1st April 2008 Archive

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Dell axes 900 jobs in Austin plant shutdown

But hey, $3bn in savings!

Round Rock's Sword of Dell-ocles has once again dropped on employees of the world's number two PC manufacturer. Dell today said it will close its Austin, Texas desktop PC manufacturing plant and lay-off 800-900 workers. The Topfer Manufactering Center will end its operations by January 1. The sky is apparently always sunny on …

Hardware 1 Apr 00:52
Apple sued over 'inflated' iMac claims

Beneath Apple's 'good guy' image is...

Apple, the world's most successful brand, is being sued by a Los Angeles law firm for "deceptively" marketing the new 20-inch iMac Kabateck Brown Kellner says the monitor is "vastly inferior to the previous generation it replaced", not that you would know it from Apple's "grossly inflated" claims. According to the law firm, …

Hardware 1 Apr 02:48
IBM unveils nano-projector based VirtuaHuman with 1TB of memory

April Fools It walks, talks and tweets

Don Eigler – a researcher famous for spelling I-B-M with individual atoms – stunned the world once again today by revealing on his blog that a creature known as Robert Scoble is really a research project. A few years back, IBM researchers started to think more and more about the potential rise of so-called virtual worlds …

Rise of the Machines 1 Apr 04:20
Intel's 'Living Large' mantra threatens tour guide industry

IDF Issues disturbing Deer John

If last night's meal of private deer parts and caterpillar fungus had not gone down so well, we might have struggled to digest Intel's latest slogan – "Carry small, Live large." Yes indeed, Intel marched out a new marketing directive here at IDF China, hoping to woo the local crowd with its Western fluffery prowess. You can …

Hardware 1 Apr 06:33
CIA demands UK halts interrogation tactics

April Fools 'Cruel and unusual' demands

A human rights lawsuit filed on behalf of prominent US government agencies - including the Central Intelligence Agency and the Guantanamo Bay Naval Base - has been filed in a European Court. The lawsuit, which plaintiffs also sent to Foreign Minister David Miliband - asks that British websites cease engaging in "cruel, unusual …

Bootnotes 1 Apr 07:02
Intel launches R&D initiative to invent PDA

IDF 15 years after Apple's MessagePad, we're still not there yet

Intel today disclosed a raft of technologies that will drive a research initiative it hopes will put the Assistant back into the Personal Digital Assistant, one of the most inappropriately applied acronyms in the history of personal computing. Intel's plan is called 'Carry Small, Live Large', and while the slogan's new, the …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 07:07
Intel's 'Bloomfield' spied ahead of IDF public demo

IDF Next-gen Core Extreme seen

Intel's next-generation 45nm processor architecture, 'Nehalem', made an appearance at the as-yet-unopened Intel Developer Forum (IDF) event today. A number of machines sported four-core versions of the chip. One, packed inside a Supermicro box, was running complex flow analysis - making a flag wave in the wind - on all eight …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 08:48
Patent shields customer support from customers

I'm sorry Dave, I can't do that

A US patent granted to SNAPin details a process for spotting when a user is trying to call support, and presenting them with a self-help package rather than connecting the call. SNAPin provides operators with customer support applications - pre-installed on operator-variant handsets - to help punters use their shiny new …

Mobile 1 Apr 08:52
IFPI demands $2.5m in damages from The Pirate Bay

'Numbers are pure fantasy'

The International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI) is demanding $2.5m in damages from Swedish torrent tracking site The Pirate Bay. The compensation claim, which covers 24 CDs, nine movies and four games, was served at the Stockholm District Court on Monday. All four Pirate Bay founders (Gottfried Svartholm Warg …

Music and Media 1 Apr 08:57
Jules Verne gets intimate with ISS

Successful approach to within 11 metres

The European Space Agency's "Jules Verne" Automated Transfer Vehicle yesterday manoevered itself to within 11 metres of the docking port of the ISS's Russian Zvezda module during a second "demonstration day" designed to test its "critical optical navigation system" prior to a scheduled docking on 3 April. The space truck, …

Space 1 Apr 09:03
ScaleMP creates $10k four-socket box out of thin air

Well, out of Infiniband and virtualization

Consider this like a Sesame Street episode for Symmetric Multi-Processor servers. "ScaleMP knows big. Now it wants to show you small." For the last couple of years, ScaleMP has sold software which turns smaller x86 servers into a single, hulking SMP similar to systems more common in the Unix realm. It can lash together boxes …

