Feeds

Why Microhoo! is like, so, totally dead

!!!!! and then, like, !!!!!!

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

Blog 0.2 Those of you au fait with my traditional morning ritual will know that I normally rise at 5.43am, dip an Indonesian virgin-thigh-rolled organic sesame seed crunch power bar into a cup of sea urchin and gauva infusion, do fifteen minutes Pilates, ensure my beachside condo is feng shui compliant before parsing the latest declaration from a besuited Beastmaster of Redmond currently jollying it up abroad.

Today, however, I'm trying a cup of decaf frappé Kupi Luwak, lovingly dusted with powdered Bolivian armadillo hide. Why? Because my choice comment cut this morning comes not from Bill Gates, but rather Craig Mundie, Microsoft's delicious chief of research and strategy.

Anyway, let's get straight down and dirty, so I can get back to my heavenly frappé. Speaking to Reuters in Indonesia, Mundie said: "The market may wish that the Yahoo deal may come back together, but Microsoft at least at this point assumes it's over."

Let me add something here: !!!!!!! No, wait: !!!!!!!!!! Seems like Mundie says Microsoft won't buy Yahoo (!!!!) at $37 a share, but then again: "Yahoo could always come back again and say please buy us for $33 (a share) and I'm sure we might reconsider it but we're not assuming that's going to happen."

!!!!! If you'll excuse me, all this excitement has made me quite faint and I need a quick nap before taking the dog for his boxaerobics class. Tune back in tomorrow - I guarantee the antioxidant effect of Brazilian jojoba and guaraná tea plus the very latest on Microhoo!!!!!! ®

Nia Fired is a respected industry analyst who regularly contributes to Cnet.

Remote control for virtualized desktops

More from The Register

next story
Apple CEO Tim Cook: My well-known gayness is 'a gift from GOD'
'I have benefited from the sacrifice of others'
MEN: For pity's sake SLEEP with LOTS of WOMEN - and avoid Prostate Cancer
And, um, don't sleep with other men. If that's what worries you
Jim Beam me up, Scotty! WHISKY from SPAAACE returns to Earth
They're insured for $1m, before you thirsty folks make plans
Now: The REAL APPLE NEWS you need to know
OMG! Gravity's totes amazeballs. Calm down, George Clooney, not your film
Boffins who stare at goats: I do believe they’re SHRINKING
Alpine chamois being squashed by global warming
Let's make an app that POSTS your POO to APPLE HQ
Plus: It's OPEN WARFARE in the Linux greybeard world
Adorkable overshare of words like photobomb in this year's dictionaries
And hipsters are finally defined as self-loathing. Sort of
Not a loyal follower of @BritishMonarchy? You missed The QUEEN*'s first Tweet
Her Maj opens 'Information Age' at the Science Museum
prev story

Whitepapers

Why and how to choose the right cloud vendor
The benefits of cloud-based storage in your processes. Eliminate onsite, disk-based backup and archiving in favor of cloud-based data protection.
A strategic approach to identity relationship management
ForgeRock commissioned Forrester to evaluate companies’ IAM practices and requirements when it comes to customer-facing scenarios versus employee-facing ones.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Top 5 reasons to deploy VMware with Tegile
Data demand and the rise of virtualization is challenging IT teams to deliver storage performance, scalability and capacity that can keep up, while maximizing efficiency.
Mitigating web security risk with SSL certificates
Web-based systems are essential tools for running business processes and delivering services to customers.