*checks calander* yes it is...

Nice one !

Come on, you can do better than this! :)

I arrived at Heathrow and they asked me to see my mobile phone. I showed them and they started laughing and pointing saying "look at that guy, not even a iPhone".

Terrible, just terrible

How foolish

I almost died choking on my breakfast reading that article!

Upon reading the title, I smirked thinking "Pot, Kettle, black?", but I could not stop laughing, and spilling the cereal when I read it!

Kudos to the last paragraph, as well... simply the best :D

better than the penguins on the BBC

ROFL good done

happy April 1 el reg.

This would, of course, be a follow on to the (failed) attempt at getting the Eurovision Song Contest classified as "cruel and unusual" punishment.

April 1, how we've missed you!

Well, I think :)

did I miss something or is "amanfrommars" writing for the "The Register" . its 12:18 after a nice poker night and did not make any sense of that or I am I looking at a parallel world version of the reg and the rest of the WWW. is there some IP geo locator running looking for poor CIA men to interrogate. Would be nice if true :-)

Heh - typical Yank idiocy, but then what do you expect with a president who can't spell 'Guantemanomo' without the aid of My First World Dictionary, eh?

They're even giving this technique a name: Billboarding

and avoids the anal probe. :P

Americans who don't think flash improves a website? Seriously?

hmmm

i'm sure i've got one or two of those videos you did at college

sad to see you've dropped out of a nice respectable porn career

to become a journo

neb

Makes and interesting read and also refers to violation of right to privacy

But I think we've reached the limit of what Anne L Proeb (-ing) can teach us.

That's the best by-line I've seen today.

I aint no Fool...

just a bit too obvious... 5/10

Oh...it's April 1st, isn't it? Ho ho! Well done lads and lassie's....it was almost a bit too subtle for a thicko like me.

That's what I like about all ANNE L PROEBS articles, they get you where other articles just don't go.

That actually was pure torture when i was forced to browse via ISDN. I still deeply despise Flash for a number of reasons and totally support the move to have that banned.

Of course browsing forums for useful information is still much more of a pain in the butt.

Looks like I am the first to own up to being an April fool.

Paris? Because she is a lot smarter than me.

They're obviously referring to the new "improved" mortgage application process from some of the banks. SPeaking of which, gotta go - my cavity search and 1hr session on the rack is scheduled for this morning.

Lacks bite; worse yet: not believable.

you gotta love that name :)

By god, I've been waiting seven hours for a suitable April Fools to appear.

The Register has disappointed me before, when they lost any semblance of journalistic principles, but this takes the cake!

Not so much for the article as the byline. Best. Pseudonym. Ever :-)

Paris Hilton because I'd like to... no, perhaps best not to got there.

Sounds like something the CIA would do. Why just last week, er what's that, what do you mean look at the calendar... oh, nevermind.

If anyone is first in heavy handed interrogation, is the yanks. Look at the various banshee warbling sirens they foist upon us - like April Levine. Talk about 'Sigh'ops.

Maybe you should send them copies of TheRegister stories to make their days complete ... we'll help with a fighting fund when the litigation is directed towards you ... honest we will.

And I'm only just recovering form getting 'pinch-punched' this morning.

Is this an April fools prank, or did someone get up on the wrong side of the bed.

Oh, but we can wish it were true!

April Fool...

If only it were true.

Not very clever though, but better than the BBCs flying penguins.

LOL- love the April Fools ;) - Or is it.......

yes, mines the long black leather one...

There is potential here. Too far off base to be even remotely believable, but it's a nice first try. Hint: if you want to lie, start with truth and slowly change it. Good educational books are, for instance, "Wilt" and "The throwback" from Tom Sharpe.

Especially in "Wilt" can you see how to develop (on the surface) totally innocent circumstances a point where it's impossible to read on without laughing your head off.

:-)

Anne L Proeb? Must be those damn rainbows - I hate those things.

As any fule kno, sites such as this have a duty of care towards the less-able visitors - such as Americans. Bomabarding those less gifted with complex questions and a barrage of colours and shapes will only cause them to express their insecurities through inappropriate actions.

I smell a joke here. Not a bvery good one either

so it's started then

..paris...well she has no clue either

This is an April Fool's article,,, right?

