Breakup with Sadville lion ends in kidnap plot, duct-taped dog
Happiness is a warm laser sighted taser
In Sadville, they were close. But in our world, the relationship quickly took a turn for the worse. He dumped her. She walked into his office with a gun and tried to kidnap him. And when that failed, she broke into his apartment with handcuffs, some duct tape, a taser, a BB gun, and a dog named Gogi, shining some sort of "laser beam" onto his chest before he fled the scene and called the cops.
According to a Philadelphia-area TV station, local police in nearby Delaware have apprehended 33-year-old North Carolinian Kimberly Jernigan after she turned on her ex-virtual lover, a 52-year-old man who masqueraded as a lion while dodging flying penises inside Sadville.
They met on Sadville's virtual streets, but after the pair laid eyes on each other in our world, the virtual lion/52-year-old man ended the relationship, "sending Jernigan into a downward spiral."
Earlier this month, the North Carolinian allegedly drove to her ex-virtual lover's Pennsylvania workplace and attempted to kidnap him at gunpoint. But he got away. Then, two weeks later, she returned to Pennsylvania, posing as a postal worker in an effort to uncover the manimal's home address.
Four days later, investigators say, she found his apartment and broke in - alongside her dog. When her ex-virtual lover got home last Thursday, he "saw someone pointing an object at his chest that was projecting a laser beam."
We're guessing Jernigan sprung for something along the lines of the Air TASER® Weapon Laser Sight Weapon System:
Air TASER® Weapon Laser Sight Weapon System (with some smoke and a faux cop)
When the police arrived, they found not only a taser, but a pair of handcuffs, a roll of duct tape, and a BB gun. And her dog was in the bathroom, duct tape around his jaw. Apparently, Gogi made a bit too much noise during the break-in.
About an hour later, Jernigan's vehicle was spotted at a highway rest stop, and she was taken into custody after a brief struggle. In our world, she faces charges of attempted kidnapping, burglary and aggravated menacing. In Sadville, she doesn't. ®
look @ teh KITTEH!!!!111111
Id they lock her up here...
...does her avatar have to sit in a virtual cell in SadVille? She could log on each day to stare at the featureless virtual walls.
Another McKinney moment....
Please tell me its the same lady who fired up my youth with the Mormon kidnap story and was last heard cloning dogs in Korea .... that pic of her on the bed rivaled my Dennis Harry poster and that Athena bird on the tennis court ...
Sorry, the coat wins over Paris.....