Feeds

What hell hath science wrought lately?

A quick guide to man's abominations

High performance access to file storage

In the beginning, things were simple. That's arguably because people were far more stupid, but let's not split hairs.

The point is, along came scientists with their fancy protractors, Bunsen burners and diesel-powered speedboats to complicate everything. Today there are scientific abominations all around us — and yes — they are coming to get you. (And we were hoping to keep this from you a bit longer, but they are also coming for your loved ones and family pet too.)

Seeing as how things move so quickly in this day in age, we thought it worthwhile compile a short list of some of things you need to worry about over the weekend.

Quoth Illidan: You are not prepared.

Chimeras

Science will ruin everything. Everything.

Scientists at the University of Nevada say they've figured out how make a human-sheep chimera. That's a sheep with 85 per cent animal cells and 15 per cent human cells.

It's done by an elegant process of sucking stem cells out from a person's bone marrow and injecting them into the unripe belly of a sheep fetus. The apparent point is to one day let animals rather courteously grow our organs for human transplant.

Here's the deal — the only place where human bone marrow and sheep fetuses should be mixed together is the grinder in a hotdog factory. And sheepmen? Really? We'll bet a good portion of our readers have turned off the filtering on Google Image Search and accidentally seen drawings of what some people fantasize doing to human/animal hybrid creatures. (And Mrs. Buttersworth too, apparently. I still have nightmares.)

If all that's not enough to scare you, this author has a handy little reference manual called a "D&D sourcebook" and it flat-out says Chimera are by nature chaotic evil. And 2d6+4 bite attacks aren't something our children should be exposed to. Ever.

Call me old fashion.

But back to the organ thing. A lot of us sleep better knowing, worst comes to worst, there's a guy that knows a guy who will pay a lot of money for a human kidney — no questions asked. Suddenly Joe Renal Disease can upgrade to an A-grade sheep organ for a song. Where does that leave us growing organs au naturel? These creatures are coming for our rent money too.

Danger level: 3/5

High performance access to file storage

More from The Register

next story
IBM Hursley Park: Where Big Blue buries the past, polishes family jewels
How the internet of things has deep roots in the English countryside
Video games make you NASTY AND VIOLENT
Especially if you are bad at them and keep losing
Russian deputy PM: 'We are coming to the Moon FOREVER'
Plans to annex Earth's satellite with permanent base by 2030
Solar-powered aircraft unveiled for round-the-world flight
It's going to be a slow and sleepy flight for the pilots
LOHAN's Punch and Judy show relaunches Thursday
Weather looking good for second pop at test flights
Honeybee boffin STINGS OWN WEDDING TACKLE... for SCIENCE
Not the worst place to be stung, says one man
India's GPS alternative launches second satellite
Closed satnav system due to have all seven birds aloft by 2016
Curiosity finds not-very-Australian-shaped rock on Mars
File under 'messianic pastries' and move on, people
prev story

Whitepapers

Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Five 3D headsets to be won!
We were so impressed by the Durovis Dive headset we’ve asked the company to give some away to Reg readers.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.