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Literacy leads to happiness and luuurv

Single man? You probably can't read this then, you sad loser

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A study by the National Literacy Trust claims to demonstrate that literate people are less likely to be still living with their parents, glumly smoking heavily as they contemplate their inability to attract a long-term partner, than those who struggle with reading.

The Telegraph explains that literate chaps in particular benefit, "with 43 per cent of those with poor literacy - equal to a seven-year-old - living alone, compared to 30 per cent who have enough reading skills to attain a C or above in a GCSE".

The study further reveals that 22 per cent of men lacking literacy skills "still live with their parents". That's just nine per cent for those who can handle a good book.

There's more: By the age of 34, "68 per cent of men and 70 per cent of women with good literacy skills are co-habiting or married, compared to 52 per cent of men and 60 per cent of women who find it difficult".

And finally, a mere 50 per cent of the literacy-challenged say they're “satisfied with life”, compared with 78 per cent for the literate, while the latter also "tend to be better paid and smoke less".

Well, we'll leave it to you lot to decide which of these findings appear to have come from the department of the bleedin' obvious, but before you apply your sharp and literate minds to that question, be warned that excessive thinking can make you fat.

By coincidence, today's Telegraph is also reporting that "onerous mental tasks caused subjects to overeat", possibly due to "fluctuations in glucose and insulin levels". You can read the full-fat exposé here, if you reckon your waistline can handle it. ®

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