It's tempting to submit an "I am poor" app, that displays a lump of quartz, and costs $1

Clearly this is an expression of post-modernist irony, the iPhone owner is able to purchase a work of art and display it on his or her phone... the next version will allow you to choose your own images and it will automatically shuffle between them... no, hang on, that's called the Photos application.

But seriously, this merely demonstrates a flaw in the whole app store model - there is no 'demo mode' available unless the developer chooses to ship both a crippled and non-crippled version of an application. Perhaps Apple could have a time-locked demo mode for apps that are offered with a demo, the user gets a developer-defined period of time to try the app and must then purchase it to get further access.

I'm not buying apps, not because I don't want any, but because I have no idea how good they are.

Any suggestions as to how the bling app would have a 'demo' mode? A flawed ruby perhaps?

Paris, because even she can recognise a rip-off when she sees one

I reckon the only sales will be journalists buying it to write about it. Its real name should be "Im a hack for an online journal and got advertisers to pony up for this comedy app."

I wish the programmer the best of luck in getting a sale.

It's no different from someone buying "R1CH W4NK3R" for their car. I've never understood that either.

Although complaining that iTunes is charging more to UK buyers is a little unfair in this case, $999 in £, +17.5% VAT = £600. Remember that sales tax is not listed on items in the US and varies between state. So British idiots get to pay basically the same, but the government gets to take a cut of their stupidity.

That's an idea, how about tying VAT rates to stupidity? I suggest 6000% for buyers of irritating ringtones.

Paul

.. is in the works and should be available for free soon.

...the first person to write a near identical hacked app with a blue pill^h^h^h^h gem in an app called "I'm clever" for those who chose to go into the techie field rather than sales.

The floor length leather one filled with guns and whatnot.

Actually it sounds like a great way to make some quick Dosh. Perhaps we should submit alternative photo schemes with 'glittering' effects to make it look like a Damien Hirst Diamond Skull.... or encode a "hello Michael" voice synthesiser of "Kitt"... complete with 'virtual' remote control of your car.

A 'dont panic' button on the screen to bring up the latest HHGTTG comment for "Earth".

I think a picture of a lump of dog turd priced at $0.01 would be more fitting for your concept ... and the device.

You're right. No-one will buy this. But you might (as I just did) look at this app on the store.

The description of which includes this line: "It if's too expensive for you - check out my other apps - they are all much cheaper."

So, all in all it's just a clever way to get himself some free advertising courtesy of sites like El Reg.

replace the picture of the dog turd, automatically installed on the iphone as a symbol of "I bought this shit?!"

Mine's the armour plated one suitable for wear in an orchard.

Efros

I hate being charged more than the Americans as much as anyone - however, at todays exchange rate $999.99 is £511.95. Once we add on VAT (which is never included on US prices but always included on UK prices) we get to £601.54.

Looks to me like a bargin saving of £1.56. Enough for a beer I reckon.

Come on guys, don't blame Apple when you simply forget the VAT.

When the next (£100 cheaper) version of the iBone comes out in time for the holidays, I'll rush right out and get one ... and the Turd-App.

What better and more appropriate use of that scatch-n-sniff screen ?

;-)

Yes thank you, the one with the brown scuff-mark on the lapel.

"I think a picture of a lump of dog turd priced at $0.01 would be more fitting for your concept ... and the device."

That would be for v1. The app for the 3G version would be the same with someone attempting to polish it

i am worried that El Reg are on a cheapo dial-up if it's really taking you guys that long to download the small iTunes update

it came down in only a few minutes on my connection at home

If I had the money to waste on buying a silly little graphic for my mobile phone, what in the name of all existence would possibly make you believe I would even be USING an iPhone?

I'm just wondering when this mediocre, slow-acting 'phone' will be recognised as the pretty but poor device it really is.

Is that v 1.0 or should we wait for the sp1

that does nothing, then look here:

http://www.bernardbelanger.com/computing/NaDa/index.php

You just know its gonna sell more than a few units....

Paris... well it clear why aint it ?

Where are you getting your beer from? I want in.

Isn't this a bit like the $100 VIP Luxury Ringtones in Grand Theft Auto 4?

Life imitating art?

Now WHY wasn't this tasty tid-bit about the Same Ol Shit from Apple of an Update DOING MORE DAMAGE than it fixes, reported??? Ain't Apple soooo wonderful? Huh, kook AppleTards?

