Feeds

Life a mess? The Moderatrix can help

El Reg launches Agony Aunt service

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

It's come to our attention that some of you have lost your way a little on this journey we call life, and are wandering aimlessly while attempting to answer the fundamentals of existence. How do I install a printer driver on Umbongo Linux? I'm hungry - should I order pizza or a bucket-'o-plumped-chicken-gizzards? If I have a shower, will women want to have sex with me?

Well, fret not, because help is at hand. Tomorrow, our famed comments Moderatrix will provide strict guidance for those of you struggling to cope. All you have to do is post your problem as a comment to this piece, and she will select the prime cuts for analysis.

There's just one simple ground rule: no submissions along the lines of "Why does windoze suck?", "I'm failing to grasp the IT angle on this one - can you help?" or "If I have a shower, will you have sex with me?". Remember - don't mess with the Moderatrix. ®

Bootnote

Please note that if your problem is that you find it hard to adequately express your thoughts in written form - ie, you're thick and semi-literate - we already have a handy cut-and-paste comments service to save you the bother of thinking for yourself. Carry on.

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.