Feeds

Bonce-antenna education downloads foreseen in 30 years

Goth-fear admiral has brain chips on the brain

Remote control for virtualized desktops

A controversial ex-admiral who now represents much of Blighty's fee-paying schools sector has predicted that schoolchildren of the not-too-distant future might download knowledge directly into their brains. The private schooling honcho seemed to predict some kind of implanted cranial antenna technology, rather than the relatively old-school bonce-socket option.

"It's a very short route from wireless technology to actually getting the electrical connections in your brain to absorb that knowledge," Rear Admiral Chris Parry - now chief executive of the Independent Schools Council - told the Times Educational Supplement.

"I think people will be able to directly access, Matrix-style, all the vocabulary you need for a foreign language."

Admiral Parry, who has a degree in History from a university located in the English marmalade heartland, is no stranger to technological futurism. Last year, in charge of a military thinktank, he warned of the danger to society posed by disgruntled middle-class flashmob rebels, perhaps equipped with brainchip telepathy and electropulse weapons.

Previously, he had suggested that the cradles of Western society might be "reverse colonised" and overrun by waves of migrants. Just as the Roman Empire was overwhelmed by the Goths, hinted Parry, so old Blighty might find itself submerged in a melange of alien cultural values perpetuated by newcomers permanently connected to their home cultures via cheap flights and the internet.

Few would argue with Parry regarding his condemnation of the damage done to Britain by the endless waves of Kiwi and Australian neo-barbarians we have seen in recent decades: but there are those who might see his timeline to Matrix brain download tech as a little optimistic.

"Within 30 years, sitting down and learning something will be a thing of the past," Parry told the TES.

Meanwhile, the combative ex-sailor and Falklands veteran* has courted a good deal of controversy since becoming a private-education honcho. His aspersions on state schools have had the corduroy unions up in arms. ®

Bootnote

*Then-Lieutenant Parry served as observer of HMS Antrim's helicopter in 1982. Most notably, he was involved in the expulsion of Argentine occupying forces from South Georgia, during which a party of SAS men were delivered onto the freezing Fortuna Glacier by helicopter - the idea being to attack from a totally unexpected direction, as the Argentines would never believe that anyone could survive such an approach.

As it turned out, they would almost have been right in this belief, as the SAS were compelled to call for rescue soon after arriving. After two helicopters had crashed attempting to get them out, HMS Antrim's Wessex managed to retrieve both the SAS and the downed aircrew. The pilot, Lt-Cdr Ian Stanley, won the DSO for this and Lt Parry was mentioned in dispatches. The pair were also involved in successful attacks on the Argentine submarine Santa Fe.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Bond villains lament as Wicked Lasers withdraw death ray
Want to arm that shark? Better get in there quick
Renewable energy 'simply WON'T WORK': Top Google engineers
Windmills, solar, tidal - all a 'false hope', say Stanford PhDs
SEX BEAST SEALS may be egging each other on to ATTACK PENGUINS
Boffin: 'I think the behaviour is increasing in frequency'
Reuse the Force, Luke: SpaceX's Elon Musk reveals X-WING designs
And a floating carrier for recyclable rockets
The next big thing in medical science: POO TRANSPLANTS
Your brother's gonna die, kid, unless we can give him your, well ...
NASA launches new climate model at SC14
75 days of supercomputing later ...
Britain's HUMAN DNA-strewing Moon mission rakes in £200k
3 days, and Kickstarter moves lander 37% nearer takeoff
Simon's says quantum computing will work
Boffins blast algorithm with half a dozen qubits
prev story

Whitepapers

Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
5 critical considerations for enterprise cloud backup
Key considerations when evaluating cloud backup solutions to ensure adequate protection security and availability of enterprise data.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.