Residents on the Greek island of Lesbos have declared that they alone have the right to call themselves lesbians, and yesterday launched a legal action against the Greek Gay and Lesbian Union (Olke) designed to wrest back control of the word from aficionados of Sapphic luuurv.

Local activist Dimitris Lambrou states in his complaint that the "seizure" of the island's name is responsible for the "psychological and moral rape" of true lesbians, and reckons the case will come before an Athens court in June.

Olke spokesperson Evangelia Vlam counterattacked with: "This affair is totally ridiculous. But if we are summoned by the courts, we will be heard."

Agreed. We at El Reg would like to suggest a compromise: Greek lesbians in future call themselves Sapphists; True lesbians call themselves Mytilenians, after the capital Mytilene - the name commonly used in Greece for the name of the whole island; and extra-Grecian lesbians beyond the reach of the country's legal system continue to use lesbian with gay abandon except when holidaying on Mytilene's popular lesbian Sapphic holiday resort of Eressos. Sorted. ®

Related stories

Lesbos climax as lesbians lick Lesbians (23 July 2008)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/07/23/lesbos_court_ruling/
Independent dubs El Reg lesbian (6 May 2008)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/06/indy_reg/
The battle of Lesbos: Exclusive combat pic (2 May 2008)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2008/05/02/battle_of_lesbos/
Singapore allows sale of 'lesbian' video game (19 November 2007)
http://www.reghardware.co.uk/2007/11/19/mass_effect_ban_lifited/
BBC pulls plug on Dalek lesbian romp flick (28 November 2005)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/11/28/dalek_film/
Harvard Man in lesbian mix-up wants satire clearly labeled (17 January 2005)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2005/01/17/podcast_drag_queen_confusion/
Aussie boffins probe lesbian cows (3 September 2004)
http://www.theregister.co.uk/2004/09/03/lesbian_cows/