Feeds

Shareholder sees golf as AMD cure all

Better than a kick in the tail

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Cash-strapped AMD didn't bother to tell investors how it plans to reorganize manufacturing operations and return to profitability during its annual shareholder meeting yesterday — but apparently nobody was concerned.

Far greater queries were afoot.

The chip maker faced only a single shareholder question during the Q&A segment of the investor event from a man who seized the opportunity for a 5-minute rant about why AMD should sponsor professional golf tournaments to help advertise CPUs to elderly gentlemen.

"I realize we are in what 'doom people' say is a recession. We have been through those a thousand times," said the man. "But even when you go through a recession, people still play golf. It's probably one of the most popular sports that guys my age . . . can do without breaking their necks. They don't get knocked to the ground like they do in football."

And it went on:

"I am raising the question whether or not it would be of any advantage to AMD to either attempt to sponsor something like that, you know, Dell builds a children hospital - I mean you hear it all the time about everybody else, and all I read about y'all is that you didn't get the Barcelona out on time. You know, a kick in the tail so to speak."

AMD's board listened patiently:

"Would it help this company . . . to get yourself before the public . . . I am just throwing it out to you while the board is here. Would it be of any advantage to you to try to get yourself before the public in a way that you have never done before. [Instead of] somebody reading in the paper that you didn't get the Barcelona out - AMD is sponsoring a golf championship."

Once again, this was the only questioned offered to AMD during the conference:

"Everyone loves the Champions Tour..."

CEO Hector Ruiz suddenly snaps back into consciousness:

"Thank you. First of all, there is no idea suggesting that it is not a good idea," said Ruiz. "We appreciate that you took the time to do it. There are members of the board and the management team that do play golf. We will take your suggestion seriously."

"Any more questions."

Six consecutive quarters operating at a loss, a massive workforce culling in progress, and no details about how things will change. There were no more questions.

So we at El Reg did some journalistic investigating into the matter and it turns out sponsoring a golf tournament is really F-ing expensive. Like, way more than five bucks, and since at last count AMD was in the hole some $358m, we'll go out on a limb and recommend against this course of action.

But so long as AMD is taking these sort of things "seriously," we offer the company a list of sports it could sponsor on a dime.

Any other suggestions to get AMD in front of an unfamiliar public and to stop all that damned Barcelona chatter? ®

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Win a year’s supply of chocolate
There is no techie angle to this competition so we're not going to pretend there is, but everyone loves chocolate so who cares.
Why cloud backup?
Combining the latest advancements in disk-based backup with secure, integrated, cloud technologies offer organizations fast and assured recovery of their critical enterprise data.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.