Feeds

Paris Hilton - the compromised candidate

'See you at the debates, bitches'

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

Paris Hilton got astride the hustings in the US presidential election today, and redrew the boundaries on the previous front runners’ energy policies.

Hilton was dragged into the election when Republican contender John McCain, in a campaign ad, referred to his Democratic rival Barack Obama as lightweight celebrity like Paris Hilton.

An apparently miffed Hilton has decided this means she must now be running for president and has thrown her weight into the campaign with her own campaign ad, posted on www.funnyordie.com, making the campaign a true threeway horse race.

The ad exhibits all the gravitas you’d expect from a US presidential ad, kicking off with a voice declaring McCain to be “the oldest celebrity in the world, like super old” while flashing up pics of Yoda and the Golden Girls.

Hilton, recumbent on a sun lounger in a fetching leopard skin swim suit and shiny shoes, then points out that she’s a celebrity too, “only not from the olden days” and “just hot”.

She then presents a coherent energy policy for America, backing McCain’s drive for offshore drilling, but with strict limits and enhanced environmental oversight. This, she says, will tide the US over while tax incentives help drive R&D on new cleaner energies and hybrid cars, as advocated by Obama.

Unfortunately, her green energy credentials are somewhat undermined by the fact that Paris appears to be slathered in oil herself. But then politics is a slippery world indeed. ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Advanced data protection for your virtualized environments
Find a natural fit for optimizing protection for the often resource-constrained data protection process found in virtual environments.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.