Feeds

Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

Feral youths mug Middle England

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

It's with a chill in our hearts that we report today that the Telegraph appears to have succumbed to the inexorable rise of the Twat-O-Tron - originally designed as an automated "unholy turdspurt" generator based on real insights down at the BBC's Have Your Say.

However, what started as a light-hearted piece of tomfoolery quickly became a serious threat to democracy as the Twat-O-Tron achieved self-awareness and started to post its own comments on HYS.

Now, we have proof that the diabolical rant machine has actually gained mind control of Middle England, and is using enraged Brits to broaden its portfolio of indignation. Try the comments on this innocent piece regarding the possibility of upping sticks and buggering off to Canada.

Here's a selection:

4. Posted by John Ledbury on July 01, 2008 10:16 AM

Would they like our alienated immigrant groups and asylum seekers?

8. Posted by gavin on July 01, 2008 10:14 AM

The big bonus is that there aren't the gangs of feral youths wandering the streets drunk, bullying and intimidating anyone who hasn't been similarly empowered by 10 years of catastrophic nu-labour "government".

10. Posted by Mike on July 01, 2008 10:13 AM

As several have said if they were younger they'd go over there at a stroke. Why on earth should skilled workers in the UK stay there just to be mugged by Labours feral scum on the streets and mugged again by Brown and Darling in their pay packets and pensions. Its a no brainer and many will leave Britain as a country of benefit scroungers with no one left to pay for it

12. Posted by David on July 01, 2008 10:13 AM

After 11 years of Labour destruction, the only people left in England will be immigrants and Scots, which is probably what Labour wants!

57. Posted by londoner234 on July 01, 2008 07:41 AM

im 83yrs of age, if i was a young man i would jump at the chance, i wish i had gone to australia on the ten pound scheme in 1947 my one regret in life, i watched this country go down the drain the last fifty years, and become a dust bin for people that hate us but come to live on our benefit system till it barely functions for the native britain. god help england.we dont seem to want to help our selves in this debacle.

Marvellous. And for those of you who like your rants with an added touch of WTF? value, try comment 22, or this cracker:

45. Posted by chris sterling on July 01, 2008 09:05 AM

Canada wont exist for long, their are secret plans to absorb USA, MEXICO and Canada into one horrible prison state. The currency will be the 'AMERO'. Better of sticking with the devil you know than the devil you dont.

Terrifying. We're not quite sure who will be impounded in the integrated prison state, but suspect the Twat-O-Tron is preparing to detain all those who resist its rise to global domination and continue to express opinions which do not contain the words "feral", "scum", "immigrants", and "scroungers".

As the Twat-O-Tron itself might put it: "It's not rocket science, muslims and paedos are controlling our brains via the so-called 'press'. what would churchill say? the silent majority must call in the army now. remember, you read it here first!?!" ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.