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Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help

El Reg launches Agony Aunt service

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It's come to our attention that some of you have lost your way a little on this journey we call life, and are wandering aimlessly while attempting to answer the fundamentals of existence. How do I install a printer driver on Umbongo Linux? I'm hungry - should I order pizza or a bucket-'o-plumped-chicken-gizzards? If I have a shower, will women want to have sex with me?

Well, fret not, because help is at hand. Tomorrow, our famed comments Moderatrix will provide strict guidance for those of you struggling to cope. All you have to do is post your problem as a comment to this piece, and she will select the prime cuts for analysis.

There's just one simple ground rule: no submissions along the lines of "Why does windoze suck?", "I'm failing to grasp the IT angle on this one - can you help?" or "If I have a shower, will you have sex with me?". Remember - don't mess with the Moderatrix. ®

Bootnote

Please note that if your problem is that you find it hard to adequately express your thoughts in written form - ie, you're thick and semi-literate - we already have a handy cut-and-paste comments service to save you the bother of thinking for yourself. Carry on.

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