Cheers El Reg, good April fools

Paris because, well she appreciates being interrogated.

Especially as El Reg is one of the worst offenders...

Dear Reg,

Got it in one. Nice try. For once there's a justification to not use the Paris icon.

Yours sincerely,

Oolla Frip

hello pot, meet mr kettle

Are we supposed to call 'April Fool' or just make some rant about the predictable hypocrisy of those crazy yankees?

I am going to stay away all day bah! April fools day is for fools.

<Checks the calendar> Yeah right!

Took me 2 articles on my "hunt the april fools" endeavour before finding it. Jolly good show.

Can only guess there's no PH-angle so as not to confuse...

Roll on noon.

Was this before or after they bought the spaghetti trees?

...the IBM one.

Ah, it is a p*sstake. Oh Duh april 1st. lol

i read the guardian website and saw 'mugabe told not to declare victory'.

i nearly spat my (fairtrade) coffee all over the keyboard. then i realised it wasnt an april fool.

bugger.

... I remembered the date. I didn't even have to read the article!

Avid Register reader, Paris is asking her publicist for clarification on this one, though...

Nice one!!!

- assuming this is the joke article... and not serious. :)

Paris because she would believe it...

It was deemed too explicit for publication but in short the 'interviewees' have been subjected to sonic torture. The use of Pete Andre and Katie Price's 'singing' had already been specifically banned under the Geneva Convention but it was thought that unlike the usual three or four hours of intense white noise, ten minutes would be sufficient to break even the hardest Eurovision fan.

No !! That title has been passed to Big Brother UK edition !!

Furthermore, it is said that Alan Sugar will be standing for election as the Prime Minister so that he can justifiably say "You're fired" to any minister he dislikes !! Bruce Forsyth will be elected as the Speaker to welcome the same old faces back to Parliament !! Also, for the first time ever, a Frenchman will be appointed as the Chancellor of the Exchequer. Jerome Kerveil will bring with him the means and experience to fill the National Coffers very nicely, thank you !! Nick Leeson was offered the job first but he declined graciously on the grounds that he is still actively sought by various Singaporean gentlemen who would like to invite him to be the guest of honour at their banquet. It seems that they love him - boiled, roasted or stir-fried !!

Yes, please

@Richard

"They're even giving this technique a name: Billboarding"

Thought that was good.

As for the 'article' - Started reading with my first cup of coffee - fell in to the usual Reg rhythm and then the caffeine hit... Hope Anne L Proeb will become a regular contributor... usually writes for UFO sites, does she?

....but this isn't so much an April Fool as a scarily likely story...and a wonderfully satirical view of the widespread abuse of the world wide web that has come into play nowadays...

Love it...

"... exploding donuts ..." - that should be "doughnuts" I presume, to further flummox spelling-challenged US visitors ...

[or is "donut" an implied reference to "do not" for inhabitants of the superSizeMe continent ?]

the Spanish Inquisition, the Khmer Rouge, and the WW2 SS were notorious for using Flash to torture their prisoners, and the use of Macromedia animation products for any purpose, other than "lowbrow entertainment and twitch games", is explicitly proscribed by Article 69, paragraph (f), subparagraph (9) of the Geneva Convention (original text).

more recently, the CIA subjected terrorism suspects to Flash-based questionnaires, but the practice was stopped when the agency realized that it scared the prisoners so badly, nothing they subsequently said was credible (or indeed, intelligible, as the subjects permanently switched to a clicky, obscure dialect of ancient Urdu, that no one has been able to translate).

I for one am against all these so called "surveys" from sites like El Reg :)

I mean "this will only take 20 minutes of your time" LIES ALL LIES!!!!

20 minutes turns into 30 then 40 I mean common Reg I have a life too I need to have my time for beer not taken away from me :)

Plus how much do I make oh common you expect me not to lie? A better question and more relevant question would be "How much do you spend at the pub on in a normal pay period?" Thats the type of questions we as IT professionals want to see.

So until we start seeing those questions which as relevant I dont know how much longer I can deal with these "only 20 minutes of your time" surveys for only so much longer ;-)

/mines the one with the survey in the pocket :)

Nice April joke BTW