Feeds

Ohio man cuffed for shagging picnic table

Furniture-based public indecency caught on camera

Build a business case: developing custom apps

An Ohio man has admitted to four felony counts of public indecency after a neighbour caught him on camera having sex with a picnic table, local news outfit WTOL11 reports.

Bellevue resident Art Price Jr, 40, molested the round metal table on four occasions "between the hours of 10:30 am and noon". A video of his last furniture liaison, on 14 March, provided police with hard evidence of Price's perversion.

Police Captain Matt Johnson said: "The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table."

While sex with picnic tables is normally considered a misdemeanour, the fact that Price got down and dirty "in close proximity to a school" makes the outrage rather more serious. Johnson explained: "What boosts it up to a felony is that the statute says if it's likely to be viewed by a minor."

Some neighbours are reportedly worried that Price's three school-age kids might take some stick if their school friends get wind of the scandal, although others are rather more concerned that he was released "on his own recognisance". One said: "He shouldn't be allowed just for the fact that he could do that again - and nude that close to a school. That should be zero tolerance."

Captain Johnson concluded: "Once you think you've seen it all, something else comes around." ®

Next gen security for virtualised datacentres

More from The Register

next story
Yes, but what are your plans if a DRAGON attacks?
Local UK gov outs most ridiculous FoI requests...
Cops baffled by riddle of CHICKEN who crossed ROAD
'Officers were unable to determine Chicken's intent'
MEN WANTED to satisfy town full of yearning BRAZILIAN HOTNESS
'Prettier, better organised, more harmonious than if men were in charge'
Drunkards warned: If you can't walk in a straight line, don't shop online, you fool!
Put it away boys. Cover them up ladies. Your credit cards, we mean
Why your mum was WRONG about whiffy tattooed people
They're a future source of RENEWABLE ENERGY
Murder accused DIDN'T ask Siri 'how to hide my roommate'
US court hears of cached browser image - not actual request
Chomp that sausage: Brits just LOVE scoffing a Full Monty
Sales of traditional brekkie foods soar as hungry folk get their mitts greasy
prev story

Whitepapers

Implementing global e-invoicing with guaranteed legal certainty
Explaining the role local tax compliance plays in successful supply chain management and e-business and how leading global brands are addressing this.
Endpoint data privacy in the cloud is easier than you think
Innovations in encryption and storage resolve issues of data privacy and key requirements for companies to look for in a solution.
Scale data protection with your virtual environment
To scale at the rate of virtualization growth, data protection solutions need to adopt new capabilities and simplify current features.
Boost IT visibility and business value
How building a great service catalog relieves pressure points and demonstrates the value of IT service management.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?