Feeds

No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

Fridays: A warning from history

Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction

NSFW It's come to our attention that, while having provided years and years and years of non-IT-related merriment for you, our beloved readers, our Bootnotes section continues, despite containing headlines such as "NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow", "Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog" and indeed "Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice" combined with relentless coverage of battling Streatham clotheshorses, highly-talented heiresses' amateur grumble flicks and Playmobil reconstructions of outrages at Heathrow's T5, to prove problematic for a small minority of our international audience.

Specifically, we are still getting people banging on and on and on and on and on about the lack of IT angle in some stories, repeatedly demanding "What is this doing on The Register?" and indeed intoning the tired old mantra of "I personally am not interested in reading this kind of material, so don't publish any more or I will remove you from my bookmarks - permanently".

However, and before you start imagining this is about to turn into a broadside against these whiners, please note that we're not entirely unsympathetic.

I for one am not much interested in football. To my dismay, I recently opened a copy of a well-known UK broadsheet to find it had dedicated several pages to this sport and which otherwise might have been put over to subjects more to my liking.

Cue a (very polite, I hasten to add) email to the editor of the organ in question, suggesting he in future can coverage of The Champions League and carry instead more Paris Hilton nipslip exclusives, and so forth. He quickly replied: "I'm sorry to hear you don't like our football coverage, but might I suggest that you therefore in future stay out of the bit of the paper headed 'Football'? Now please go away or I will call the police."

Well, despite the abrasive tone of his conclusion, it's hard to question the advice. And so it is in that spirit that we pass our own advice on to you - when browsing the Reg, the section you want to avoid is Bootnotes, above all on a Friday. Thank you. ®

Bootnote

As is the local custom, we'd like to warn readers that the first person to post a "where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards" comment will be banned for life from these pages, his or her family sold into slavery, his or her house reposessed and converted into a crack den for swan-roasting immigrants and he or she sent packed in a crate to Chuck Norris for some roundhouse-kicking El Reg justice. Just so you know...

Top three mobile application threats

More from The Register

next story
Och aye! It's the Loch Ness Monster – but only Apple fanbois can see it
Fondleslab-friendly beastie's wake spotted... OR WAS IT?
Japanese boffin EYES up big bucks with strap-on digi-glasses
AgencyGlass saddles user with creepy OLED display
Sleuths find nosy NORKS drones on the Chinternet
UAVs likely to have been made in the Middle Kingdom
Spanish village called 'Kill the Jews' mulls rebranding exercise
Not exactly attractive to the Israeli tourist demographic
Dorian Nakamoto gets $23,000 payout over Bitcoin invention saga
Maintains he didn't create cryptocurrency, but will join community
Pirate Bay's 10 millionth upload: Colour us shocked, a SMUT FLICK
P2P badboys show online piracy is alive and humping
Teen girl arrested with 70-year-old man's four inch weapon inside her
Charged with introducing .22 snubbie to penile facility. It wasn't firing blanks
Oz bank in comedy Heartbleed blog FAIL
Bank: 'We are now safely patched.' Customers: 'You were using OpenSSL?'
Forget the beach 'n' boardwalk, check out the Santa Cruz STEVE JOBS FOUNTAIN
Reg reader snaps shot of touching tribute to Apple icon
prev story

Whitepapers

Securing web applications made simple and scalable
In this whitepaper learn how automated security testing can provide a simple and scalable way to protect your web applications.
3 Big data security analytics techniques
Applying these Big Data security analytics techniques can help you make your business safer by detecting attacks early, before significant damage is done.
The benefits of software based PBX
Why you should break free from your proprietary PBX and how to leverage your existing server hardware.
Mainstay ROI - Does application security pay?
In this whitepaper learn how you and your enterprise might benefit from better software security.
Combat fraud and increase customer satisfaction
Based on their experience using HP ArcSight Enterprise Security Manager for IT security operations, Finansbank moved to HP ArcSight ESM for fraud management.