where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards

You asked for it.

to sell my kids into slavery last time! AND YOU DIDN'T YOU BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Their still there, leaching off my wallet, lounging in MY chair, eating me out of house & home and drinking my beer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You did, you PROMISED!!!!!!

New Reg readers in no-sense-of-humour shocker! Youtube videos of people *not having fun* within!

As the old saying goes, "Fuck'em if they can't take a joke."

Couldn't help myself.

Where's the Paris Hilton angle?

I also get furious when I find sport in my newspaper. Luckily the particular broadsheet I read quarentines it away from the real news in an easy to thow-away section.

Immediate disposal of this item in an exaggerated and public manner is a great way of attracting women, I have found, who understandably are suspicious of men who immediately (on seeing a headline on the front page suggesting we are all goig to die within the next fifteen minutes or that hemlines are going down again this year) immediately scan through the paper to find the pictures of fit men in shorts.

As for bootnotes? Well, although it can be blocked with a simple proxy rule I have yet to find a way of using this technique to attract members of the opposite sex.

...am disappointed at the lack of NSFW content in this article, given the nice red NSFW tag.

...but I did like "fucktards"; keep up the good work!

Sir,

I can only find one direct reference to sex, and one swearword. If that now means that these sort of articles should be classed as NSFW, then The Register shall be removed from my etc etc etc, fought in 4 world wars, grumble, grumble, old tyres for shoes, 85 miles to school in winter, mutter...don't know they were born.

Sincerely,

Col Reginald Mutterington-Oldfart (Rtd), 1st CannonFodder Rifles

Tunbridge Wells

"Cue a (very polite, I hasten to add) email..."

Oh good grief! Here we go again!

I, for one, welcome our animal fancying, orifice buzzing, nipple festooned, lego-based overlords!

Well played..

... but where's the love?

sorry for the caps, but

/cheer!

I have nothing more to say.. if you don't like it, don't read it.

PS. Fucktards was coined by me over a year ago, and I demand royalties ;)

PPS. I am now putting together a "Motivation Poster", so fasionable these days, of a Monolith with the caption "The Internet: My God! It's full of tards!"

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!

Only kidding, keep up the good work :)

<ouch>Stop that!<grrngg>

put me down! I didn't mean it

<whimper>

Help!

It's ironic really - the football pages are quite funny atr the moment thanks to Liverpool having a board or directors that loathe each other, you'd probably enjoy ready the footy section today.

Or remember this classic photo of Ashley Cole in the sports pages:

http://img264.echo.cx/img264/7297/ashleycole7ae.jpg

I'm shocked that there is a possibility that my crack-den might be turned into a house and given to a white, english, indigenous native of these islands.

At least wait until we've finished our roast swans & the football section.

The icon says it all, really.

where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards!!

Oh. Chuck Norris, you say? Deeply sorry, old chap, I, er, thought I was on Slashdot...

... tell us what will really happen to the first 'where's the IT angle' poster.

Paris, because she doesn't have a bush to beat around.

Where the f@ck is the fokking IT angle.....

(ear cocked, waiting for black helicopters and sound of CN coming down zip line to dispense said justice....)

Paris because she always changes ITs angle.......

I'll get me dribble-proof mac...

Good on you, I am sick and tired of posts with an IT angle...

I don't work in this industry to want to read about it :p

I personally find it utterly ridiculous that a well respected source of informative and entertaining current affairs such as "TheRegister.com" should find it necessary to engage it's formidable phalanx of mental power in constructing an article which pandered to the whining content-nazis (and yes I am aware of Godwin's Law and believe that it too was invented by the same people who continually complain and use the comments page for vitriolic and non-sensical rants which seem to meander on and on and on and never actually come to a conclusion or indeed a sensible point and ignore any form of grammar or punctuation except where totally inappropriate and fill up valuable space on "TheRegister.com"'s servers and I just have to ask myself why oh why oh why can't there be some sensible IT oriented content on demand when I want it now I want it now give it to me now. I am now thoroughly disgusted and my bookmarks will be 0.5kb (approx.) lighter.

Do you think you could mabey not include all the rude naughty bits in the RSS feed sumary. I'm luck at my place as i don't use the proxy but i guess thats not the case everywhere?

Anyway, bootnotes, I love bootnotes!

They're the main reason I read The Reg!

> first person to post [the obvious] will be banned for life from these pages

And what's the second prize in this competition? Banned for 2 lives?

Another piece where Lester Haines gets in a mood and decides to use the new El Reg blog service to go after critics. Soon Haines will do a Dawkins and release a book slamming everyone who disagreed over the last so many years... the IT Delusion perhaps? Not as snappy a title, of course, but I'm no writer.

That has to be the best idea I've heard all week.

