Feeds

T5 Transformers t-shirt bust: Shock snap

Armed apparel supression team tackles terrorist threat

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

The shock news yesterday that if you're travelling via Heathrow's splendid Terminal 5 it's probably best to leave the Transformers t-shirt at home prompted widespread condemnation of the UK's terror-busting airport security protocols.

In the case of Brad Jayakody, he wisely opted to swap the offending shirt for something less menacing, and thereby avoided a possible cuffing.

Here, however, is what happens if you attempt to argue the toss:

Our Playmobil mock-up of a T5 Transformers t-shirt bust

As you can see, T5 security has moved with lightning speed to neutralise the possible threat, deploying armed apparel suppression units, dog teams and back-up vehicles manned by hardened police vets of the Met's elite "Battling Streatham Clotheshorse" unit.

Sadly, in their enthusiasm to keep cartoon weapons firmly grounded, officers have failed to notice two members of al-Qaeda, cunningly disguised as pirates, who are about to load a container of weapons-grade plutonium onto a flight to Iran.

They're also blissfully unaware that the real Optimus Prime, having just been told by British Airways that his luggage has gone awol, has decided to scrap his planned weekend break in the Seychelles and vent his anger at T5's state-of-the-art baggage handling system by reducing the whole of Heathrow to smouldering rubble. ®

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her
Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.