Feeds

CGI furnishes filmstar with fur

Miller merkin made manifest in mockery of method

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Film fans are reeling from the latest Sienna Miller outrage, as studio sources reveal that technical wizardry is bestowing upon the actress a CGI-merkin.

With the whole Getty-nabbing furore so totally 30 seconds ago, the world is now agog (or at least so her agent would no doubt prefer) for details of the post-production pelvis-doctoring involved in Miller's latest role. The Factory Girl star appears in the naughty naked nude in Beeban Kidron's forthcoming 60s flick Hippie Hippie Shake, but it transpires her birthday suit is anachronistic.

As the Mirror reported last week, the fastidious blonde's Brazilian under-do has been gussied up with some computer imagery to give her an authentic, luxuriant flowerchild ladygarden. "Unfortunately, Brazilians weren't common in the 60s and Sienna's part involved one or two nude scenes - meaning that her grooming habits were on full display," quoth the Mirror's helpful studio gob.

"A merkin or pubic wig simply wouldn't have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue. Sienna's private parts were digitally enhanced, giving her a rather unruly, loud and proud bush."

We're sure there was a healthy scrap in the studio as to which techie got to lovingly sprinkle the virtual pube-proliferation around Sienna's impeccable landing strip.

While we admire the emergence of yet another ingenious use of ever-improving CGI, we can't help but think:

Christian 'Batman' Bale: Starved himself to the tune of 63lbs (28.64kg or 6.48 jubs) for his role as a paranoid insomniac in The Machinist.

Hilary Swank: Lived for a month as a man, complete with boob-suppressing bandages and strategically-placed socks, in preparation for the role of Brandon Teena in Boys Don't Cry.

Sienna Miller: Couldn't even be arsed to bypass the waxer for a few weeks and grow a bit of a knicker-wig. For shame.

Next week: Techies scramble to repair the anachronisms in Tom Cruise's latest film, Valkyrie, by CGI-ing out his entire performance. (Oh, give us a break, it's Monday.) ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Designing and building an open ITOA architecture
Learn about a new IT data taxonomy defined by the four data sources of IT visibility: wire, machine, agent, and synthetic data sets.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
Getting started with customer-focused identity management
Learn why identity is a fundamental requirement to digital growth, and how without it there is no way to identify and engage customers in a meaningful way.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Business security measures using SSL
Examines the major types of threats to information security that businesses face today and the techniques for mitigating those threats.