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Miller merkin made manifest in mockery of method

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Film fans are reeling from the latest Sienna Miller outrage, as studio sources reveal that technical wizardry is bestowing upon the actress a CGI-merkin.

With the whole Getty-nabbing furore so totally 30 seconds ago, the world is now agog (or at least so her agent would no doubt prefer) for details of the post-production pelvis-doctoring involved in Miller's latest role. The Factory Girl star appears in the naughty naked nude in Beeban Kidron's forthcoming 60s flick Hippie Hippie Shake, but it transpires her birthday suit is anachronistic.

As the Mirror reported last week, the fastidious blonde's Brazilian under-do has been gussied up with some computer imagery to give her an authentic, luxuriant flowerchild ladygarden. "Unfortunately, Brazilians weren't common in the 60s and Sienna's part involved one or two nude scenes - meaning that her grooming habits were on full display," quoth the Mirror's helpful studio gob.

"A merkin or pubic wig simply wouldn't have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue. Sienna's private parts were digitally enhanced, giving her a rather unruly, loud and proud bush."

We're sure there was a healthy scrap in the studio as to which techie got to lovingly sprinkle the virtual pube-proliferation around Sienna's impeccable landing strip.

While we admire the emergence of yet another ingenious use of ever-improving CGI, we can't help but think:

Christian 'Batman' Bale: Starved himself to the tune of 63lbs (28.64kg or 6.48 jubs) for his role as a paranoid insomniac in The Machinist.

Hilary Swank: Lived for a month as a man, complete with boob-suppressing bandages and strategically-placed socks, in preparation for the role of Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry.

Sienna Miller: Couldn't even be arsed to bypass the waxer for a few weeks and grow a bit of a knicker-wig. For shame.

Next week: Techies scramble to repair the anachronisms in Tom Cruise's latest film, Valkyrie, by CGI-ing out his entire performance. (Oh, give us a break, it's Monday.) ®

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