Feeds

DARPA working on T-ray spyeye spectacle tech

Offers Vatican Jesus conspiracy and nudity bonanza

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

Pentagon boffinry chiefs have sprung aboard the terahertz technology bandwagon which has been gathering speed in recent times.

Funding is now on offer for those who can have a credible stab at making the slippery T-ray easier to generate and detect, potentially unlocking a huge techno treasure vault stuffed with goodies such as unused wireless spectrum, long-hidden art masterpieces and improved airport security. However, like all good technology breakthroughs, T-rays also offer users the ability to look at pictures of naked people and read conspiracy theories.

The latest push for improved T-ray tech comes from DARPA, the poorly-integrated, troubling, erratically brilliant bulge-headed mutant child of the US military establishment. The war-profs have just chucked out a solicitation for ideas, downloadable here. According to DARPA:

The sub-millimeter wave frequency band between 0.3 to 3 Terahertz has historically been extremely difficult to access due to a lack of effective means to generate, detect, process, and radiate radio-frequency (RF) signals. The range of potential applications... is nonetheless extensive, including imaging, radar, spectroscopy, and communications.

The terahertz band lying between optics and present-day electronics is nowadays being accessed more and more, though at present this calls for expensive specialised kit. Art brains from the Louvre have lately used T-ray scanning to view murals hidden beneath plaster overlays. They believe that hundreds of long-lost art masterpieces, hidden beneath friezes or similar which are too valuable to be scraped off, might be so brought to light - including at least one mural by Leonardo da Vinci, which would presumably have at least some chance of revealing an ancient Vatican conspiracy to hush up some quality dirt on Jesus' girlfriend or similar. Alternatively you might suddenly find comparatively dull directions to the Holy Grail. Likewise, acres of high-class Renaissance-era pornorotica, with clothes later painted on in prudish censorship stylee, could now be exposed to the public through the magic of T-rays.

As if that wasn't enough in terms of Vatican Jesus coverup scandal and possible intellectually kosher cryptic grumble-snap benefits, there's yet more nudity on offer. Current T-ray and T-ray related airport security scanners, for instance, are strictly passive - viewing the millimetre or terahertz waves naturally emitted by the human body. Thus, their through-clothes perving capabilities are intrinsically limited - and in any case of little use recreationally, since large scanner machines are a bit conspicuous.

Those of us who remember the X-ray spectacle adverts in the back of old Superman comics have always fancied something a trifle more portable and unobtrusive - more on the lines of the slightly dodgy-looking blue tinted jobs employed by James Bond in the The World Is Not Enough, for instance. These, tastefully, made outer garments invisible but left frilly underthings fairly opaque - but one imagines there would be some kind of adjustable knob for full penetration. As it were.

DARPA's new, smaller active T-ray generators and receivers are plainly a step in the right direction.

There's also the prospect of a lot of new wireless bandwidth, too, though fairly short-range unless it could be used mainly in the upper atmosphere. ®

Intelligent flash storage arrays

More from The Register

next story
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.