Feeds

Why Microhoo! is like, so, totally dead

!!!!! and then, like, !!!!!!

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

Blog 0.2 Those of you au fait with my traditional morning ritual will know that I normally rise at 5.43am, dip an Indonesian virgin-thigh-rolled organic sesame seed crunch power bar into a cup of sea urchin and gauva infusion, do fifteen minutes Pilates, ensure my beachside condo is feng shui compliant before parsing the latest declaration from a besuited Beastmaster of Redmond currently jollying it up abroad.

Today, however, I'm trying a cup of decaf frappé Kupi Luwak, lovingly dusted with powdered Bolivian armadillo hide. Why? Because my choice comment cut this morning comes not from Bill Gates, but rather Craig Mundie, Microsoft's delicious chief of research and strategy.

Anyway, let's get straight down and dirty, so I can get back to my heavenly frappé. Speaking to Reuters in Indonesia, Mundie said: "The market may wish that the Yahoo deal may come back together, but Microsoft at least at this point assumes it's over."

Let me add something here: !!!!!!! No, wait: !!!!!!!!!! Seems like Mundie says Microsoft won't buy Yahoo (!!!!) at $37 a share, but then again: "Yahoo could always come back again and say please buy us for $33 (a share) and I'm sure we might reconsider it but we're not assuming that's going to happen."

!!!!! If you'll excuse me, all this excitement has made me quite faint and I need a quick nap before taking the dog for his boxaerobics class. Tune back in tomorrow - I guarantee the antioxidant effect of Brazilian jojoba and guaraná tea plus the very latest on Microhoo!!!!!! ®

Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst who regularly contributes to Cnet.

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
Happy 40th Playmobil: Reg looks back at small, rude world of our favourite tiny toys
Little men straddle LOHAN, attend tiny G20 Summit... ah, sweet memories...
prev story

Whitepapers

Mobile application security study
Download this report to see the alarming realities regarding the sheer number of applications vulnerable to attack, as well as the most common and easily addressable vulnerability errors.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.