NetApp and Halliburton: going further, faster, together
But there can be only one
What do the data storage firm NetApp and the internationally —er— recognized war profiteer Halliburton have in common?
Oh ho ho!
Last month, Network Appliance officially nick-ed its name to NetApp. It also snagged a new corporate logo and slogan in a marketing push to be more easily recognized as a brand. Turns out there's four or five people out there with the means, need, experience and interest in purchasing data center storage systems that haven't heard of NetApp. That's where a multi-million dollar image overhaul comes in.
And because it was purely an exercise in brand distinction, we couldn't help but point out that the generic stylized new "N" logo is also trademarked by the Dutch automotive lube company, Novatio.
But there's also the new slogan: "Go further, faster." It's not a terrible slogan, we'll admit right here. After all, the key to a good corporate motto is that it sounds important, while not really meaning anything. Full marks.
There's a hitch, of course. "Go further, faster," is also a trademarked slogan of none other than Halliburton. Yes, know it, love it — give it billion dollar no-bid government contracts: Halliburton. Hmm, Novatio and Halliburton. Maybe NetApp's marketing people did an internet search on "Oil" and took the company revamp from there.
Halliburton, by the way uses "Go further, faster," for its "Halliburton Young Professionals" campaign to send kids to Iraq in style.
So take a look at Halliburton's pitch, then NetApp's. It's a tough choice. On one hand, according to the Halliburton recruitment video, the company makes a habit of going further, faster every god damn day. That's consistency. On the other, NetApp's video has a 4/5 star rating on YouTube.
"Very cool!" says a commenter who we are sure is not an employee of NetApp. "Awesome," echoes another completely random observer.
Which pitch better tickles your fancy? Check out both videos below. It's decision 2008 time:
RE: Nice bashing of Halliburton
Naw, nice maneuvering.
It's the oldest ploy in the book - have a "subsidiary" take in huge contracts/subprime mortgages/risky investments, have the parent company spin off the sub, and then setup "corporate synergies" so that the sub pays the parent company for the services, and the sub takes the fall when the eventual legality of the actual work is questioned/investigated/brings enconomy crashing down.
The sub falls into disrepute with the shareholders holding pretty printed toilet paper and the "key" executives and board members sip champagne on their yacht in the Med, setting up the next scam/scheme/gov contract to keep paying for it all.
And, if you happen to run the largest "free" country in the world to tweak regulations, all the better for your pocketbook and friends, eh?
An eloquent riposte
"Go fuck yourself." -Dick Cheney on his ties to Halliburton
I think that completely explains and puts to rest any questions as to Halliburton or KBR's alledged profiteering, and any possible involvement Cheney had with them. I, for one, am completely satisfied with that simple, straightforward explanation.
Paris, for obvious reasons.
They just took the shortcut, since just about no other company would even try to bid for these contracts. Halliburton is just about the only gigantic international oilfield services company thats willing to go into a war zone, so they would have had the only bid. I do feel kinda sorry for their employees, who would probably be faced with a "go to Iraq or find a new job" type decision...