Feeds

US student planned to ice Chuck Norris

Hit list names man who 'can slam a revolving door'

Choosing a cloud hosting partner with confidence

A New Jersey high school student has been suspended for allegedly drawing up a hit list which included the names of "three students and a school administrator" and, rather ill-advisedly, roundhouse-kicking death machine Chuck Norris.

According to the Philadephia Inquirer, the unnamed Pennsauken High School 16-year-old was arrested and charged with "making terroristic threats" after a teacher discovered the list. Pennsauken police "found no weapons on the student or in his locker", a school statement explained, and he was subsequently released to his parents.

The suspension was part of a "zero-tolerance" crackdown on bad behaviour in the school on Tuesday, which also saw 14 other ne'er-do-wells out on their ears for a range of offences. A spokeswoman said: "The kids will not be allowed to take control of the building. It's getting to the point where it's an embarrassment."

The hit list teen will remain suspended pending a disciplinary hearing, and may be expelled. ®

Bootnote

Yes, we know what you're thinking. Since Chuck Norris is "an outspoken advocate of building discipline in high schools by teaching students karate", why doesn't Pennsauken High School simply call in the man who "destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise" to restore order?

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Oz carrier Tiger Air takes terror alerts to new heights
Don't doodle, it might cost you your flight
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Oi, London thief. We KNOW what you're doing - our PRECRIME system warned us
Aye, shipmate, it be just like that Minority Report
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.