Feeds

Telegraph falls to the Tw*t-O-Tron

Feral youths mug Middle England

Gartner critical capabilities for enterprise endpoint backup

It's with a chill in our hearts that we report today that the Telegraph appears to have succumbed to the inexorable rise of the Twat-O-Tron - originally designed as an automated "unholy turdspurt" generator based on real insights down at the BBC's Have Your Say.

However, what started as a light-hearted piece of tomfoolery quickly became a serious threat to democracy as the Twat-O-Tron achieved self-awareness and started to post its own comments on HYS.

Now, we have proof that the diabolical rant machine has actually gained mind control of Middle England, and is using enraged Brits to broaden its portfolio of indignation. Try the comments on this innocent piece regarding the possibility of upping sticks and buggering off to Canada.

Here's a selection:

4. Posted by John Ledbury on July 01, 2008 10:16 AM

Would they like our alienated immigrant groups and asylum seekers?

8. Posted by gavin on July 01, 2008 10:14 AM

The big bonus is that there aren't the gangs of feral youths wandering the streets drunk, bullying and intimidating anyone who hasn't been similarly empowered by 10 years of catastrophic nu-labour "government".

10. Posted by Mike on July 01, 2008 10:13 AM

As several have said if they were younger they'd go over there at a stroke. Why on earth should skilled workers in the UK stay there just to be mugged by Labours feral scum on the streets and mugged again by Brown and Darling in their pay packets and pensions. Its a no brainer and many will leave Britain as a country of benefit scroungers with no one left to pay for it

12. Posted by David on July 01, 2008 10:13 AM

After 11 years of Labour destruction, the only people left in England will be immigrants and Scots, which is probably what Labour wants!

57. Posted by londoner234 on July 01, 2008 07:41 AM

im 83yrs of age, if i was a young man i would jump at the chance, i wish i had gone to australia on the ten pound scheme in 1947 my one regret in life, i watched this country go down the drain the last fifty years, and become a dust bin for people that hate us but come to live on our benefit system till it barely functions for the native britain. god help england.we dont seem to want to help our selves in this debacle.

Marvellous. And for those of you who like your rants with an added touch of WTF? value, try comment 22, or this cracker:

45. Posted by chris sterling on July 01, 2008 09:05 AM

Canada wont exist for long, their are secret plans to absorb USA, MEXICO and Canada into one horrible prison state. The currency will be the 'AMERO'. Better of sticking with the devil you know than the devil you dont.

Terrifying. We're not quite sure who will be impounded in the integrated prison state, but suspect the Twat-O-Tron is preparing to detain all those who resist its rise to global domination and continue to express opinions which do not contain the words "feral", "scum", "immigrants", and "scroungers".

As the Twat-O-Tron itself might put it: "It's not rocket science, muslims and paedos are controlling our brains via the so-called 'press'. what would churchill say? the silent majority must call in the army now. remember, you read it here first!?!" ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

5 things you didn’t know about cloud backup
IT departments are embracing cloud backup, but there’s a lot you need to know before choosing a service provider. Learn all the critical things you need to know.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Build a business case: developing custom apps
Learn how to maximize the value of custom applications by accelerating and simplifying their development.
Rethinking backup and recovery in the modern data center
Combining intelligence, operational analytics, and automation to enable efficient, data-driven IT organizations using the HP ABR approach.
Next gen security for virtualised datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.