Feeds

US hackette ponders jub-powered iPod

'Why not put the girls to work?'

Build a business case: developing custom apps

NSFW It's hats off this sunny Friday to US hackette Adrienne So of Washington Post tentacle Slate, who earlier this week pondered the delicious possibility of the jub-powered iPod.

As Adrienne points out, there's an awful lot of mammergy going to waste as sporty girls' chesticles resist the restraining force of sports bras and so, as she put it: "Why not put the girls to work?"

Cue the theoretical 'leccy generating brassiere, which Ms So pitched to former Oregon State University professor of exercise science LaJean Lawson. The good prof has "studied breast motion since 1985", and now works with Nike to develop better bras for sportswomen.

Lawson agreed that bouncing breasts might indeed provide a viable source of eco-power, while cautioning: "Let's face it - if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running."

Lawson indicated that B-cup jubs might travel vertically an inch during a work-out, and then sensationally claimed that "a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down during exercise" - something we'd pay good money to see, and no messing.

In fact, our own research suggests a more modest figure, as confirmed by the jubtastic "bounceometer". Click here and prepare to be astounded:

The bounceometer: the net's true purpose

Suitably inspired by Lawson's figures, Adrienne then touched base with Professor Zhong Lin Wang of Georgia Tech - currently working on a "fabric made from nanowires that will capture energy from motion" - who confirmed a bra made of his wonder material could indeed power an iPod.

He encouraged: "Bras would be ideal. There is a lot of friction and movement in that general area. And the fabric would be thick."

Sadly, it was at this point that the plan hit a technical snag - the nanowire fabric doesn't respond well to washing, something it has in common with Triumph International Japan's prototype solar powered bra.

Since So is adamant any eco-bra must be machine washable, she's left to mull just how long it will be until her breasts can "start pulling their own weight". ®

Boost IT visibility and business value

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
Nuts to your poncey hipster coffees, I want a TESLA ELECTRO-CAFE
Examining the frothy disconnect in indie cafe culture
Ex-Apple man Sam Sung - for it is he - sticks namebadge on eBay
Stump up via tat bazaar, do a good thing for ill kids
Check your Clungene, Irish women warned
Have a quick shufti, you may not be pregnant after all
prev story

Whitepapers

Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Top 8 considerations to enable and simplify mobility
In this whitepaper learn how to successfully add mobile capabilities simply and cost effectively.
Solving today's distributed Big Data backup challenges
Enable IT efficiency and allow a firm to access and reuse corporate information for competitive advantage, ultimately changing business outcomes.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.