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Yesterday my esteemed colleague kindly offered the Reg readership a place to pour out your hearts, and so you copiously did, proving once and for all what a deeply sad distressed bunch you are.

I invited you to gaze into the abyss, and it prompted some bewilderment as to the breakdown of the supposed acronym VOID... well, I can only tell you that it means whatever you want it to mean. What do you yourself see in those letters? Perhaps it is joy. Perhaps it is pain. Perhaps it is an overwhelming and ultimately damaging predilection for the literal. It is for you to decide.

But indeed you have entrusted me with your innermost, and true to my obligations I have looked up briefly from my real work in order to give it a cursory glance while affecting a concerned and caring demeanour. Shuffle closer, and I will endeavour to soothe your collective troubled noggin. Firstly, let us address that vast aforementioned conundrum...

According to Miyamoto Musashi, the Kensei, in his seminal work "Go Rin No Sho":

"In the void is virtue, and no evil. Wisdom has existence, principle has existence, the Way has existence, spirit is nothingness."

Should we therefore aspire to the state of void, where virtue is present but "evil" is not, where virtue thus becomes meaningless due to the absence of its opposite - or should we abstain from the void state, in order to allow virtue to have meaning?

Mike

Yes. Next.


Given that X=Y and the world is round, can you tell me if its a sin to put your socks on before putting on underpants? I come to this critical point every morning of my life and can not determine if putting socks on first will send me to hell or will open my eyes to a greater good of tackle in the wind with cosy feet.

Please Help!

Tom

Dear Tom - I always say that a real man need not concern himself with the sequence of his sock-donning. He must only be aware of when he must remove them. I think there is a real life lesson there. Good luck!


What do I want to be when I grow up?

Michael

Me. Although I'm afraid you have manifestly missed that boat. You can help me around the house, though. Start by shining my boots. No, put the cloth down. I need them to be really shiny.


Where does your lap go when you stand up?

Paul

I take it from you. Because you do not deserve it.


Given what goes on today (we read about most of it on here), would you say that society (and perhaps human nature) is self destructive?

If so, have a stab at explaining why.

Edward

Dear Edward - I find it interesting that you ask me to explain this to you, when the answer is already there in front of you. You've always known, haven't you? You just need to say it. It's OK. Take your time. Don't rush yourself. This is a pivotal moment in your personal development.

Oh look, I haven't got all day - it's all your fault, basically. You are what is wrong with society. And frankly I think it's way past time you sorted that shit out. Don't you?


Given that climate change is causing the world to experience more and more extreme weather, fossil fuels are running out, the world's population is spiralling out of control, the socio-political climate is causing food and energy prices to rise... why are hot dogs sold in packs of 10 while hot dog buns are sold in packs of eight?

Zargof

We all deserve a little treat, Zargof. And those two extra hot dogs are life's way of saying - go on. Eat a hot dog. Eat another hot dog. No one's looking. The ketchup's right there. You don't need a goddamn bun. Just wolf that sucker down. You deserve it. It's your world, baby. And it's a world of illicitly-scoffed reformed pork.

Either that, or we are adrift in a senseless universe where disharmony reigns and tasty but wrong snacks shall ever be askew. I don't know. Why are you asking me?


wy does evrey body critizie my spellng? and how do I gte thme to stpo?

michael

Its a prblome. You culd allways just tell them to goe fcku thm selfs.

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