Feeds

Shareholder sees golf as AMD cure all

Better than a kick in the tail

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

Cash-strapped AMD didn't bother to tell investors how it plans to reorganize manufacturing operations and return to profitability during its annual shareholder meeting yesterday — but apparently nobody was concerned.

Far greater queries were afoot.

The chip maker faced only a single shareholder question during the Q&A segment of the investor event from a man who seized the opportunity for a 5-minute rant about why AMD should sponsor professional golf tournaments to help advertise CPUs to elderly gentlemen.

"I realize we are in what 'doom people' say is a recession. We have been through those a thousand times," said the man. "But even when you go through a recession, people still play golf. It's probably one of the most popular sports that guys my age . . . can do without breaking their necks. They don't get knocked to the ground like they do in football."

And it went on:

"I am raising the question whether or not it would be of any advantage to AMD to either attempt to sponsor something like that, you know, Dell builds a children hospital - I mean you hear it all the time about everybody else, and all I read about y'all is that you didn't get the Barcelona out on time. You know, a kick in the tail so to speak."

AMD's board listened patiently:

"Would it help this company . . . to get yourself before the public . . . I am just throwing it out to you while the board is here. Would it be of any advantage to you to try to get yourself before the public in a way that you have never done before. [Instead of] somebody reading in the paper that you didn't get the Barcelona out - AMD is sponsoring a golf championship."

Once again, this was the only questioned offered to AMD during the conference:

"Everyone loves the Champions Tour..."

CEO Hector Ruiz suddenly snaps back into consciousness:

"Thank you. First of all, there is no idea suggesting that it is not a good idea," said Ruiz. "We appreciate that you took the time to do it. There are members of the board and the management team that do play golf. We will take your suggestion seriously."

"Any more questions."

Six consecutive quarters operating at a loss, a massive workforce culling in progress, and no details about how things will change. There were no more questions.

So we at El Reg did some journalistic investigating into the matter and it turns out sponsoring a golf tournament is really F-ing expensive. Like, way more than five bucks, and since at last count AMD was in the hole some $358m, we'll go out on a limb and recommend against this course of action.

But so long as AMD is taking these sort of things "seriously," we offer the company a list of sports it could sponsor on a dime.

Any other suggestions to get AMD in front of an unfamiliar public and to stop all that damned Barcelona chatter? ®

Security for virtualized datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Facebook's Zuckerberg in EBOLA VIRUS FIGHT: Billionaire battles bug
US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention contacted as site supremo coughs up
Space exploration is just so lame. NEW APPS are mankind's future
We feel obliged to point out the headline statement is total, utter cobblers
Win a year’s supply of chocolate (no tech knowledge required)
Over £200 worth of the good stuff up for grabs
Down-under record: Australian gets $140k for pussy
'Tiffany' closes deal - 'it's more common to offer your wife', says agent
Internet finally ready to replace answering machine cassette tape
It's a simple message and I'm leaving out the whistles and bells
Swiss wildlife park serves up furry residents to visitors
'It's ecological' says spokesman, now how would you like your Bambi done?
The iPAD launch BEFORE it happened: SPECULATIVE GUFF ahead of actual event
Nerve-shattering run-up to the pre-planned known event
STONER SHEEP get the MUNCHIES after feasting on £4k worth of cannabis plants
Baaaaaa! Fanny's Farm's woolly flock is high, maaaaaan
FedEx helps deliver THOUSANDS of spam messages DIRECT to its Blighty customers
Don't worry Wilson, I'll do all the paddling. You just hang on
Red Bull does NOT give you wings, $13.5m lawsuit says so
Website letting consumers claim $10 cash back crashes after stampede
prev story

Whitepapers

Forging a new future with identity relationship management
Learn about ForgeRock's next generation IRM platform and how it is designed to empower CEOS's and enterprises to engage with consumers.
Cloud and hybrid-cloud data protection for VMware
Learn how quick and easy it is to configure backups and perform restores for VMware environments.
Three 1TB solid state scorchers up for grabs
Big SSDs can be expensive but think big and think free because you could be the lucky winner of one of three 1TB Samsung SSD 840 EVO drives that we’re giving away worth over £300 apiece.
Reg Reader Research: SaaS based Email and Office Productivity Tools
Read this Reg reader report which provides advice and guidance for SMBs towards the use of SaaS based email and Office productivity tools.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.