Feeds

BT breaks up families

Broken Home Hub shocker

Intelligent flash storage arrays

BT customers affected by the dog-and-bone merchants' recent unconnecty unpleasantness will no doubt be pleased to know that it could be worse - the company is responsible for the traumatic break-up of at least one previously happy family.

According to a breathless press release the Reg has been handed, the ongoing ad campaign featuring that gangly bloke off of that sitcom is taking the kind of jolly, divorcey turn that's bound to amuse us in these uncertain times.

The telly spots have followed the blossoming domestic situation of man-boy Adam (played by Kris Marshall) and Jane (played by a nice lady whose name is absent from the release, presumably because she is not so famous) and its facilitation by various shiny BT boxes and dooberries. Alas, now the telco has seen fit to tear the couple apart by having Adam/Kris move out to take up his dream job.

Naturally the troubled couple have serious chats about their future by IM, but since Adam/Kris is now bereft of his BT Home Hub, the crappy rival broadband boots him off his connection. Jane/Lady is left agonising over whether or not this wireless silence will endure... forever. Moreover, potential customers are left in no doubt that going with Virgin will ruin your sex life.

The campaign will launch the new Home Hub, which promises to be so good that you would leave your ill-advised and unreliable choice of long-term partner for it.

Next week in advertising news: As consumers cut back on the little luxuries, Cadbury's resorts to drastic rival-bashing with a shock viral clip wherein the Phil Collins gorilla chokes to death on a Mars bar. ®

Bootnote

The ads must surely be taking inspiration from the epic shoulder-padded soap that was the Nescafé Gold Blend run of the 80s and 90s, featuring Anthony Head and a lady with massive earrings whose name is not a significant detail. Back then, a credit crunch was the sound your American Express card made when you accidentally sat on it in your 60-foot yacht. Those halcyon days.

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
New hybrid storage solutions
Tackling data challenges through emerging hybrid storage solutions that enable optimum database performance whilst managing costs and increasingly large data stores.