any pics?

"Doctors ... yesterday said the patient would be discharged."

Aaaah, so the patient didn't discharge on the docs. Thank heaven for small mercies.

fnarr, fnarr.

It sounds like he'll be lucky not to have *lost* length...

And I'm casting my vote for Euphemism of the Century to "bout of tumescence".

"bout of tumescence", quite brilliant!! :-)

No, sorry I will resist...........

All he had to do was buy some of those pills you can get on the Internet.

You asked for pics.......

We all know that there's no substitute for a good screw.

Wouldn't you prefer to look at some pictures of kittens instead? I most certainly would.

Still each to his own, there's no accounting for taste, or lack thereof.

If his intended had been a reasonable gal such as myself, she'd have bought him a strap-on.

or it didn't happen

...where did he put the nut?

This is perhaps the silliest thing i've heard all week. But saying that, "Peer Pressure + Credit Crunch = Cash-saving DIY Alternatives". Not that DIY Alternatives work properly, as shown in this case...

...so he got his nut off?

Mine's the one with the Swedish made Penis Enlarger pump in the pocket.

If I was the fiancee, I'd take this as an omen, and leave him in the workshop. He's obviously happier screwing himself...

Indeed

I rather prefer nut case

mine's the one with the spanner in the pocket

No way a story like this broke without somebody knowing what the guy's name is. And if I'd done it, I know my name would be in the article.

They have not said what size of nut was used, nor what thread. Presumably he was using some size of metric coarse thread, but we need to know!

The one with the 2" Whitworth spanner please...

This is where it's helpful to have a mental picture of Margaret Thatcher naked on a cold day. No need to call for help at that point.

Mines the one with the Fembots on the back.

Just what I needed to wake me up in the morning :P

I cringed when I read article

/mines the one with the nuts in it

Streuth Jim, Your post has given me a headache.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/west_midlands/3485625.stm

Although not specific about the nut it was obviously self-locking.

Righty Tighty, Lefty Loosey. Even a welder would know this. Anyone check his union card?

But if that actually is true then the laws of natural selection have come through for humanity just it time! Heaven knows that the gene pool is seriously polluted enough as it is, but could you imagine MORE little morons like this, running around participating in the creation of more little morons?

Mine's the one that has "Stupid people should NOT breed" on the back

I guess the next step will be to tighten the union fitting.

You complete and utter bastard.

At least, he didn't try to weld on an extension...

There once was a man named Joseph Locke

Born into this world with a cork-screw cock.

All his life he vowed to hunt

For a girl with a cork-screw c*nt.

But when he found her he dropped down dead,

For the girl he found had a left-hand thread.

Can't believe nobody's used the IT angle icon yet!

...he's a nutter?

I hope she heeds it.

Go! Go now! As fast and far as you can!

May contain nuts

I'll get me coat

>This is where it's helpful to have a mental picture of Margaret Thatcher

That is enough. That would cure a near fatal viagra overdose.

>naked

Please stop, I quite like sex and I'd like to be able to do it again sometime soon

>on a cold day.

You "£$"£%

Mine's the one with the Accidental Darwin Award in the pocket (no way I'm breeding after reading that posting!)

It might not be all right for a long time.

Aaalriight.

Giggity-giggity.

Nuff said on that I think.

I can see you are going to become the new resident t*@tatron...

I thought we'd already let get to that point.....

as for the story... nah, the jokes are too obvious there, so i'll just get my coat now....

Could be worse there are some who insert ball bearings under the skin for that ribbed for extra pleasure feeling.

...did he use gas or arc to "join his union membership"

(Snigger)

Would'nt,be from experience, would it?

OK. 'Nuff.

I heard they used the tweezers of life instead.

Mental pictures not required - Thatcher's very existence would make one question the wisdom of bringing children into the World.

OUCH

In my day, the "cure to that Bout of Tumescence" is a sharp whack with a long hard stick. The shock will bring tears to his eyes and an immediate cessation of tumescence !! Works with dogs and other animals too !!

... now everyone's going to want one.

Paris, because she wouldn't know any better either.

mix up the Loctite with the WD-40.

Give this writer a raise!

>Somebody, anybody...

>By pete

>Give this writer a raise!

"bout of tumescence" surely...

The guy is clearly a "Tube"

This seems like a Lester story. Granted, I had to look up "tumescence" but I also had to double-check the by-line.