"iPhone 2.0.1 Update Fixes Bugs, Breaks Some Devices"

Patricia Resende, newsfactor.comTue Aug 5, 4:51 PM ET

iPhone owners planning to add the newly available 2.0.1 software update need to be careful or they could end up with a dud.

When Apple launched its App Store and iPhone 2.0 software along with the iPhone 3G, users of both the 3G and upgraded first-generation iPhones with the 2.0 software faced several problems. Users reported slower synchronizations, dropped applications, unexpected reboots with both the iPhone software and downloaded applications, and problems with core GPS functions.

On Monday Apple responded with a 2.0.1 update that is expected to solve many of the performance-related issues the company described as bugs. Some changes included the ability to drag application icons across several pages in one motion, quicker keypad loads, and a better user interface.

No Permanent Fixes

But users are having problems installing the 249.2MB update and then connecting to services. And they are being warned to not put the iPhone in airplane mode, or they could lose more than connections.

Participants on Apple's support forum are complaining that they lost all wireless functionality, while others say the update bricked their handsets. Users who paid to have their iPhone 3Gs unlocked by Vodafone are also complaining that they are not able to reconnect to the service after the update.

Users having problems installing the 2.0.1 update are advised to attempt the install several times, as the iPhone may fail to update on the first try but should succeed on additional attempts.

Squashing Pwnage

The update was reportedly expected to do more than improve the user interface and increase sync times. According to some reports, one goal was to squash and make useless the jailbreaking Pwnage Tool, which opens up the iPhone's file system.

Calls to Apple for comment were not returned in time for publication.

It would be for the same reason that a person would wear a $15,000 watch.

Because some attractive lady might recognize "that's a $15k watch!", lean over and say to you "nice watch". It's a convenient in.

"I'm just wondering when this mediocre, slow-acting 'phone' will be recognised as the pretty but poor device it really is."

Don't worry, Paul, it's only a matter of time. People like me, who own an iPhone and love it, will soon realise that people like you -- who I'm guessing have only seen an iPhone on TV, or played with it for five minutes in an Apple store -- are in fact correct. Please try and tolerate our ignorance until this happens.

Seriously, I'm so bored with the "I hate the iPhone!" posts. "It's not 3G! It's too expensive! Hang on -- the new version is 3G, and it's cheaper. Er... wait... that's polishing a turd! I think...? Well, I hate it, anyway. Anyone who disagrees, and who likes their iPhone, is therefore an idiot."

Perhaps I should try it a few more times just to see if I can replicate the "horror" being reported here.? And all of my services seem to work too...

I just want an app on my phone that shows my 1988 Ford Escort and patched jeans...

Wish I'd thought of that.

Can you imagine Paris buying a copy when she sees it online? I thought so.

just wait a few weeks. the way the exchange rate is going, it'll be a bargain price for ya. Your pound sterling is already twice the dollar. Any bets on it hitting 2.5x within two years, or 3x after Obama and a Democratic congressional majority rule?

'Any bets on it hitting 2.5x within two years, or 3x after Obama and a Democratic congressional majority rule?'

Nah, with the current lot in charge over here we'll be in a race to parity with the Zimbabwe Dollar.

I'm sure that there is a market for that... You know, there is a $300,000 watch that does not tell the time (only tells whether it's night or day...).

http://laptoplogic.com/news/detail.php?id=4859

http://www.elitechoice.org/2008/04/04/300000-timeless-watch-a-pricey-possession-substitutes-sun-moon/

The "NaDa" one is classic. Then go back around 40 years (or more) and you find "IEFBR14". I leave it to others to explain this, but it WAS useful at the time!

That is soooo cool!

Head up North, a pint of bitter in my local is £1.38 !!

OK so the town centre places charge closer to £2 but I can live with that.

Whats that in the distance ? Oh no ! Coach loads of Southern alcoholics !!

:)

Already been done, 'nuff said.

Holy Flurking Shnit! A remembrance of things past. I have not written a line of JCL since 1999; I'd almost forgotten that one.

The fact that I wrote lines of JCL almost into the 21st century is another story... but now I can run OS virtually on my desktop, so maybe I can get back into practice.

XYZZY -- in both Colossal Cave *and* AOS/VS

Blimey, yes - good one! It was in fact extremely useful *because* it did nothing!

It was also (originally) the only single instruction program that contained a bug! (didn't set reg 14 to zero before branching back).

We really do need an Old Farts icon you know.

Some stupid idiot bought it for a joke, then left a 1* review crying that it was not a joke and his VISA was charged $999. What a turd!

Wish I'd thought of the idea first and put up an app to display some gold bullion on the screen

the cost? £10k