Shareholder sees golf as AMD cure all
Better than a kick in the tail
Cash-strapped AMD didn't bother to tell investors how it plans to reorganize manufacturing operations and return to profitability during its annual shareholder meeting yesterday — but apparently nobody was concerned.
Far greater queries were afoot.
The chip maker faced only a single shareholder question during the Q&A segment of the investor event from a man who seized the opportunity for a 5-minute rant about why AMD should sponsor professional golf tournaments to help advertise CPUs to elderly gentlemen.
"I realize we are in what 'doom people' say is a recession. We have been through those a thousand times," said the man. "But even when you go through a recession, people still play golf. It's probably one of the most popular sports that guys my age . . . can do without breaking their necks. They don't get knocked to the ground like they do in football."
And it went on:
"I am raising the question whether or not it would be of any advantage to AMD to either attempt to sponsor something like that, you know, Dell builds a children hospital - I mean you hear it all the time about everybody else, and all I read about y'all is that you didn't get the Barcelona out on time. You know, a kick in the tail so to speak."
AMD's board listened patiently:
"Would it help this company . . . to get yourself before the public . . . I am just throwing it out to you while the board is here. Would it be of any advantage to you to try to get yourself before the public in a way that you have never done before. [Instead of] somebody reading in the paper that you didn't get the Barcelona out - AMD is sponsoring a golf championship."
Once again, this was the only questioned offered to AMD during the conference:
"Everyone loves the Champions Tour..."
CEO Hector Ruiz suddenly snaps back into consciousness:
"Thank you. First of all, there is no idea suggesting that it is not a good idea," said Ruiz. "We appreciate that you took the time to do it. There are members of the board and the management team that do play golf. We will take your suggestion seriously."
"Any more questions."
Six consecutive quarters operating at a loss, a massive workforce culling in progress, and no details about how things will change. There were no more questions.
So we at El Reg did some journalistic investigating into the matter and it turns out sponsoring a golf tournament is really F-ing expensive. Like, way more than five bucks, and since at last count AMD was in the hole some $358m, we'll go out on a limb and recommend against this course of action.
But so long as AMD is taking these sort of things "seriously," we offer the company a list of sports it could sponsor on a dime.
- Chess Boxing
- World Championship Bog Snorkelling
- Competitive Eating
- Homeless World Cup
- World Marbles Championship
- Professional Cornholing
Any other suggestions to get AMD in front of an unfamiliar public and to stop all that damned Barcelona chatter? ®
your chip pin out
why have you abandoned the 940 socket..?
oops , were we not to ask real questions ?
mines the 939 jacket .
Get into France (hey, it's a huge market, they will soon need to replace their Minitel...), sponsor the Petanque tornament.
The target demography isn't that far from golf, and a lot more fun. The balls are bigger and a lot heavier which confer the advantage to throw them about 10m away. So far less to walk and lot more time to drink a (few) nice glass of Ricard.
Golf: 18 holes, 1 drink. Petanque: 1 runway, 18 drinks. Guess which I prefer.... (oops, am I getting old?)
@ David Wiernicki
Umm David, AMD are one of the middle tier sponsors of ferrari.
By middle tier i mean they are not mentioned in the team name (i.e Scuderia Ferrari Malboro), but they have space on the car, the race suit and the helmet (i think, im not 100% certain on the helmet) just like Shell.
So I think they already do slightly better then a winglet on a Force India, no?