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Captain Cyborg plans to milk you, human scum

'You'll be a subspecies, like cows are now'

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Reg chiefs have been holding daily crisis meetings for several months over what has become of Professor Kevin "Captain Cyborg" Warwick.

"He's been quiet... too quiet," one old-timer told this reporter only last week.

Imagine the cheer yesterday then, when Reg reader Chris reported a sighting of the good Cap'n in Scientific American, now apparently acting as the in-house journal of unscientific Brits.

But relief was short-lived. The comfort of knowing he's not using his Dalek capability to wreak havoc on the lower decks of Vulture Central was quickly punctured as we read on. Indeed, our worst fears were realised: the Captain is preparing the final assault of his war on humanity.

Unscientific Brit makes no bones about the seriousness of El Generalissmo Cyborgo's escalating technological campaign to plug himself into the net. "Sure, he might damage his brain, but for Warwick, it's the lesser of two evils," we're warned.

So what's the greater evil? What's to become of we brain chip refuseniks?

Although the article concedes that the Cap'n is "something of a self-promoter", it nonetheless provides an ample platform for his chilling vision of the near future for those who oppose him.

"I guess they'll be some sort of subspecies," says the Cap'n. "Just like we have cows now." ®

Internet Security Threat Report 2014

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