Servers 1 Apr 09:18
Teacher's head explodes due to Wi-Fi, mobe radiation

April Fools Pupils upload vid to slate-my-teacher cyberbully site

New research carried out for British newspapers and broadcasters has revealed conclusive evidence that wireless technologies are in fact a severe hazard to human health. In one controversial experiment, a middle-aged sociology teacher's head was actually caused to explode by a combination of Wi-Fi transmissions, deadly mobile …

Mobile 1 Apr 09:31
Blogging Whitehall mandarin had top secret 'panopticon' plan

April Fools Leaked document reveals Sir Bonar's guilty secret

In the summer of 2001, Whitehall officials saw the UK's national identity scheme as just the first step in a "five to fifteen year" strategy to create a comprehensive surveillance society, a top secret document obtained by The Register reveals. The document, signed by top Cabinet Office mandarin Sir Bonar Neville-Kingdom, was …

Bootnotes 1 Apr 09:41
Intel shows Atom-powered Eee PC clones

IDF Same spec, but faster CPU

Intel was keen to show off its Atom processor in the run-up to Intel Developer Forum (IDF), and drummed up a trio of machines to show it off - including the 7in Asus Eee PC. Asus' plan to adopt Atom is well known, at least as far as the upcoming 8.9in Eee PC 900 goes. Less well known is new brand Thinno, which was showing its …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 10:10
The online funeral

Say goodbye, the modern way

Consumer technology is usually associated with living people. However, one intrepid UK crematorium now allows people to say goodbye to their beloved through a webcam and the internet. From today, Southampton Crematorium will offer a pay-per-view service that gives mourners online access to a broadcast of someone’s last moments …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 10:18
NZ teen botnet mastermind cops a plea

AKILL likely to avoid jail

A New Zealand teenager charged with running a huge cybercrime network has pleaded guilty to computer hacking and fraud offences. Owen Thor Walker, 18, admitted six charges including accessing a computer for dishonest purposes, possession of software for committing crime, and accessing computer systems without authorisation, AP …

Enterprise Security 1 Apr 10:52
Spring opens its core to the seriously committed

Site invites add-on contributors

Contributors to Spring devising and developing extensions to the open source framework will soon get dedicated help from project leaders through a new community site. Spring leaders, though, will maintain a high commitment threshold for those contributing to the core Spring Framework itself. A site is to be rolled out in the …

Developer 1 Apr 11:03
We-think, I-think ... and Groupthink

Column Paralysed by plagiarism

I recently discovered something truly startling from a student. We were discussing the age-old problem of how to make sure an essay answers the question, and the value of concluding an argument by adopting a particular position. It was then that she confided in me something I'd never heard before. She agreed that while it …

Music and Media 1 Apr 11:04
Danish ISP bundles free music subscription

But there's a catch

TDC, Denmark's biggest ISP, is bundling a free music service with its broadband offering. And no, it's not a 1 April story - as we'll see from the caveats. While the service, PLAY, offers songs from three of the four biggest labels, it's not a "legal P2P file-sharing" service of the kind we so often discuss here. The songs …

Telecoms 1 Apr 11:09
BT and Phorm secretly tracked 18,000 customers in 2006

Exclusive Spied on, profiled, and targeted for credit cards

BT secretly intercepted and profiled the web browsing of 18,000 of its broadband customers in 2006 using advertising technology provided by 121Media, the alleged spyware company that changed its name to Phorm last year. BT Retail ran the "stealth" pilot without customer consent between 23 September and 6 October 2006. The …

Telecoms 1 Apr 11:15
Women overtaking men in tech abuse

A woman, in an IT department?

Think of a tech nerd and you’ll probably conjure up the image of a middle-aged man with Ethernet cables draped around his neck. However, women are becoming increasingly tech-savvy, according to a study of female geeks. The study questioned just over 2000 US-based ‘tech nerds’ about their use of consumer technology. The results …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 11:35
Blu-ray drive in development for Xbox 360

Microsoft keeping mum

Microsoft’s Xbox division has already denied it’s talking to Sony about Blu-ray, but that hasn’t stopped the rumours. It’s now claimed that Taiwanese outfit Lite-On IT is developing a Blu-ray drive for the console. According to a DigiTimes report, unnamed industry sources have claimed that Lite-On is developing a built-in Blu- …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 11:36
SOCA soaks up asset recovery agency

More powers to seize illgotten gains for UK's 'FBI'

The UK's Serious Organised Crime Agency (SOCA) has merged with the Assets Recovery Agency (ARA) as part of plans to streamline the recovery of criminal assets. The merger, which was agreed by Parliament last year through the provisions of the Serious Crime Act, means SOCA will now have both criminal and civil powers to fight …

