Feeds

Comedy UK social network berates moaning users

'F*ck tha haterz'

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Maverick UK social network Faceparty has today told its millions of users it "can't be arsed" with their attitudes, and so has "shut the whole site down and fucked off to the zoo".

According to an outstanding rant posted to faceparty.com today and titled "To tha Haterz", the site's users have been complaining over an unfulfilled promise to provide "free cool tools" to everyone who uploaded a picture of themselves in fancy dress.

Faceparty's operators dispute users' claims that they have failed to deliver the "free cool tools" on time. In today's missive they promise to delete the account of "every single twat who moaned about their friggin' free cool tools". Users are warned that if they moan again the administrators will shut Faceparty down and get a job instead.

One particular "nob", we're told, is suing Faceparty because he didn't get his "free cool tools". We'll let Faceparty explain why it believes that's unfair itself:

Listen this is our HOBBY, not our business. there was a time when you understood that - back when the net was run buy [sic] the people like us, and not by massive corporations - just because MySpace and Facebook sold out to the corporate world, doesn't mean we did - we said no. Stop expecting "customer service" from us, cos WE DON'T HAVE CUSTOMERS - IT'S A FREE FUCKING SITE - too many of you treat us like we owe you something.

And quit the "you need us attitude" cos we really fucking don't. We don't make money from you - it's free. The things you pay for only cover the costs for the things you use.

The fit of pique is not entirely out of character for Faceparty, owned by Anarchy Towers Ltd. It's probably best known to most Reg readers for its unusual decision to kick out everyone over the age 36 because they might be paedophiles. It claimed new laws would mean the government would force it to verify all email addresses against the Sex Offenders Register, which it refused to do.

It was unclear how kicking out everyone older than 36 helped, or why that age was chosen. Faceparty later said it had deleted the accounts for other reasons.

The Guardian reported in November last year that Faceparty's audience was declining after peaking at six million, although today's message claims the recent mass deletions took out seven million profiles. According to the paper it's favoured by clubbers and gay men.

You can read Faceparty's whole, brilliant - if unbusiness like - tirade against its users in all its glory here. We've also saved a copy here for when the admins get back from the zoo.

The site's operators might not be paper billionaires, but they make much more interesting copy than boy-droid Gates clone Mark Zuckerberg. And for that, we at least, thank them. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
Criticism of Uber's journo-Data Analytics plan is an Attack on DIGITAL FREEDOM
First they came for Emil – and I'm damn well SPEAKING OUT
'It is comforting to know where your data centres are.' UK.GOV does NOT
Plus: Anons are 'wannabes', KKK says, before being pwned
Google's whois results say it's a lousy smut searcher
Run whois google.com or whois microsoft.com. We dare you, you PIG◙◙◙◙ER
Holy vintage vehicles! Earliest known official Batmobile goes on sale
Riddle me this: are you prepared to pay US$180k?
'Open source just means big companies can steal your code.' O RLY?
Plus: Flame of the Week returns, for one night only!
NEWSFLASH: It's time to ditch dullard Facebook chums
Everything hot in tech, courtesy of avian anchor Regina Eggbert
Hey, you, PHONE-FACE! Kickstarter in-car mobe mount will EMBED your phone into your MUG
Stick it on the steering wheel and wait for the airbag to fire
prev story

Whitepapers

Go beyond APM with real-time IT operations analytics
How IT operations teams can harness the wealth of wire data already flowing through their environment for real-time operational intelligence.
Why CIOs should rethink endpoint data protection in the age of mobility
Assessing trends in data protection, specifically with respect to mobile devices, BYOD, and remote employees.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Protecting against web application threats using SSL
SSL encryption can protect server‐to‐server communications, client devices, cloud resources, and other endpoints in order to help prevent the risk of data loss and losing customer trust.