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No sense of humour? Avoid Bootnotes

Fridays: A warning from history

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

NSFW It's come to our attention that, while having provided years and years and years of non-IT-related merriment for you, our beloved readers, our Bootnotes section continues, despite containing headlines such as "NZ finds Black Cocks hard to swallow", "Witchdoctor orders Serb to have sex with hedgehog" and indeed "Woman gets mobile phone stuck up back orifice" combined with relentless coverage of battling Streatham clotheshorses, highly-talented heiresses' amateur grumble flicks and Playmobil reconstructions of outrages at Heathrow's T5, to prove problematic for a small minority of our international audience.

Specifically, we are still getting people banging on and on and on and on and on about the lack of IT angle in some stories, repeatedly demanding "What is this doing on The Register?" and indeed intoning the tired old mantra of "I personally am not interested in reading this kind of material, so don't publish any more or I will remove you from my bookmarks - permanently".

However, and before you start imagining this is about to turn into a broadside against these whiners, please note that we're not entirely unsympathetic.

I for one am not much interested in football. To my dismay, I recently opened a copy of a well-known UK broadsheet to find it had dedicated several pages to this sport and which otherwise might have been put over to subjects more to my liking.

Cue a (very polite, I hasten to add) email to the editor of the organ in question, suggesting he in future can coverage of The Champions League and carry instead more Paris Hilton nipslip exclusives, and so forth. He quickly replied: "I'm sorry to hear you don't like our football coverage, but might I suggest that you therefore in future stay out of the bit of the paper headed 'Football'? Now please go away or I will call the police."

Well, despite the abrasive tone of his conclusion, it's hard to question the advice. And so it is in that spirit that we pass our own advice on to you - when browsing the Reg, the section you want to avoid is Bootnotes, above all on a Friday. Thank you. ®

Bootnote

As is the local custom, we'd like to warn readers that the first person to post a "where's the IT angle, eh, I didn't fight in two world wars to read this kind of crap on the register, any more of it and you're out of my bookmarks for good you fucktards" comment will be banned for life from these pages, his or her family sold into slavery, his or her house reposessed and converted into a crack den for swan-roasting immigrants and he or she sent packed in a crate to Chuck Norris for some roundhouse-kicking El Reg justice. Just so you know...

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