Swedish lag's wooden todgers fail to impress
Going-away prezzies not well received by female prison staff
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A 58-year-old Swedish man who thoughtfully left carved wooden phalluses as going-away presents for female staff on his release from chokey has been fined for his trouble, the Borås Tidning reports.
The unnamed former lag did a short spell in Smälteryd correctional facility outside of Borås in central Sweden back in 2003. To express his appreciation at the hospitality, he deposited several "packages" at the main desk on his way out of the door, along with a note hoping the contents "would be put to good use".
The recipients, however, were "not inclined to take advantage of the wooden phalluses and instead reported the matter to police".
Fast forward to an appearance before Borås district court, where his defence lawyer argued that “in today’s society wooden sticks and letters cannot be considered morally objectionable, in any case not in a correctional facility environment".
The powers that be disgreed, and slapped the amateur woodcarver with an 1800 kronor (£194, €241, US$382, 1,205 Malaysia ringgits) penalty for "sexual molestation". ®
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COMMENTS
@GrahamT
I think it was for putting intricately carved wooden Euros into the pay-as-you-watch porno machines !!
Bad pun alert
So what was he originally dildoing time for?
The grey one with the arrows, please
err
"The recipients, however, were "not inclined to take advantage of the wooden phalluses and instead reported the matter to police"."
So, how come he was charged with sexual molestation then ? Surely "suggestion to self-inflict sexual molestation" would be more appropriate ?
tsk tsk tsk...
From a Health & Safety pov however, there could have been some nasty splinters - so probably as well to return them.

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