Feeds

Wombat rape ordeal turns NZ man Australian

Traumatised victim spouts Strine

Security for virtualized datacentres

A NZ man who rang emergency services claiming he'd been left speaking Australian as a result of rape by a wombat has been sentenced to 75 hours' community service, stuff.co.nz reports.

Nelson District Court heard earlier this week how on the afternoon of 11 February, 48-year-old orchard worker Arthur Ross Cradock initially phoned the police communications centre threatening to "smash the filth" if they came to his Motueka home, but confirmed he had an emergency.

A second call revealed the exact nature of the crisis when Cradock told the operator: "I've been raped by a wombat."

Cradock requested police intervention, but shortly after called for a third time to cancel. He said: "I'll retract the rape complaint from the wombat, because he's pulled out. Apart from speaking Australian now, I'm pretty all right you know, I didn't hurt my bum at all.''

Cradock was subsequently charged with "using a phone for a fictitious purpose". Police prosecutor Sergeant Chris Stringer told the court "alcohol had played a big part in [his] life", although defence lawyer Michael Vesty claimed booze "was not a problem that day".

Judge Richard Russell unsurprisingly admitted he was "not quite sure what motivated Cradock to make those statements to the police", and in sentencing warned the defendant "not to do it again". ®

Bootnote

One of the El Reg editorial team hails from New Zealand, and apparently spent all day yesterday attempting to prevent this story falling into the hands of the Friday Bootnotes department. I'm obliged to the three readers who quite rightly alerted me to it.

New hybrid storage solutions

More from The Register

next story
Every billionaire needs a PANZER TANK, right? STOP THERE, Paul Allen
Angry Microsoftie hauls auctioneers to court over stalled Pzkw. IV 'deal'
Apple's Mr Havisham: Tim Cook says dead Steve Jobs' office has remained untouched
'I literally think about him every day' says biz baron's old friend
Flaming drone batteries ground commercial flight before takeoff
Passenger had Something To Declare, instead fiddled while plane burned
Cops apologise for leaving EXPLOSIVES in suitcase at airport
'Canine training exercise' SNAFU sees woman take home booming baggage
WRISTJOB LOVE BONANZA: justWatch sex app promises blind date hookups
Mankind shuffles into the future, five fingers at a time
Jony Ive: Apple iWatch will SCREW UP Switzerland's economy
Apple's chief designer forgot one crucial point about overpriced bling
prev story

Whitepapers

Secure remote control for conventional and virtual desktops
Balancing user privacy and privileged access, in accordance with compliance frameworks and legislation. Evaluating any potential remote control choice.
Saudi Petroleum chooses Tegile storage solution
A storage solution that addresses company growth and performance for business-critical applications of caseware archive and search along with other key operational systems.
High Performance for All
While HPC is not new, it has traditionally been seen as a specialist area – is it now geared up to meet more mainstream requirements?
Security for virtualized datacentres
Legacy security solutions are inefficient due to the architectural differences between physical and virtual environments.
Providing a secure and efficient Helpdesk
A single remote control platform for user support is be key to providing an efficient helpdesk. Retain full control over the way in which screen and keystroke data is transmitted.