Feeds

Monroe BJ film - world exclusive still

Happy birthday, Mr President?

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

NSFW The news earlier today that a New York businessman stumped $1.5m for a 15 minute film apparently showing Marilyn Monroe administering oral pleasure to JFK provoked a veritable speculationfest as to what exactly the footage contained.

It is, therefore, with very great satisfaction that we can now reveal the shocking truth, having ourselves paid one "Deep Throat" - rumoured to be the nephew of J Edgar Hoover's dressmaker - 30 grand in used fivers to provide a grainy still from the vintage grumble flick:

World exclusive still from Monroe BJ film

As you can see, the identity of the BJ recipient is indeed hidden, so whether the prez himself was indeed the lucky fella will remain a mystery. However, a shock revelation is the presence in the background of Hoover himself, dressed in one of Marilyn's diaphanous flower-print silk blouses and French lingerie sets while operating what appears to be a 16mm cine camera.

The revelation that Hoover was in fact a "second cameraman", concealed behind a strategically-placed pot plant to capture the action will only add to rumours that the FBI knows the full, outrageous truth of the relationship between Monroe and Kennedy and used this to blackmail the former into taking an overdose of barbiturates in 1962 and the latter into shooting himself by radio-controlled sniper's rifle in Dallas in 1963. ®

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

More from The Register

next story
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
prev story

Whitepapers

Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
Protecting users from Firesheep and other Sidejacking attacks with SSL
Discussing the vulnerabilities inherent in Wi-Fi networks, and how using TLS/SSL for your entire site will assure security.
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.