Feeds

Who should be America's CTO?

Vote now and tell us

  • alert
  • submit to reddit

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Ted Dziuba

Ted Dziuba

Think of Ted as the antidote to the Lessig candidacy. Like Larry, he's been funded by Google - but there the similarity ends. While a Lessig CTOship would mean lots of blogs and wikis, and really expensive consultants to make sure Federal drones use them, a Tech Czar Dziuba would surely take an axe to sloppy Javascript and grossly baroque MySQL implementations. At Uncov and now as a Reg columnist, he's the scourge of Web 2.0 FAIL. Instead, Ted espouses old-fashioned engineering values like uptime, resilience, data integrity and choosing the right tool for the job. But don't hold that against him. Would he run? It's Friday afternoon, and we couldn't be bothered to ask. But we will, soon.


Jeff Merkey

"I love British girls!" is how Jeff Merkey greeted us on our one and only interview with him. "They've got the biggest tits in the world!" We've been impressed ever since. A former Novell CTO, Merkey's feuds are the stuff of legend: targets include Wikipedia, Groklaw, Slashdot and Bruce Perens (because Linux is used by terrorists). After Merkey's son fell ill from E.Coli poisoning after eating spinach on a Delta Airlines flight, Merkey sued both the airline, and its food supplier Natural Selection Foods (the latter for emotional distress). Merkey argued that use of the brand Natural Selection "...[implied] that the Plaintiff's 23 month old son...will be subject to Charles Darwin's theories of Natural Selection by virtue of not possessing an immune system capable of combating E.Coli and its deadly HES-inducing shiga toxins". A Merkey CTOship would not be dull.

Build a business case: developing custom apps

Next page: Siegfried and Roy

More from The Register

next story
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
7 Elements of Radically Simple OS Migration
Avoid the typical headaches of OS migration during your next project by learning about 7 elements of radically simple OS migration.
BYOD's dark side: Data protection
An endpoint data protection solution that adds value to the user and the organization so it can protect itself from data loss as well as leverage corporate data.
Consolidation: The Foundation for IT Business Transformation
In this whitepaper learn how effective consolidation of IT and business resources can enable multiple, meaningful business benefits.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?