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BT breaks up families

Broken Home Hub shocker

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

BT customers affected by the dog-and-bone merchants' recent unconnecty unpleasantness will no doubt be pleased to know that it could be worse - the company is responsible for the traumatic break-up of at least one previously happy family.

According to a breathless press release the Reg has been handed, the ongoing ad campaign featuring that gangly bloke off of that sitcom is taking the kind of jolly, divorcey turn that's bound to amuse us in these uncertain times.

The telly spots have followed the blossoming domestic situation of man-boy Adam (played by Kris Marshall) and Jane (played by a nice lady whose name is absent from the release, presumably because she is not so famous) and its facilitation by various shiny BT boxes and dooberries. Alas, now the telco has seen fit to tear the couple apart by having Adam/Kris move out to take up his dream job.

Naturally the troubled couple have serious chats about their future by IM, but since Adam/Kris is now bereft of his BT Home Hub, the crappy rival broadband boots him off his connection. Jane/Lady is left agonising over whether or not this wireless silence will endure... forever. Moreover, potential customers are left in no doubt that going with Virgin will ruin your sex life.

The campaign will launch the new Home Hub, which promises to be so good that you would leave your ill-advised and unreliable choice of long-term partner for it.

Next week in advertising news: As consumers cut back on the little luxuries, Cadbury's resorts to drastic rival-bashing with a shock viral clip wherein the Phil Collins gorilla chokes to death on a Mars bar. ®

Bootnote

The ads must surely be taking inspiration from the epic shoulder-padded soap that was the Nescafé Gold Blend run of the 80s and 90s, featuring Anthony Head and a lady with massive earrings whose name is not a significant detail. Back then, a credit crunch was the sound your American Express card made when you accidentally sat on it in your 60-foot yacht. Those halcyon days.

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