I'll have one when you're done!

Well! Someone never got a chance to go out for the traditional Friday liquid lunch this afternoon.

Meetings all day, eh Lester?

the way this new reaches us. So i for one have no complaints.

As for the Paris Hilton angle, my mind is always there.

Haaaaaaaarrrrumphhh, <clears throat twice for good measure and adopts a really deep gravelly voice before booming> I didn't fight in two world wars just to sit here typing, "I didn't fight in two world wars".

No really, I didn't fight in two world wars. I'm all about peace and love, and really bad eggs, and the pictures of sweet Paris. Such a lovely city.

RE: those picking up on NSFW. Unless you've a browser from the dark ages you might have noticed the dotted line underneath the abbreviation NSFW indicating in this case "Not Suitable for Whiners". It's a joke... in Bootnotes... whatever next!

On this side of the pond, we prefer to refer to this sites address as "theregister.co.uk"

Give me more titillation please, compooters are booring!

J

Took me three weeks to realise that this was *supposed* to be an IT site... first thing I ever read on Le Reg was a BOFH piece back in '06.

Paris, cos she prolly doesn't know either.

Nice! Once I get home I'll be on the old photoshop knocking one out!

Paris, cos she knows how to knock one out...

SO Fucktards was YOUR fault.

It should be fuckards - this works much better; try:

"Fuck the fucking fuckards/fucktards" - the first rolls off the tongue so much more easily.

Of course, nothing can beat "fuck the fucking fuckers"

Linux Penguin - because he's the fucking greatest.

Where is the Paris nip slip???

Paris cause you have never seen enough of her nips.

sorry someone I know has been using it since at least 2003. expect the writ in the post.

Couldn't give a fuck about the lack if IT angle, but I would like to object strongly to this line

<quote> "people banging on and on and on and on and on"

Who exactly are these people, and how come they are able to bang so much when I'm lucky if I can get it once a month, in summer only!

C'mon Reg, respect the fact that some readers are less fortunate than others in the banging department, no need to rub our noses in it.

Paris, because she knows a lot about banging and if she'd care to come and teach me I'd willingly defend her honour against the army of El Reg fucktards who maliciously malign her.

In the corner with Paris probably...

The word Bootnotes makes me think of Bootcamps

Bootcamps ---->Jackboots

Jackboots -----> Nazi goose-stepping

Nazi goose-stepping -----> where's the Max Mosely icon?

Lester, I thank you from the bottom of my heart for enlightening me to that fact that I am not the only human male in the UK who finds football (soccer for our NA allies) dull, boring and a pointless waste of truly vast sums of money. At least in Rugby & American Football there is some form of manly violence rather than the airyfairy prancings of a bunch of overpaid wimps who fall over as soon as their bootlace contacts something. That said I'd rather watch

Some friends and I came up with an excellent theory many years ago w.r.t. the nature of collective intelligence. To whit, intelligence is combined the same as resistors in parallel. Take 2 people with IQ's of 120 each and their combined IQ drops to 60. for 3 such people the combined IQ is 40 and so on. This explains the stupidity of gang behaviour and a great many other thing sin life. So, you can probably see that the combined IQ of a full football stadium so closely approaches 1 as to be all but indistinguishable. :-)

As for the non-IT content,....who cares. I've spent all week IT-ing and all I need now is my weekly dose of BOFH and I can go home happy!

Merry Weekend everyone!

The red dots actually show Not Safe for Whiners

http://groups.google.com/groups?q=fucktard&start=93900&scoring=d

First occurence of 'fucktard' on Usenet, 1996

First use as an insult, 1999

Sorry Steve...

I remember, a bit hazy now I admit, over 20 years ago in fact, my most delightful and adventourous elder of my two little sisters screaming around the corner to pull up outside our house in a "new" (new to her most certainly - but not new to the road or the MOT station) car, screeching to an abrupt halt, hocking the bonnet catch, jumping out diving into the engine bay and banging the top of something (fuel inlets? carb? I dunno, I only drive 'em) with a hammer until the revs died.

"Ello sis, what's up?" her older brother (me) enquired.

"The fucking fucker's fucking fucked" she yelled, kicked the grill and slammed the bonnet back down.

Its about time you stood up to the whinging 70's wearing knitted waistcoat It geek crowd.

If you can't have a bit of fun at the end of the day in IT, where would you be?

IT in Germany, correctomongo.

Lester, you're of our breed - so to speak. Can you imagine how glad I am that England didn't make it to the Euro2008? It's going to be much calmer here than if they competed in the championship.

Who cares about an IT angle if at least we do not hear anything about football?

