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US student planned to ice Chuck Norris

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A New Jersey high school student has been suspended for allegedly drawing up a hit list which included the names of "three students and a school administrator" and, rather ill-advisedly, roundhouse-kicking death machine Chuck Norris.

According to the Philadephia Inquirer, the unnamed Pennsauken High School 16-year-old was arrested and charged with "making terroristic threats" after a teacher discovered the list. Pennsauken police "found no weapons on the student or in his locker", a school statement explained, and he was subsequently released to his parents.

The suspension was part of a "zero-tolerance" crackdown on bad behaviour in the school on Tuesday, which also saw 14 other ne'er-do-wells out on their ears for a range of offences. A spokeswoman said: "The kids will not be allowed to take control of the building. It's getting to the point where it's an embarrassment."

The hit list teen will remain suspended pending a disciplinary hearing, and may be expelled. ®

Bootnote

Yes, we know what you're thinking. Since Chuck Norris is "an outspoken advocate of building discipline in high schools by teaching students karate", why doesn't Pennsauken High School simply call in the man who "destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise" to restore order?

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