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Paris Hilton - the compromised candidate

'See you at the debates, bitches'

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Paris Hilton got astride the hustings in the US presidential election today, and redrew the boundaries on the previous front runners’ energy policies.

Hilton was dragged into the election when Republican contender John McCain, in a campaign ad, referred to his Democratic rival Barack Obama as lightweight celebrity like Paris Hilton.

An apparently miffed Hilton has decided this means she must now be running for president and has thrown her weight into the campaign with her own campaign ad, posted on www.funnyordie.com, making the campaign a true threeway horse race.

The ad exhibits all the gravitas you’d expect from a US presidential ad, kicking off with a voice declaring McCain to be “the oldest celebrity in the world, like super old” while flashing up pics of Yoda and the Golden Girls.

Hilton, recumbent on a sun lounger in a fetching leopard skin swim suit and shiny shoes, then points out that she’s a celebrity too, “only not from the olden days” and “just hot”.

She then presents a coherent energy policy for America, backing McCain’s drive for offshore drilling, but with strict limits and enhanced environmental oversight. This, she says, will tide the US over while tax incentives help drive R&D on new cleaner energies and hybrid cars, as advocated by Obama.

Unfortunately, her green energy credentials are somewhat undermined by the fact that Paris appears to be slathered in oil herself. But then politics is a slippery world indeed. ®

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