The bulletproof jacket please. And anon for obvious reason.

www.despair.com

No reference to fucktards I admit but plenty of close ones: http://www.despair.com/idiocy.html is pretty close though.

i don't even work in IT, so it's just the boot notes i read anyway. You sysadmin types can keep you podloading and bytecasting and whatnot.

i'll stick to Bulgarian airbags and Polish people cleaning their undercrackers with Henry the hoover.

Nice one Lester. (and get back to work Sarah!)

...and I still love El Reg.

How else would I stock up on hilarious stories to tell at the bar later on? I could scour the interwebs for gems like the Bulgarian Airbag Incident, or I could let someone else filter through all that, and just read the comically enhanced versions.

So I think I'd have to delete my reg bookmark (well, I'd close the tab that stays open all the time) if they stuck to 100% IT news. Especially on Fridays.

"Yes. What's your point?"

Decorators in, are they?

iTard. You know all those people who walk around with their iPhone in their hand tapping it and waving to make sure you notice so they can feel like they got their $400 worth or assuming you can't afford one so they must be cooler. As is it's impossible someone just doesn't one one until it is up to spec and lower in price.

Opps I guess I should have saved this rant for the next apple iphone story...

there - let me know when I get to the god that is Chuck Norris!

it'll be worth it.... *ouch*!!

Stuff an individual article, what do *you* have to do with IT Lester??

I filtered out that category and now all I've got is recycled BBC news stories :).

Every reasonable paper (even such things as _The Wall Street Journal_) have comics. They are part of life. We all need comedy relief from the drudge of daily life. What is life but to live it! In the beginning, one of the primary reasons for my reading of ElReg was to get a weekly dose of BOFH. Now actually, I find out things quicker than the local paper for lots of IT related things. There is always a mixture of stories that the public hears, and the mix here is one of the best as it relates to IT things. So, keep up the comedy relief, and when there is a knock-down drag-out fight between Naomi Campbell, and Paris Hilton, supply the pictures. Who cares about the IT angle. To quote a movie: "All jocks think about is sports, but all nerds think about is sex".

Happy Friday to all.

The "I hate this, stop it immediately" appears to be a more apparant on the Internet.

I've seen this before in forums, and comments about websites and other things. Users, readers, commentators and other third parties seem quite happy to attack those who put the effort in to create Internet content for it not being quite what they wanted.

For some reason they seem to believe that websites are public ownership, and that the creators and mediators need to conform to some rules defined by the readership. I've heard of websites being threatened under Freedom of Speech legislation for removing comments just because they were about something other than what the owner of the website wanted.

I wonder if it stems from the "I want the world this way - you must make it so" kind of attitude we live in today. Everything you want, you can have just by demanding. I'm sick of it.

So if El-reg wants to write about Italian goat herders sucking on black New Zealand ummm things - then bloody well shut the f**k up. If you don't like it, piss off to somewhere else.

Rant over! Set the main sail and head for open water Lester and co!

Hmm.. we used this word when I was in grade school.. and even then it didn't seem all that new.. that would be 1987-1988 time period. I'm guessing that there has long been an intersection between those who are fuckers and those who are retards, and while fucking retards has a certain appeal to it, it is pretty easy to make the jump to fucktards. I would guess this probably happened in the 60's or 70's.. but even then I could be wrong; it could have been earlier.

And if somebody doesn't like it tough shit.

But the whole I.T. world is waiting for a 'Where's the Britney Spears angle' icon, it's hard to do without.

Please

This comment has got me wondering whether "IT angle tossers" are some kind of specialised type of cricket bowlers and if so what angle the IT angle would be.

Lester may now write as many non-IT articles he likes. Not that he gives a flying fuck what permissions I give, but still.

It reminds of of a time, not too long ago, that the bulk of a main news cast was about an 'incident' in football. And, now for the sport. Which was about the same incident in the same game and fuck all else. BBC if I remember correctly.

Is it just me who has noticed that footballers are very fit and nimble, what with all the somersaults and stuff they do when they score.

Why isn't ballet more popular? They're better at all that stuff.

And since when was a person running down a pitch exciting. Commentators, calm the fuck down. You are acting like tossers.

And, more importantly:

What _IS_ the Paris angle anyway? I'm curious. Very curious.

Anyone have the video?

and I didn't dodge snipers and invent the civil rights movement to read this sort of crap. And I dare ya to sell Chelsea off into slavery...and I bet you can't get a red cent for Bill. :P

But I think the whiners have one valid point - the bootnote 'nipple slip' headlines do end up on the front page, whether you read them or not. Perhaps the El Reg Elves could whump up a parallel bootnote-headline free version of the front page and those with a delicate disposition (or inquisitive boss) could opt for it via a cookie?

Chuck Norris is capable of roundhouse-kicking El Reg justice from anywhere to anywhere in the world, no delivery service is required.

