...here come the flood of arrogant Brits going, "Zomg zomg amerikkkan fascists you're all doomed - in Britain we'd never Taser someone! We're very civilized! We just follow them on security cameras and shoot them in the face eleven times..."

couldn't make this stuff up (including the boot note)

What??

Sounds like a typical Liverpool wedding tbh, other than the one oddity that Coleen isn't 7 months pregnant of course. So the wedding plan would be:

1. Get married

2. Get plastered

3. Have fight

4. Wedding cake curry afterwards

God almighty, cops have turned into pussies. Used to if you got aggressive towards them they just kicked your ass. Now they're afraid of, well pretty much anything, and whip out their tasers as soon as possible.

New Cop - 'I have a wife at home, I couldn't risk getting hurt and not ever seeing her or my newborn son again'.

Old Cop - 'yea babe, I kicked his damn head in for getting all uppity with me. Now get over here and show me you love me'

a perfect match and happy family to me (a bit disfunctional as you would expect from the area).

Calm down, calm down...

Nope not this time. Im sure potentially lethal firearms were required this time. god know how many people could have been killed!

Universal rule: the more drunken and rowdy the wedding, the more fun it is. This equation does not change, even at the extreme "call the cops" end of the scale, and the age of the participants is not a relevant variable. Part of Brown's promotion of "European café-style drinking" probably involves European-style weddings as well, which feel more like funerals (at least in my experience). Screw that. At least if you've had a few skinfuls a Tasering probably doesn't matter so much.

"Everyone on the dance floor for the fightin'!!"

1. Get married

1a. Sell pics to Hello/OK

1b. PROFIT!!!

2. Get plastered

3. Have fight

4. Wedding cake curry afterwards

4a. Sell pics to Hello/OK

4b. PROFIT!!!

5. Go through rocky patch / divorce.

5a. Sell pics to Hello/OK

5b. PROFIT!!!

5c. Sell rights to SkyOne/E4/MTV

5d. PROFIT!!!

Zomg zomg amerikkkan woosies you're all big girls blouses, whats wrong with a headlock and a bloody good kicking eh!

None of your point and click this side of the pond, up close and personal.

Cops in CA are not allowed to use force to cuff people they have to make them submit and then they close in and cuff them... East Coast cops will tackle you and cuff you while you are still resisting.. Its a matter of policy driven by politicians The results of which are things like Rodney King and the Wedding Tasers....

Sounds like a huge error by the planners to me. The wedding isn't going to be in a quaint little village called Crocctella by any chance?

Mine's the one that doesn't rustle when it moves...

..., I am surprised they didn't just call in air support like they do in Afganistan!

Randy Scouse Gits!

PH, cause she'd be a randy scouse git, if she was a scouse.

Cops in CA are not allowed to use force to cuff people.

Um thats by department.l I know SJPD will slam you. Seen LAPD on tv lots of time tackling and using submission holds.

As for the cops being pussies. Brides can be pycho. Mess up their wedding day and you better have health insurance. Last bride to be I saw flip out, deck the owner of rental hall. Then again tje owner did say I normally dont rent to coloreds. This was in the late 90's

My wife gave the DJ for our wedding reception a list of banned tracks - on threat of no pay, severe pain, and the breaking of his decks...

the bride was arrested for burying her stilleto heel into a guests head because he had been up to the buffet twice :-)

Does anyone think that Rodney King and the Wedding Tasers would be a kickass name for a band? :P

Old news!

If people really knew exactly how many people get locked up from Weddings this sort of stuff would not be news.

Grooms are common, fathers of the bride too, mothers of either side are willing and general party guests make up the remainder.

Paris - Because shes a chaste well behaved demure virginal lady too.

Models and amateur porn stars I can cope with -- but if I see many more stories about footballers I'll start reading The Onion instead. Congratulations, El Reg, you just made an ape another million.

can we maybe get Britney, Tara, Lindsay, and Paris in the story, so they can all be enjoyed properly in the same place?

PH, of course, she's the only one available.

which is just exactly what you all wanted them to be. You castrated them with lawyers, failed to support them even when the career perp's lies are proven false, cried "police brutality!" every time they looked at you funny, protested by the thousands any time some wife beating stoned thug was subdued for resisting arrest, and refused to prosecute cop killers.

This is what you wanted. This is what we told you your short-sighted selfish demands would create. How do you like your world now?

You don't know the cops in Vallejo... they don't take anything from anyone... My son had a friend whose brother mouthed off to the cops some years ago... he didn't survive the confrontation... Some parts of Vallejo have such a bad reputation that the police don't just use 2 cars... they call in 4-6 cars, or in this case TEN cars according to the article in the local paper. I've been through the area in the daytime... but only the daytime... ain't no place for honkies...

Vulture, because even they aren't safe there

They only shot him in the face 8/9 times, and they even managed to miss him once, from point-blank range!

I have it on good authority that the happy couple's "first dance" request was:

Sophie Ellis Bextor - Murder On The Dance Floor