Feeds

MPs call Qinetiq sellout execs 'profiteers' - no, really?

Cutlasses, parrots retrospectively seen as clues

Intelligent flash storage arrays

Naturally enough, once the men in eyepatches and big boots have been invited to take over the ship, they predictably unscrew and trouser most of the portable fittings before setting sail for the Spanish Main, making surplus British crew walk the plank as they go.

Then, sometimes, a few people will notice belatedly that something has gone wrong - that we don't have a ship anymore, and we have to rent it back at extortionate costs when we want it. Also that our former captains now indulge in such hobbies as collecting life-size elephant sculptures made of solid gold.

Then we spend the next decade with people like the Public Accounts Committee fighting over who can issue the most showy condemnation of the way the thing was handled - without recommending any action other than bolting that particular stable door in future (which in this case, as the MPs largely admit, has already been done).

Nobody has the guts to suggest that any of the supervising mandarins be fired, or have their pensions taken away. Nobody dares to stain the reputations of the political management who oversaw the deal. After a few years, people will dare to point to the hugely wealthy pirate skippers, and call them mildly ugly names like "profiteer" - like they care - but that's it.

And absolutely nobody bothers to spend time seeking out the skulduggery that's going on now, that didn't happen years ago. Things like Watchkeeper, and Eurofighter Tranche 3, and Future Lynx - and these are just in the MoD. The NHS gets three times the Defence budget - it probably has at least three times as much general burglary and waste going on. And even that is peanuts compared to the various forms of social-inclusion spending.

Come on, MPs. Come on, National Audit Office. We know about QinetiQ. Turn around and look into the future - or at least the present, for goodness' sake - why don't you? ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

More from The Register

next story
Doctor Who's Flatline: Cool monsters, yes, but utterly limp subplots
We know what the Doctor does, stop going on about it already
Facebook, Apple: LADIES! Why not FREEZE your EGGS? It's on the company!
No biological clockwatching when you work in Silicon Valley
'Cowardly, venomous trolls' threatened with TWO-YEAR sentences for menacing posts
UK government: 'Taking a stand against a baying cyber-mob'
Happiness economics is bollocks. Oh, UK.gov just adopted it? Er ...
Opportunity doesn't knock; it costs us instead
The 'fun-nification' of computer education – good idea?
Compulsory code schools, luvvies love it, but what about Maths and Physics?
Ex-US Navy fighter pilot MIT prof: Drones beat humans - I should know
'Missy' Cummings on UAVs, smartcars and dying from boredom
Sysadmin with EBOLA? Gartner's issued advice to debug your biz
Start hoarding cleaning supplies, analyst firm says, and assume your team will scatter
Zippy one-liners, broken promises: Doctor Who on the Orient Express
Series finally hits stride, but Clara's U-turn is baffling
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.