Feeds

US hackette ponders jub-powered iPod

'Why not put the girls to work?'

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

NSFW It's hats off this sunny Friday to US hackette Adrienne So of Washington Post tentacle Slate, who earlier this week pondered the delicious possibility of the jub-powered iPod.

As Adrienne points out, there's an awful lot of mammergy going to waste as sporty girls' chesticles resist the restraining force of sports bras and so, as she put it: "Why not put the girls to work?"

Cue the theoretical 'leccy generating brassiere, which Ms So pitched to former Oregon State University professor of exercise science LaJean Lawson. The good prof has "studied breast motion since 1985", and now works with Nike to develop better bras for sportswomen.

Lawson agreed that bouncing breasts might indeed provide a viable source of eco-power, while cautioning: "Let's face it - if you're a double-A marathoner, you're probably not going to get that iPod up and running."

Lawson indicated that B-cup jubs might travel vertically an inch during a work-out, and then sensationally claimed that "a D-cup in a low-support bra can travel as much as 35 inches up and down during exercise" - something we'd pay good money to see, and no messing.

In fact, our own research suggests a more modest figure, as confirmed by the jubtastic "bounceometer". Click here and prepare to be astounded:

The bounceometer: the net's true purpose

Suitably inspired by Lawson's figures, Adrienne then touched base with Professor Zhong Lin Wang of Georgia Tech - currently working on a "fabric made from nanowires that will capture energy from motion" - who confirmed a bra made of his wonder material could indeed power an iPod.

He encouraged: "Bras would be ideal. There is a lot of friction and movement in that general area. And the fabric would be thick."

Sadly, it was at this point that the plan hit a technical snag - the nanowire fabric doesn't respond well to washing, something it has in common with Triumph International Japan's prototype solar powered bra.

Since So is adamant any eco-bra must be machine washable, she's left to mull just how long it will be until her breasts can "start pulling their own weight". ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.