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A quick guide to man's abominations

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Boston Dynamics walking robotic horror

Robots, oh my yes, now here's a subject ripe with abominations every which way you look. Gaze upon the terrifying rubbery face of the future and despair. Know how easily robots turn on their masters and even attempt to indoctrinate our children. Nasty pieces of work, robots.

And yet, robots have a terrible secret.

Lean in closer, they may be watching.

OK, most robots aren't just cumbersome, they're cumberall. Completely full of cumber. They're nature's tortoises — ah — or something. Look, friend, the analogies aren't important here. What we're getting at is that one good kick and a Gort is down and dreaming of electric sheep.

The all mighty foot was going to be our secret weapon for the nearing robot apocalypse until scientists mucked everything up. Again. Enter Boston Dynamics's BigDog quadruped robot.

Watch the video. Not only is the goat-legged robot just straight-up unsettling, it can take a gigantic sole-studded heave — while walking on ice no less — and makes a dainty recovery.

We'd like to think the folks at Boston Dynamics are a responsible group. We'd like to think that. But all it takes is one person with a clever idea to install some spare cyclone dreadlord missile launchers or plasma bolt guns laying around and we're all completely done for.

At least with BigDog's horrible buzzing noise, the quadruped doesn't stand much of a chance sneaking up on a human. That can make all the difference in a battle to the death [We're using the fight between Captain Kirk and the Gorn as a model - Ed].

Danger level: 2/5

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