I read El Reg since 2000, when the BOFH set up shop over here. Of course I like to read Bootnotes, and get a good laughing on them, especially on a Friday!

Ah, never mind...

... it's Phucktards ... it may sound the same, but it's a whole lot more phun to pronounce when you're stuck in Paris.

<--- Duh.

我没有战斗在二次世界大战中读这胡扯在记数器, 它并且您是在我的书签外面永远您fucktards.

Oooooh, we LOVE it when you get all feisty ;)

Sir,

In addition to all of the above, your punctuation is abominable ! May I recommend Linda Truss's book - Eats, shoots and leaves !! As a punishment, you WILL punctuate this -

woman without her man is lost

Willie Ap Uranus

1. Don't mess with Sarah Bee unless you just like pain.

2. IT angles are everywhere you're reading it on a website asshat there's your IT angle. BTW I can't tell what ITs angle is (it's really cold in here).

If you dare stop publishing these arbitrary stories, I shall never read them on your site again. That is a promise, sirs and madmen.

Woman: Without her, man is lost.

I was both saddened and dismayed that the news snippet I emailed el reg about the Japanese porno being made in MacDonalds burger (and now apparently sausages) restaurant was not added to bootnote.

There is FAR too much IT on this webshite. I henceforth withdraw my patronage and you shall now lose...err....erm...actually what do you lose? A drinking partner?

Oh sod it. Just post eee girl again she cheers me up no end.

If anybody ever wonder where the IT angle is just remember due to the nature of angles....they're all around us

mines the one at 90º

Paris cause she spends most of her life at 180º and the rest in degrees of stupidity

Where's the Lester angle, eh? I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my shrine for good you lestard!

I'm sorry lester, I didn't mean it.. its just everyone else was doing it.. and you never reply to my calls, and theres robots in the US army, and WE NEED ANOTHER HERO </sing>

For any and all of those that have ever actually dared to inquire "Where's the IT angle?", I posit this tidbit of wisdom from my mentor;

"In today's world, with the proliferation of WiFi, and satellites transmitting the internet to every nook and cranny of the globe, every person on Earth now has porn passing through their body, 24/7." - Dhamma Absu

Dunno why, but I get the warm fuzzies just thinking about it, the Ultimate IT Angle!

Where's the flesh-toned IT curve?

Woman, without her man, is lost.

I remember the days when Bootnotes was all about incendiary bendy buses, exploding toilets and demented traffic cones. Life was so much simpler back in those days.

Probably the fucking distributor cap. That's my fucking guess.

AS stated above, although I must say that the shocking lack of manners on th e content-Nazi's should be an affront to El Reg.

Also, where's the follow-up article (promised ) on Bulgarian Airbags and the El Reg Soviet standards thereof?

I didn't miss out on two world wars and traverse 4 'klicks in knee deep snow to log on and fiund out that there is a paucity of NSFW articles.......

Go Lester Go......

Since hearing the word fucktard in common usage I have often wondered where it originated. I may have heard it before the winter of 1998, but if I did I suppressed that memory.

I was in the cold high desert of 29Palms, California setting up a encrypted tunnel over a satellite shot to a Marine Air Wing command post. They kept keying their equipment with wrong keys prompting me to slam down the green phone and attempt to yell "Fucking Retards" I was so angry that it came out "Fuck*sputter*Tards" to which my CO and SNCOIC ran into the tent wondering why I would yell FuckTards.

That same exercise spawned the word fuckulate in the form unfuckulate. Usage is:

"Sure the tunnel will come up and we'll get logistics data as soon as I unfuckulate their router configs."

BSD style license applies to both. Use them often I could fucking care less.

...then I will

http://www.b3ta.com/board/8283480

Image provided. Larger resolutions provided on request.

> How's the weather in the 1950s?

You're starting to forget? It's the little things at first, like, 'what happened in the last 50 years?', next you'll be losing the keys and then returning home in a panic, when you're halfway to work, to feed a cat you've forgotten you don't have.

At least you're lucky enough to live in an age when Terry P is making huge donations to research treatments, so you might be lucky.

Best advice I heard for anyone getting on a bit and starting to lose their memory is "put stannah on speed dial before you forget"

1998? I was saying it at school in the early 90s, and we hadn't made it up outselves.

Re: the actual article: hooray. Perhaps relevant to the whole of Odds and Sods instead of just Bootnotes, but humour is definitely a welcome part of El Reg. Sarah-Bee-style metaphorical cold ones all round.

Your bloody toaster has a computer in it. And they had to use one to write the article, and so on and so forth. You can't get away from the IT angle any more.

Why can't I click more than one icon? I didn't fight in two world wars to be limited in this way. Come to think of it, I didn't fight in *any* world wars...

ah did a jobby in ma pants