Policing 1 Apr 11:54
ISO puts OOXML announcement on ice

Updated Microsoft left waiting in the wings

The International Organisation for Standardisation (ISO) has pushed back its announcement on whether Microsoft has secured enough votes for its Office Open XML (OOXML) file format to tomorrow (2 April). A statement was expected from the ISO today. However, a number of observers who have closely followed the ballot have already …

Applications 1 Apr 12:01
Jimmy Wales resigns from Wikipedia

April Fools And Wikia too

Wikipedia co-founder Jimmy "Jimbo" Wales has resigned as Board member and Chair Emeritus of the Wikimedia Foundation, severing his seven-year relationship with "the free encyclopedia anyone can edit." The man who once called himself Wikipedia's Spiritual Leader has also stepped down as the president of Wikia, the for-profit …

Bootnotes 1 Apr 12:02
Boeing: Black's the new black for black-helicopter projects

A160T robot whispercopter in DARPA man-sniffer tests

US aerospace colossus Boeing has revealed plans for its unmanned whisper-mode stealth helicopter, the A160T, to return to flight following a recent crash. The revolutionary, groundbreaking aircraft (cough) pranged itself during test flights last year, but Boeing believes that the software problems leading to the crash have been …

Government 1 Apr 12:22
Marathons to face iPod ban?

Watch those shoelaces too

Apple and Nike may think the upcoming London Marathon is the perfect promotion for their musical exercise gadgets. However, the global body behind marathons is considering banning audio players in case runners hurt themselves whilst changing lanes tracks. The IAAF Road Running Commission is the world’s governing body for …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 12:35
Comcast acquires BitTorrent for $53bn

April Fools 'Our cheapest option'

Just hours after acquiring BitTorrent Incorporated for $53bn in cash and stock, Comcast has shutdown the tiny San Francisco company, assuring customers and shareholders that its doors will never reopen. Last week, the big-name American ISP told the world it would find a way of managing its cable network without discriminating …

Telecoms 1 Apr 13:02
Jabra displays Bluetooth headset screen

Watch and talk

Jabra has launched a Bluetooth headset featuring an integrated display, allowing users to visually check the device's battery life and call information. Jabra's BT4010 has a tiny screen for displaying call information The BT4010 isn’t the first Bluetooth headset to feature an integrated display; Sony Ericsson’s HBH-660 …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 13:31
Google lets users take Apps files offline

Hard drive autosaving to save you grief

Google is to give users access to Google Apps offline, meaning they'll be able to continue working if their internet connection falls down. Over the next few weeks, Google will start to enable users' accounts one at a time and it'll start with Google Docs. Offline access to Spreadsheets and Presentations will follow later. …

Applications 1 Apr 13:32
Storm Worms exploit April Fools

Lazy attack aims to dupe the credulous

The miscreants behind the Storm Worm botnet have taken advantage of April Fools' day in a bid to infect more Windows PCs. Security firms are warning users to avoid the temptation to click on April Fools' day emails that may redirect them to maliciously constructed websites. The latest attempt to dupe more gullible users into …

Anti-Virus 1 Apr 13:45
The Facebook Initiative – Bill Gates's greatest invention

April Fools Taking the hardship out of friendship

I'd interviewed Bill Gates so many times over the past 20 years but had never seen him in this kind of mood. On this unusual day last month, the typically unemotional man displayed a profound, passionate glimmer of the eye. "I've come up with something that will make Steve Jobs cry," he told me. "This is a taste, refinement …

Music and Media 1 Apr 13:51
El Reg green debate: Click here to hug the planet

It's like Woodstock - you were either there or you caught the mp3 later

The entire, unexpurgated proceedings from The Register's Green Computing Debate, including exclusive tree-hugging vendor presentations and environmentally-friendly mp3 files are now available for consumption to those of you who may have missed our must-listen, save-the-planet 27 February webpodcastinar. The Green Computing …

Environment 1 Apr 14:46
Mobile phones global health menace, says top brain surgeon

Global epidemic nearing

Prolonged mobile phone use could be more damaging to your health than smoking or asbestos, according to the latest report into the possible risks of handset radiation on human brains. The report was compiled by Dr Vini Khurana, an Australian neurosurgeon, following 14 months of research. This, he says, involved a critical …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 15:35
Shell starts clock ticking on unlucky 1% of staff

Slickly does it

Royal Dutch Shell has claimed that no more than 30 jobs will be axed following the firm’s decision to outsource more than 3,000 worldwide IT staff. A spokeswoman at the oil multinational told The Register that it had set a “maximum headcount” of 30 employees who can expect the chop by 1 July. That’s the transfer crunch date …

