The Register® — Biting the hand that feeds IT

Feeds

Cuil confesses 'serious file corruption'

The Worldwide Quantum Porn Pun Off

Customer Success Testimonial: Recovery is Everything

Cuil - still pronounced "Cool" - has apologized for its quantum porn, blaming the incident on "a serious corruption of [its] files."

After serving up random mid-masturbation graphics (NSFW) in response to searches for a Grenoble-based quantum computing researcher, the strawberry-and-muffin-fueled search engine now sees the error of its ways. In a personal email to said researcher, Cuil general counsel Pete Szymanski insists the company's groundbreaking Schrödinger's schlong experiment has been retired.

"We very much regret this incident and offer you our sincerest apologies," Szymanski tells loyal Reg reader Jonathan Grattage. "It was indeed a serious corruption in our files that resulted in the inappropriate image being displayed. We understand this may have caused you embarrassment and inconvenience. We have taken down the inappropriate materials and have identified and fixed the issue that caused the problem."

Indeed, searching on Jonathan Grattage no longer reveals arbitrary gay porn. And similarly lewd and irrelevant images have disappeared from searches such as "work permit" and "download movies."

For some, this is sad news. But Cuil has left its mark. At the very least, the would-be Google killer has brought joy to the lives of physicists everywhere. As this thread reveals, the quantum porn pun is now all the rage. Here is the, um, best of the lot:

Quantum Porn is sweet, it's every position at once... until observed.

It's very easy to get entangled in Quantum Porn.

Stop it, everyone! You're giving me a hadron!

Me too. Want to collide them?

Sure, but let's be sure we're in our excited states beforehand.

I like to get lepton...

Just make sure you don't make a meson my carpet.

Cuil isn't much of a search engine. But it's great entertainment. ®

Update

This "classic" quantum sex joke just in:

Q: Why didn't Heisenberg have a good sex life?

A: Because when he had the time he didn't have the energy, and when he had the energy he didn't have the time.

When it comes to quantum sex jokes, an expert tells us, this is as good as it gets.

Magic Quadrant for Enterprise Backup/Recovery

Latest Comments

Name Origin

Whats the bets that they asked an Irish guy what the Irish word for "Knowledge" was and he told them "Cuil" as a joke?

0
0

cuil! unkewl!

Well, google returns 4,470,000 results for cuil, cuil returns a little over 121,000.

No match again. Can't even find more references to itself (yes, and everything else containing the word cuil, I do know that) than google!

0
0

Cuil reviewed by the Comic Book Guy

Unfortunately, a search engine company has one chance of making an impression, and Cuil has lost it.

Here's what the Comic Book Guy (from the Simpsons) said:

http://www.flickr.com/photos/anirudhkoul/2728387587/

0
0

More from The Register

Bjarne Again: Hallelujah for C++
Plus: Now officially OK to admit you never used STL algorithms
Interwebs taunt Sir Jony over Apple eye candy makeover
Hey Ive, Ive... add more unicorns, willya?
SCO vs. IBM battle resumes over ownership of Unix
Zombie lawsuit back and wants to suck the brains out of Linux
Red Hat to ditch MySQL for MariaDB in RHEL 7
So long, Oracle! Don't let the door hit you on the way out
Shy? Socially inadequate? Fiddling with your phone could help
App 'tells the brutal truth' about social inadequates' chatup lines
Java EE 7 melds HTML5 with enterprise apps
New release arrives with GlassFish, NetBeans support
 breaking news
'Office Facebook' firm Tibbr wants you to PAY for mobe-meetings app
Great idea. Punters won't cough for it though
 breaking news
The only Waze is Google: Ad giant tipped to gobble map app 'for $1.3bn'
Pac-Man-satnav-ish upstart in bidding war with Apple, Facebook
 breaking news
PM Cameron calls for modern, programmable computers! (We think)
IT education musings to G8 chiefs to mystify IT industry
Apple at WWDC: Sleek new iOS, death of the big cats, pint-sized Mac Pro
CEO Cook: 'The biggest change to iOS since the introduction of the iPhone'