Boozers rejoice - it's the USB wine tap!
If a glass of plonk is your limit after a long day at the office, then you’d better not read on, because a tipple at your desk is now much easier, thanks to the fabulous French invention that is the USB Wine Tap.
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This ingenious device will pour you a perfect mouthful of Montepulciano directly from a tap that plugs into your computer’s USB port. So, while you’re working late on that big presentation, you can still have a quick drink without leaving your desk. The tap is even PC and Mac compatible.
But here's the best bit: a huge cellar is available at the click of a mouse. Just make your selection from the accompanying website, and your favourite vintage is delivered straight over your internet connection to your spiggot.
Sacre Bleu! It's the USB Wine Tap
It even works with wireless, we understand, though folk on 802.11b links may take longer to fill a bottle than 802.11n users do.
Macs, PCs, Linux boxes - vinibibulists of all kinds can take advantage of this amazing innovation.
Yes, it’s a fake, but it’s a very funny one and we compliment French website Mensup.fr on their excellent send-up of USB nonsense. We only wish it were true…
Thanks to reader Peter Houppermans for the tipple... er... tip
Previously on El Reg...
Careful now. We all know what happens when geeks get involved with wine:
Or even worse:
[The icon is me doing the recycling at the bottle bank]
@Actually, How about...
ePlonkey, Wazaa (*the* site for pirated Budweiser), PirateBayRum, Nipster, Dropster, Beaujolais Gnuvoux, Sherryaza, WinPX, Morepeeus or Juiced.
Or just download direct from Boozenet.
You could even go to one of the legit aggregators: RealAle-dio and QuickTimeGentlemenPlease (lots of cider there).
I want to believe.
As I explained on another forum when this topic was brought up...
After researching this, I've found that it's not a hoax, although there's more to it than meets the eye:
As well as the USB adapter, your computer needs to meet the Bluetooth V3.01 specification (not the traditional bluetooth) because the bandwidth provided by bluetooth 3.01 has sufficient bandwidth to manipulate the molecules of the "base liquid" (a "programmable" juice if you will) supplied by the manufacturers. You also need to attach a pump for the aforementioned base liquid to your computer, which needs to be plugged into the mains.
Although this technology is revolutionary, there hasn't been a "fanfare" release, as the manufacturers are trying to come up with anti-copying technology, due to already being under threat from "drink piracy". There are many P2P networks out there where the users are illegally trading wines and other usb-based alchoholic drinks. These programmes go by such names as GrapeTorrent, WineWire and BeerShare.
It isn't a new idea. Hugeglobalnet created an internet-based beverage delivery system more than 8 years ago