IT Director 1 Apr 15:57
Document glitch sparks GTA IV ban scare

18 certificate awarded

Any gamers left panicking after reading that the Grand Theft Auto IV videogame has been refused a UK rating by the British Board of Film Classification (BBFC) can rest easy. Register Hardware can confirm that a misinterpretation of classification documents falsely sparked the rumours - the game has actually been awarded an 18 …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 16:02
Canon Digital Ixus 960 IS compact camera

Review Plenty of pixels, but passable performance

The latest offering from Canon, the Digital Ixus 960 IS offers no less than 12.1 megapixel performance. But, as we shall see, offering more pixels means paying a price when it comes to certain aspects of performance. We have to say, the Ixus 960 is one of the nicest cameras we’ve seen, with a titanium body and sleek finish – …

Reg Hardware 1 Apr 19:22
EMC buys Brit Microsoft shop

Kerching for Conchango shareholders

EMC is buying Conchango, a UK-based Microsoft-shop for £42m ( $84m). That's a little more than '07 revenues (£38m) and 30 times pre-tax profits (£2.8m) for the AIM-listed firm. Conchango's "300 professionals" supply IT consulting services for the likes of Tesco, Virgin Atlantic and SKY. It builds big ecommerce websites too. …

Channel Register 1 Apr 20:15
FCC boss quashes Skype open access plea

CTIA Wireless Martin thinks Verizon tells the truth

When Verizon says that its entire wireless network will soon be open to any device and any application, the chairman of the US Federal Communications Commission believes the mega-telco is telling truth. In a keynote this morning at the annual CTIA Wireless trade show in Las Vegas, FCC chair Kevin Martin said he intends to …

Mobile 1 Apr 20:49
US auto parts store spills data to hackers

Leaky gasket

Advance Auto Parts, the US motoring parts retailer, is the latest firm to give up customer credit card data to hackers. The bad guys gleaned financial information on up to 56,000 customers, through an attack affecting 14 stores nationwide, the firm a href="http://www.advanceautoparts.com/creditsecurity/default.asp" target=" …

Enterprise Security 1 Apr 21:31
Galaxy's smallest known black hole discovered

Sand kicked in face, but compacted into infinite density

Two NASA scientists have measured the puniest black hole yet - it has a diameter of just 15 miles and a mass about 3.8 times greater than the size of our sun. The black hole is located in the Milky Way Galaxy binary system called XTE J1650-500 (oh, NASA and your flowery names) — roughly 10,000 light years away. Astronomers …

Security 1 Apr 21:35
Google hippie code trip delayed again

A week is a long time in coding

Google has - for a second year - delayed the cut-off for student applications to its programming fest, Google Summer of Code The deadline - originally slated for March 31 - has been pushed back to April 7 "to provide more time for students to submit their applications" according to Google's website. Google cited time-honored …

Applications 1 Apr 21:42
YouTube 'rape victim' arrested

Charged with suspicion of underage sex

A woman who claims she was gang raped by a group of teens that posted a video of the attack on YouTube has been arrested on suspicion of underage sex and perverting the course of justice. A Scotland Yard spokesperson said the 24-year-old mother was arrested on March 28 and released on bail, according to the Telegraph.co.uk. …

Music and Media 1 Apr 22:11
Reg April Fools '08

What merriment and mirth is this?

The Register April Fools, 2008 The Facebook Initiative – Bill Gates's greatest invention: Taking the hardship out of friendship Blogging Whitehall mandarin had top secret 'panopticon' plan: Leaked document reveals Sir Bonar's guilty secret Jimmy Wales resigns from Wikipedia: And Wikia too IBM unveils nano-projector based …

Bootnotes 1 Apr 22:35
How an app called WarmTouch nailed a grenade-stockpiling cyber extortionist

Software that knows if you're mad - or a loner

When the president of a prestigious patent and trademarking firm began receiving emails threatening to bring down its operations unless he paid a $17m ransom, he knew he had to take action. He reported the incident to the Federal Bureau of Investigation, but agents were unable to identify the culprit. So he retained the …

Policing 1 Apr 23:20
Reg April Fools 2007

Oh how we laughed

Microsoft to build on Rogers Partnership Chief architects drawn together PowerPoint grows up Taking the PowerPoint Integration for VSTS for a ride… Apple, Google join forces for 'ultimate phone' Spherical challenge Research reveals mislaid microprocessor megahertz The more CPUs speed up, the more they slow down Bloggers …

Bootnotes 1 Apr 23:46