Women turn on to a throbbing Maserati
'Primeval physiological response' to luxury motors
It's official: If you want to turn a woman on, ditch the Volkswagen Polo and get yourself a Maserati, which is 100 per cent guaranteed to get those vital testosterone secretions flowing.
That's according to research by psychologist David Moxon, who subjected 40 guinea pigs to recordings of the aforementioned cars' throbbing powerplants, plus those of a Ferrari and a Lamborghini. Having put pedal to the metal, he then collected saliva samples from the participants to measure testosterone levels, indicating the degree of arousal.
All the women tested showed "a significant increase in testosterone secretion after listening to the Maserati, compared to only half for men", as the Telegraph puts it. The chaps, meanwhile, found the Lamborghini rather more exciting, with 60 per cent pumping out more testosterone.
The Volkswagen, sadly, actually provoked a decrease in arousal across the board.
Moxon, who carried out the research for insurance outfit Hiscox (yes, we know), said: "We saw significant peaks, particularly in women. The roar of a luxury car engine does cause a primeval physiological response." ®
Someone at El Reg, who shall remain nameless, recently acquired a Maserati, and we now have an explanation for the sharp and sudden increase in sexual promiscuity in his previously sleepy and conservative corner of Blighty.
...who pays? you pays!
@AC "I really don't know where they get the funding for this sort of crap"
you know that insurance bill you cough up like a rotten furball every month? that's what pays for this kind of research.
mines the one with the Subaru keys in the pocket, it's not a Maserati, but at least it's not a VW!
True, only too true
A sad but true tale indeed. Here in north east USA my sister took her driving lessons --Lo! These many decades ago! -- in a 500+ bhp beast of a Chevrolet, back when such was considered normal. The thing had a tone that still gets my blood moving.
The elephant and the mouse were walking through the jungle.
Suddenly, the mouse fell down a deep hole and was stuck.
"Help me! Help me!" Cried the mouse.
The elephant lowered his enormous cock into the hole so the mouse was able to climb up to safety and the two continued on their way.
Suddenly the elephant fell into a deep hole and was stuck.
"Help me! Help me!" Cried the elephant.
The mouse ran very fast out of the jungle and jumped into his shiny new Maserati. He drove really fast back to the hole where the elephant was trapped, tied his tow rope to the back of the shiny new Maserati and lowered the rope to the elephant. The mouse then jumped back into his shiny new Maserati and towed the elephant out of the hole.
The moral of the story is: you don't need an enormous cock if you have a shiny new Maserati.
And that, son, is why some blokes buy Maseratis...
Mine's the motorcycle jacket, thanks.