Feeds

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard: Further poster outrage

'Twas on the good ship Venus...

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

NSFW Our shock exposé earlier this week of the Portsmouth Historic Dockyard poster campaign outrage promoted a provocative call to Vulture Central from one "Barnacle Bill", who claimed to have been party to the original promotion brainstorm which eventually led to the rather unfortunately accurate depiction of seafaring life back in the days of the tall ships:

Poster for Portsmouth Historic Dockyard

Our informant suggested that the offending poster was in fact one of a series shot, illustrating key moments in Britain's glorious maritime history - few of which were considered suitable for public consumption.

And no wonder, because based on Mr Bill's description, we have been able to reconstruct one of the rejected billboard proposals (click pic for a bigger version):

Our artist's impression of the rejected Portsmouth Historic Dockyard poster

In case you're wondering, the scene shows one of the less belligerent episodes in the Senior Service's past - the 1803 encounter between HMS The Good Ship Venus and privateer the Martina Navratilova. The former had been dispatched to make all sail to the island of Lesbos and reestablish British dominion of the surrounding seas, where the latter was disrupting vital trade routes by boarding merchantmen and making off with their cargoes of Emma Hamilton cosmetics and racey portraits of comely Nell Gwynne destined for export to the colonial Sapphic market.

In the event, and as history records, things didn't quite turn out the way the Admiralty expected. Our reconstruction shows a Venus boarding party which has stumbled across a member of the Navratilova's crew administering a shipmate what was known as a "lick o' the cat". Suitably inspired by the display, the captain of the Venus offers some light sword-based encouragement to the romping buckaneers, while the first mate has used the classic "bend over that barrel and you'll see the golden rivet" ruse on a midshipman who is now enduring an assault from astern as a result of his gullibility.

Regarding the dog - don't ask. ®

Bootnote

Fair play to Portsmouth Historic Dockyard, which posted a comment to our original piece, viz:

Portsmouth Historic Dockyard is delighted, if a little surprised, at all the interest our latest billboard campaign has received. The image used in this billboard was produced 2 years ago in all innocence, but with the hindsight provided by its recent online coverage I can now see that we might have chosen the camera angle a little better!

Whilst I can't see us using the same image on future billboards, it's great to see an attraction as important to Britain's heritage as Portsmouth Historic Dockyard reaching a wider audience. We hope that some of the readers of The Register are encouraged to learn more about us from our website at www.historicdockyard.co.uk or even come and visit us for themselves.

Aye, I've been there meself, me hearties, and I can thoroughly recommend it.

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
10 threats to successful enterprise endpoint backup
10 threats to a successful backup including issues with BYOD, slow backups and ineffective security.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.