3 paragraphs of facts (#3 is already spreading things a bit thin), and then 8 paragraphs of speculation, conjecture, and waffle. In fact the recognition of specific vintages is pie in the sky, never mind recognition of people, because of the way the sense of smell works - one chemical, one receptor. I'd suggest a proof of concept first - a boff detector. If that works, next up would be a bullshit detector.

My computer's got no nose!

...the added threat of my iSniff not only being hacked during uploading but now picking up a case of The Sniffles on the tube or being crocked with allergies two months out of every summer.

I don't want to reach into my jacket pocket for my hi-tek toy only to get a handfull of iSnot.

Something Must Be Done.

Might there be some money in producing a little gadget that, when placed down-wind of that lovely lass at the bar, could tell you that she is (a) sexually excited, (b) has not "been with" anyone recently, (c) is on the pill, and (d) is thirsty?

(Sorry, can't resist)

How does it smell then?

El Reg writers must be pretty bored to dress up the article with bad puns and interesting terms. Such keeps bringing me back, for some odd reason. :)

Mine's the one with "Pongware" on the back.

Once you've had a few beers such measurements are pointless.... you're going to hit on her anyway.

To make the big money they just need to make some link to global warming and the government agencies will buy it.

...for warranty service, do you send it back to the ol' factory?

My coat's the one, cringing in the corner, pretending not to know me.