Woman finds Lithuanian living in shed
He cleared her garden - a frightening experience
We know that some of you were rather sceptical about the shocking tale of Kosovan loftdwellers, so let's see what you make of the strange case of the Lithuanian lorry driver and the Banbury garden shed.
According to the Telegraph, 25-year-old Kelly Dudley first clocked the squatter wearing blue overalls in the overgrown garden of her rented house, and not unreasonably assumed the landlord had sent him round to clear the undergrowth.
However, her "suspicions were aroused" when she saw him coming out of the shed on a Sunday morning, and further investigation revealed he'd made himself right at home with "a large wooden-framed single bed, two televisions, a chest of drawers, a camping stove, pots and pans, a carpet, crockery, bags full of clothes, aftershave, and a shaving mirror".
Dudley said: "It beggars belief. The police came and tried to speak to him but all he could say was his name is John, he'd been there five days and he drives lorries and cranes. I've got no idea how he did it and I've been on maternity leave while he's been there, so he did it right under my nose."
Of her uninvited shed guest, she admitted: "He's cleared my whole garden completely without any tools and once I'd finished being scared I actually felt a bit sorry for him - he's clearly very house-proud, it's been kept very tidy and is probably nicer than some bedsits you can get in Banbury. I put some pot plants out and he even planted them in the garden one day.
"He offered to pay me rent and do my gardening for free if I let him stay there. I've got a six-month-old daughter and I might have considered it if I didn't have her."
Dudley concluded: "It's an amazing, funny story but it's also very frightening."
PC Matt Locke of Banbury police station explained: "We were contacted by a woman who claimed a homeless man was living in her shed. Local PCSOs visited and discovered a bed, television and other personal property had been moved into the shed. Another PC and I attended and interviewed the man, who was totally co-operative. He told us he was a Lithuanian national who had lost his job and became homeless.
"The garden, which has access from the road, was very overgrown and he thought the shed was abandoned, so he moved in, even cleaning up the garden. He hadn't committed any criminal offences, but we asked him to move on and he did so willingly, telling us he was going to pursue ways of returning to his home country." ®
Still unconvinced? The Telegraph has a snap of a shaken Dudley and the shed in question here.
Umm yeah, I got's a shed.
Hi All, I am Kelly Dudley, and it's my now infamous shed. Interestingly, I have made no comment to any press other than my local people, so please take everything you hear in the nationals with a pinch of salt!
Let me clear some stuff up:
1) I did not say I would have let this guy stay. I joked about it. I was not afraid that he had set up home in my shed in an effort to defile my daughter or kill me in my sleep. If he had, I doubt he'd have done the whole 'Changing Rooms' shebang on my outhouse. But the kind of guy who moves into your shed without you noticing is not the ideal playmate for one's 6 month old daughter, right? And besides, subletting goes against my tenancy agreement.
2) He should have had a bloody TV license! I think the law states that anyone who's domicile has a lockable door of its own requires one. That's how they sting all the students in halls at uni. My (completely paid up) license does not cover him!
3) Yes, there was electricity in the shed. This does not make me posh - it just means that it is possible to mow the lawn. I didn't even know it was in there (a rented property, an unused shed) but I guess it made sense when the landlords were adding the extension.
4) This was never meant to hit the headlines - I am a journalist who just decided to tell her local paper about her weird and wonderful Sunday! I almost wet myself when I saw it all over the tabloids.
5) If I ever look as rough as I did in the picture they used, it'll be because I am living in the shed.
6) Lazy bad mother? Pah. I took my six months of maternity leave and am now back at work. You guys are all sat in your offices reading The Register - where is your work ethic?
Right, is that everything? A big thanks to all the commenters at The Register who regularly make my day. The guy left without taking his stuff, so the shed is still set out as a bedsit. You are all welcome any time - I think you can actually steal wi-fi from the hotel across the road in there. I'll ask Jon the trucker if he comes back!
No home for you!
"You are a man, and i have a baby daughter, therefore you must want to rape her. To the streets with you!"
Why exactly was she worried about her daughter?
What does anyone (bar like 1 in a million) people want to do with a kid? The totally normal 999,999 people will either
a: want the child to shut up
b: think aww what a lovely child - I hope it all the best
c: Hey check out this tonker truck, when I was traveling from ship to ship long ago I saw many a things, grow up and don't become like me okay kid!
d: What child?
What the hell is wrong with people now days anyway, why do (apparenlty normal) people keep thinking that men want to harm or have sex with their children? In my reasonably lengthed life I'm yet to meet someone who wants to harm or hump real children, (now people that want to hump Fate or Nanoha - that's a different story.)
I mean what gives?