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Why Microhoo! is like, so, totally dead

!!!!! and then, like, !!!!!!

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Blog 0.2 Those of you au fait with my traditional morning ritual will know that I normally rise at 5.43am, dip an Indonesian virgin-thigh-rolled organic sesame seed crunch power bar into a cup of sea urchin and gauva infusion, do fifteen minutes Pilates, ensure my beachside condo is feng shui compliant before parsing the latest declaration from a besuited Beastmaster of Redmond currently jollying it up abroad.

Today, however, I'm trying a cup of decaf frappé Kupi Luwak, lovingly dusted with powdered Bolivian armadillo hide. Why? Because my choice comment cut this morning comes not from Bill Gates, but rather Craig Mundie, Microsoft's delicious chief of research and strategy.

Anyway, let's get straight down and dirty, so I can get back to my heavenly frappé. Speaking to Reuters in Indonesia, Mundie said: "The market may wish that the Yahoo deal may come back together, but Microsoft at least at this point assumes it's over."

Let me add something here: !!!!!!! No, wait: !!!!!!!!!! Seems like Mundie says Microsoft won't buy Yahoo (!!!!) at $37 a share, but then again: "Yahoo could always come back again and say please buy us for $33 (a share) and I'm sure we might reconsider it but we're not assuming that's going to happen."

!!!!! If you'll excuse me, all this excitement has made me quite faint and I need a quick nap before taking the dog for his boxaerobics class. Tune back in tomorrow - I guarantee the antioxidant effect of Brazilian jojoba and guaraná tea plus the very latest on Microhoo!!!!!! ®

Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst who regularly contributes to Cnet.

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