Feeds

America's CTO: We have a winner

The people's choice vs Larry

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Poll Results In one of the tightest contests ever seen in a Reg poll, columnist and software developer Ted Dziuba has emerged as the people's choice to be Barack Obama's "Chief Technology Officer". Dziuba beat off a stiff challenge from Hans Reiser, the fallen Linux guru who was sentenced to 15 years for murder in an Oakland, Ca. court last week.

After Stanford professor and freetard pin-up Lawrence Lessig had campaigned so very publicly for the job, we felt the field of candidates should be opened up, and almost 200 votes were received.

It was clear from the outset that this would be a close contest - so we enlisted the help of former US President Jimmy Carter to oversee the process, and ensure there would be no foul play.

Dziuba raced into an early lead, but it was clear that Reiser was mounting a strong challenge. Jeff Merkey was a popular choice, but could never gather enough momentum to catch the two frontrunners.

By mid-week it looked as if we might have a sensational result on our hands, as Reiser edged into the narrowest of leads. At this point, the winner of the 2000 Nobel Prize for Peace fell asleep, a syringe of ketamine rolling suspiciously away from the recliner in which we'd placed him.

Voting was tight - but in the end, Dziuba beat off Reiser

After a flurry of counts and recounts, Dziuba emerged as the winner by just four votes.

So it's more disappointment for Reiser, but it's "FAIL" no more for the profane former Uncov blogger. Of course, for Dziuba to take up the post of America's CTO, Obama needs to be elected, and then listen to the will of the people.

Wooden spoon

There's consolation for The Professor, however. A grand total of five write-in votes were received, with former Hewlett-Packard CEO Carly Fiorina picking up two. Lessig also received two, as did another forward-thinking cult figure, amanfromMars.

But the Professor may be dismayed to learn that 50 per cent of his votes were sarcastic. "Lets face it - he knows nothing - perfect for a Govt IT job," wrote Colin, one of the write-in Lessig supporters.

We ascribed the one vote for "Eban Moglen" to Eben Moglen, Columbia law professor and legal overlord of the GNU General Public License (GPL).

Now turn over to see why America* voted as it did...

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Getting ahead of the compliance curve
Learn about new services that make it easy to discover and manage certificates across the enterprise and how to get ahead of the compliance curve.