Wünderbra! German policewomen take 'Action Brassiere'
All aboard Das Boob
In news that gladdens the heart, not to mention the boob, German police are being issued with bullet-resistant bras*.
According to the Telegraph, female cops were complaining that while bullet-proof vests did their job adequately, they had the unfortunate side-effect of pushing the treacherous underwires and fixings of normal lingerie into the skin, causing pain and injury. This underweary unpleasantness has now been fixed thanks to the sturdy new street-battle-corsetry.
The bras are well padded and free of pesky flesh-puncturing fastenings. 3,000 female cops have been issued with three apiece and are obliged to wear them on duty (not all at once, though, that would be silly). Just to make sure they are employed solely for utilitarian purposes and not for anything kinky**, the banger-hangers are also printed with the word 'police' (or 'die Polizei', mayhap).
A Hamburg policewoman, Carmen Kibat, organised 'Action Brassiere' across Germany to get her fellow sore-norked officers to try the bras. "These can save someone's life," she said, "so it's not a laughing matter."
The projectile-impervious boulder-houlders are available in standard sizes
up to the maximum cup size of SS. ®
* Should you need to know for your next trip to Berlin, the German for 'bullet-proof bra' is, delightfully,
'der Gewehrkugelbeweisbüstenhalter' 'der Kugelsicherebüstenhalter'. Apparently.
** [This Bootnote nixed for legal reasons.]