Feeds

Why Microhoo! is like, so, totally dead

!!!!! and then, like, !!!!!!

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk

Blog 0.2 Those of you au fait with my traditional morning ritual will know that I normally rise at 5.43am, dip an Indonesian virgin-thigh-rolled organic sesame seed crunch power bar into a cup of sea urchin and gauva infusion, do fifteen minutes Pilates, ensure my beachside condo is feng shui compliant before parsing the latest declaration from a besuited Beastmaster of Redmond currently jollying it up abroad.

Today, however, I'm trying a cup of decaf frappé Kupi Luwak, lovingly dusted with powdered Bolivian armadillo hide. Why? Because my choice comment cut this morning comes not from Bill Gates, but rather Craig Mundie, Microsoft's delicious chief of research and strategy.

Anyway, let's get straight down and dirty, so I can get back to my heavenly frappé. Speaking to Reuters in Indonesia, Mundie said: "The market may wish that the Yahoo deal may come back together, but Microsoft at least at this point assumes it's over."

Let me add something here: !!!!!!! No, wait: !!!!!!!!!! Seems like Mundie says Microsoft won't buy Yahoo (!!!!) at $37 a share, but then again: "Yahoo could always come back again and say please buy us for $33 (a share) and I'm sure we might reconsider it but we're not assuming that's going to happen."

!!!!! If you'll excuse me, all this excitement has made me quite faint and I need a quick nap before taking the dog for his boxaerobics class. Tune back in tomorrow - I guarantee the antioxidant effect of Brazilian jojoba and guaraná tea plus the very latest on Microhoo!!!!!! ®

Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst who regularly contributes to Cnet.

Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile

More from The Register

next story
Are you a fat boy? Get to university NOW, you PENNILESS SLACKER
Rotund types paid nearly 20% less than people who didn't eat all the pies
Emma Watson should SHUT UP, all this abuse is HER OWN FAULT
... said an anon coward who we really wish hadn't posted on our website
Japan develops robot CHEERLEADERS which RIDE on BALLS
'Will put smiles on faces worldwide', predicts corporate PR chief
Bruges Booze tubes to pump LOVELY BEER underneath city
Belgian booze pumped from underground
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
Amazon: Wish in one hand, Twit in the other – see which one fills first
#AmazonWishList A year's supply of Arran scotch, ta
Let it go, Steve: Ballmer bans iPads from his LA Clippers b-ball team
Can you imagine the scene? 'Hey guys, it's your new owner – WTF is that on your desk?'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.