What hell hath science wrought lately?

A quick guide to man's abominations

By Austin Modine • Get more from this author

Posted in Science, 6th June 2008 23:48 GMT

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DHS Brainscan

The US Department of Homeland Security (DHS) no doubt has many scientific horrors in mind for the nation's citizens. Yet few are quite so obviously sinister as dreaming up "Project Hostile Intent."

The proposed device, developed by the Human Factors Division of the DHS Science & Technology directorate — scared yet? — is to probe airline passengers for signs of deception or hostility.

Isn't this how Sylvester McMonkey McBean changed star-bellied Sneeches?

But perhaps you live in, oh, northern Liechtenstein and don't plan on visiting the US any time soon. Nobody's about to plumb your precious noggin, right? Well, perhaps. That depends on where you stick it. But even the most vigilant chap or lassie isn't safe.

Here's how your life will end: [spoiler alert] Who seethes with more repressed hostility and deception than your average IT worker? Just have a look at our comments section for proof. Fact is, this contraption will be shipping America's tech industry to Guantanamo faster than you can say Sweet Land of Liberty.

Pow. A major piece of the web's infrastructure grinds to a halt. And with it goes a few thousand zombie systems spamming ads for knockoff Rolex watches and Viagra. Now the idiot living one house over is late for work, sexually unsatisfied, and has money burning a hole in his pocket. It's only a matter of time before he buys a gun and shoots you in the face. Maybe you should have trimmed that tree branch creeping over his lawn after all. Guess that makes you the jerk.

Danger level: 2/5

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