Feeds

Craigslist supervillain seeks henchmen

'Goons. Hired goons.'

Security for virtualized datacentres

Much as we love our belittling, thankless toil rewarding career at the Reg, we have from time to time mused that it would be good to find a vocation in which we could fully express our suppressed violent side. And so it is that today we find ourselves tempted by this Craigslist ad, apparently placed by authentic supervillain Jacque (The Zapper) Zerapi, who is in need of tidy sorts to form a 30-strong gang of henchmen.

The toughs are required for a "moderately-sized supervillain organisation with large expansion potential", and "must be willing to learn new skills, including but not limited to operation of specialised 'lightning guns'". Qualities that will help you along the recruitment process but are not pre-requisite include "flexible moral code" and "being a corrupt government official". An excellent career-change for many who feel they've achieved all they can in their present and somewhat restrictive roles, then, although the starting salary of £20,000 may deter even the casually avaricious.

We are naturally pleased to note that Mr Zerapi is happy to accept "femmes fatales" as well as the usual male thugs. He does go on to say that a "right-hand-man" position is frequently available to the right candidate, but we assume this is a momentary lapse in gender neutrality, perhaps occurring when the fantastical crimelord was distracted by the screaming coming from his luxury shark tank.

If you have ever felt you'd be fulfilled by strapping a secret agent to a table of doom whilst grinning maniacally, do apply and let us know how you get on. Obviously we shan't be throwing our own hench-hat into the ring, because the boss is watching we are completely content in our present position. ®

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
SLOSH! Cops dethrone suspect - by tipping over portaloo with him inside
Talk about raising a stink and soiling your career
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Storage capacity and performance optimization at Mizuno USA
Mizuno USA turn to Tegile storage technology to solve both their SAN and backup issues.
The next step in data security
With recent increased privacy concerns and computers becoming more powerful, the chance of hackers being able to crack smaller-sized RSA keys increases.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.