Feeds

Richard Branson dupes entire wireless industry with Google on Mars gag

'Virgle, my a**'

Beginner's guide to SSL certificates

CTIA Wireless Speaking this morning (Tuesday) at the CTIA Wireless trade show in Las Vegas, Sir Richard Branson told several hundred mobile industry insiders that he and Google founders Larry Page and Sergey Brin will soon fly a solar-powered Noah's Ark to Mars.

And they believed him.

"I'm sure all of you here know Google. Google and Virgin have got together, and we've formed a new company called Virgle," Branson said, midway through his CTIA keynote. "Larry and Sergey put a considerable amount of investment in - and I put in a slightly lesser investment. The values of our companies are slightly different.

"Basically, what we're doing is building a giant Noah's Ark, a space ship that is powered by the sun, and it will carry 30 passengers."

No one laughed. So Sir Richard kept going.

virgil logo

Google's idea of a joke

"The reason we're calling it a giant Noah's Ark is that we're taking animals on board. We're taking beasts on board. And the idea is to head towards Mars with the plan - in our lifetime, hopefully - to actually put people on Mars and build a city on Mars."

At which point, several hundred wireless wonks broke into applause. So he kept going.

"But there's a catch for the people who are going," Branson continued. "They may not come back. But I'm sure that by the time we finish the work we're doing on Mars, it will be very beautiful for people to live there."

Then, after fifteen more minutes of Virgin-fueled speechification, Branson brought the lights up in the massive meeting hall and asked for volunteers.

At least thirty people walked onto stage for the chance to live on Mars / have their photo taken with Sir Richard Branson.

Meanwhile, Google has announced the formation of Virgle on its website, vowing to turn Mars into an "Open Source Planet." According to Google's "press release," the first Virgle flight to Mars will happen in 2016. That's eight years away.

A few words for all you CTIA attendees: Today is April Fool's Day. And Larry Page was married on Richard Branson's Caribbean island. ®

Bootnote

For all the news on the CTIA Wireless trade show see our CTIA roundup.

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops

More from The Register

next story
Brit telcos warn Scots that voting Yes could lead to HEFTY bills
BT and Co: Independence vote likely to mean 'increased costs'
Phones 4u slips into administration after EE cuts ties with Brit mobe retailer
More than 5,500 jobs could be axed if rescue mission fails
New 'Cosmos' browser surfs the net by TXT alone
No data plan? No WiFi? No worries ... except sluggish download speed
Radio hams can encrypt, in emergencies, says Ofcom
Consultation promises new spectrum and hints at relaxed licence conditions
Google+ GOING, GOING ... ? Newbie Gmailers no longer forced into mandatory ID slurp
Mountain View distances itself from lame 'network thingy'
Vodafone to buy 140 Phones 4u stores from stricken retailer
887 jobs 'preserved' in the process, says administrator PwC
Bonking with Apple has POUNDED mobe operators' wallets
... into submission. Weve squeals, ditches payment plans
Drag queens: Oh, don't be so bitchy, Facebook! Let us use our stage names
Handbags at dawn over free content ad network's ID policy
Comcast exec: No, we haven't banned Tor. I use it. You're probably using it
Keep in mind if, say, your Onion browser craps out on Xfinity
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Intelligent flash storage arrays
Tegile Intelligent Storage Arrays with IntelliFlash helps IT boost storage utilization and effciency while delivering unmatched storage savings and performance.
WIN a very cool portable ZX Spectrum
Win a one-off portable Spectrum built by legendary hardware hacker Ben Heck
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Beginner's guide to SSL certificates
De-mystify the technology involved and give you the information you need to make the best decision when considering your online security options.