suburbia to provide a more healthy environment for ones wailing sticky progeny only to find out after years of living in a city that there are, shock horror!, animals other than people and pigeons ?

Have you even stopped for a moment to consider that the "cat shit" on your lawn isn't, in fact cat shit, but e.g. owl pellets (much more likely, since cats like their privacy during their ablutions) ? Do you even know what owl pellets are ? No ? Didn't think so. Do you have any idea how many species of animal might be prowling your garden overnight ? I've seen bastard foxes roaming the streets of Ealing of a night time for shits sake, and that's not even proper suburbia. And the leafier you get, the more animals you are close to, duh!

And as for "children in gardens like to dig", simple, tell them not to. I certainly don't seem to recall being allowed to dig up arbitrary parts of my mothers garden. You could try explaining to them that they share the world with other species, some of which don't have plumbing.

Or you could just go back to reading the Daily Mail and screaming "WON'T SOMEBODY PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE CHILDREN!" every time your cotton wool lined world shows the faintest whiff of reality encroachment, and the rest of us can safely continue to ignore your whining.

Contrary to your opinion, the world does not, ought not, and is unlikely ever to, revolve around your sticky brats.

it's like Lt Commander Data once said. they won't be controlled so you can't hold the owner responsible for their behaviour.

the perfect solution to cat crap on your lawn? get a cat.

If you don't wanna clean out the litter, or worry about cat-poop outside, then checkout:

http://www.toilettrainedcat.com/orders.php.

Now, if I could get an 800lb gorilla to do that without breaking the bowl, I might consider one as a pet, to acompany me to the corner shop to get my fags and Special Brew on a Saturday night. (Well, Bubba uses a Stainless steel reinforced one, so I guess I need to buy one of them from State Corrections first....)

I have two. I find cat sized poo on my lawn.

I have learned something from this. Cats go in flowerbeds and bury their poo, foxes don't.

Bill / Windows / Steaming turd.

Cat sized poo on your lawn? Sounds like you have a rhinocerous problem, not a cat problem.

Winter can last (i.e., continuous snow coverage) from late November to early April. So, when the (off-)white fluffy stuff eventually melts - Hey Presto! Tons of "oven-ready pre-frozen dogshi*t" everywhere. Thank fuc*k we don't have anything like the number of CCTV cams UK does. Nor Anti-terrorist powers by the council employees.

Mind you, gives a couple of weeks' work for the Great Unwashed. After all, what difference....(and I'm one of them)

560 dead palestinians in the last 12 months..(as at jun2008):

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/a55d6f50-399d-11dd-90d7-0000779fd2ac.html

yeah, doog poo, let's worry about that..

I have never really understood this stance of, "I can think of a bigger problem, so we must not consider anything else until that's solved first".

So how much money will they be spending on the expensive lab equipment, DNA sequencers, scientists to analyze the "samples", IT monkeys to create and maintain the database and server, write/install and maintain the interface software so the boffins can use it, and then a couple guys to tidy-up the place at night?

Why not just hire some minimum wage-types to go around cleaning up the sidewalk each day?

I live in the country always have done. I can tell the difference between fox, deer, owl etc crap. But the cat crap is the only bad stuff. My kids dig with me in our vegetable plot and find it, not nice, they stand in it on the lawn (I'm sure they do it on purpose).

The bast*** cat over the road has destroyed around 50 quids worth of plants this year as well as the hard labour of lovingly sown veg seeds etc.

Don't get me wrong I like cats, out here they do some good to keep the rats down, but the owners should be responsible for them. Including paying for the damage they do and clearing up their mess. DNA database for cats yeah.

Can't you whiney brits just buy a BB gun or airsoft gun to deal with other animals trashing your yard?

My dad taught me when I was about 7 years old how to use a pellet gun to deal with someone else's loud and obnoxious dog in the middle of the night.

know what owl pellets are ??Um its clear you dont. Living in a semi rural area we have lots of owls. No way in hell you can mistake an owl pellet for cat crap

Cat poop is one of the most toxic biological waste materials there is. They tell pregnant women not to go any were near a litter box.

Think about all those other animals that shit everywhere! I mean, you can't even sit under a tree without sitting in crap from squirrels, birds, foxes, and god knows what else. Lets get a database for them too! Then we can test everything and if it shits, we'll give them a fine! Ha. That'll show them.

The only reason people pick on certain animals is because they can, by proxy, pick on the animals owners. If you think I'm wrong; try giving a ticket to a squirrel.

@Jesse - The English aren't allowed to have things like BB guns or Airsoft guns. The entire island is terrified of anything remotely resembling something that you could possibly do harm with. These are the same people that are afraid of knives you know - don't expect any type of ranged device to be allowed.

Heres an answer

Go to pet store

Buy Rat

Feed Rat lots of Rat Poison

Feed Rat to Cat

Feed Cat to Dog.

Mwahahahhahahahah