Feeds

Granite Jesus, blessed be thy gneiss

Plutonic slab of God appears in Dallas

High performance access to file storage

Bible II: New Testament protagonist Jesus Christ has thrilled US fans this week by appearing on a slab of Brazilian granite in Dallas Texas.

John Ganster, co-owner of the Verona Marble Company stone company first recognized the divinity of his 1,000-pound chunk of masonry when a customer inquired about purchasing the "Jesus slab."

A picture of the stone, procured from Dallas Morning News footage shows stained granite that indisputably depicts the son of God and divine Messiah of the Christian people, whose coming was prophesied in the Old Testament.

It's the real thing

Or possibly one of those hooded skeleton dudes from Lord of the Rings.

Note the Lamb of God appears to be making some sort of two finger hand gesture — or pointing to what could be an ethereal image of the NetApp logo over his shoulder. An El Reg colleague who suggested he's doing the "shocker" displeases igneous Jesus.

The Jesus slab had previously been at the company's Tulsa, Oklahoma store but was moved to Dallas after builders continually passed up the stone because of its imperfections. Let he without sin cast the first...oh.

According to Christian faith, Jesus promised to return to Earth once more in time for the Second Coming. He has, however, made several "unofficial" returns in the forms of the floor of a garage, a pancake covered in syrup, a cloud floating over Mount Sinai, and others. In many of his visits Jesus provides the owner of these objects a small amount of fame and sometimes extra spending money thanks to the popular online holy artifact trading service, EBay.

Ganster has no plans to sell granite Christ even though he's reportedly had many offers. He said the company plans to donate the stone to a Catholic church in Oklahoma.

"This came to us for a reason," Ganster told Dallas Morning News. "I don't know why, but it did."

Bootnote

Answer: Granite comes to us when a mixture of several different silicate minerals and oxides, mostly consisting of quartz and feldspar, are pushed up to the earth's crust.

Granite may come to a stone company because the material is commonly used as a dimension stone, statues and monuments, and as flooring tiles in buildings and homes. ®

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
Lego is the TOOL OF SATAN, thunders Polish priest
New minifigs like Monster Fighters are turning kids to the dark side
Dark SITH LORD 'Darth Vader' joins battle to rule, er, Ukraine
Only I can 'make an empire out of a republic' intones presidential candidate
Chinese company counters pollution by importing fresh air
Citizens line up for bags of that sweet, sweet mountain air
Google asks April Fools: Want a job? Be our 'Pokemon Master'
Mountain View is prankin' like it's 1999...
prev story

Whitepapers

Top three mobile application threats
Learn about three of the top mobile application security threats facing businesses today and recommendations on how to mitigate the risk.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
SANS - Survey on application security programs
In this whitepaper learn about the state of application security programs and practices of 488 surveyed respondents, and discover how mature and effective these programs are.