Boozed Belarusian dodges birthday train squish
90mph express fails to interrupt 40 winks
A Belarus woman snoozed her way through a near-death experience in Brest after she ended her birthday with a kip on a railway track.
Svetlana Yurkova had been celebrating her 32nd birthday in the time-honoured fashion when she was overcome with fatigue, and found herself a comfortable place to bed down. "I just lay down on what I thought was the ground," she explained. "It felt very comfortable, but I later found out it was between two rail tracks and an express train went over me during the night. I didn't even hear it."
"The doctors said it was a good job I was so hard asleep," she went on, "otherwise I would have woken up with the sound of the train and got my head knocked off."
Concerned onlookers called the emergency services, quite reasonably convinced Yurkova was dead after the 90mph train ran over her. The lurking figure of Charles Darwin was observed fleeing the scene, cursing extravagantly. ®
There was actually a guy here in Australia who did a similar thing, except he actually slept on the sleepers between the rails. And he woke up, hitting his head on one of the train's axles, thankfully the train was slowing down to stop at the next station.
Still, excellent article Sarah. Classic use of Darwin there...
If I fall asleep somewhere and am suddenly awaked by a thunderous noise and a shaking of the ground: DO NOT sit bolt-upright and shout "What the fuck!?!?"
Anyway, she's a bloody lucky chick...
I wish / could afford to get that drunk.
Great article, Sarah.
The Principle of Excess
This seems to be a shining example of the above principle as discussed by Armando Iannucci in "The Armando Iannucci Shows". It goes something along the lines of - if you drink 3 pints and drive, you will have an accident. If you have 13 pints and drive you will wake up at home with the car perfectly parked on the drive (someone else's perhaps but perfectly parked nonetheless).
By the same token, if you steal a DVD from Woolworths you'll get a criminal record; if you steal a whole country you become king.
Don't do things by halves and you can't go wrong - you just have to go for excess - bottle out half way through and it's no good!
I don't drive by the way and don't condone drinking 13 pints whether you're driving or not.