I can hear the bodies of Sid James, Peter Butterworth and Bernard Bresslaw thrumming at high r.p.m. even as we speak.

dear god no. Vinnie Jones? Daniella Westbrook? well known comedy actors. (mind you westbrook would be funny if her nose kept falling off)

It had all gone quiet on this I hoped they had drowned the idea, but its back.

There is no way I'm going to watch this as Jones is in it. not because he won't be any good, but i refuse to watch anything with him in.

This one's easy. Alistair Darling plays Kenneth Williams (Oh come on! The name alone is worth it!), John Prescott as Bernie Bresslaw, Gordon Brown as Sid James, Jacqui Smith as Dora Bryan, David Milliband as Charles Hawtrey, Hilary Benn as Hattie Jacques (c'mon, with that name he's a shoo-in for Hattie's part) and Ruth Kelly as Barbara Windsor.

Actors? We don't need no stinkin' actors.

Ok, maybe my civics/english culture course failed me.

Let's show all non-natives carry-on's until they break and swear allegiance (or repent and demand return to their origin --- don't let em go though).

The cream of briish talent here ...... Used to be a footballer , used to be redcoat, used to be a druggie .

Its not exacally pulp fiction is it ?

Pirate flag cos I wouldnt waste bandwidth on this

No we've cut through the base (the wood was scraped badly anyway) and are now pneumatic drilling into the concrete.

suggestions for participants, either for this one (prob too late) or any future ones:

mitchell & webb

lee francis (bo selecta)

omid djalili

sean lock

dara o'brian

ed byrne

michael macintyre

john oliver (get him away from the daily and show and back 'ome!)

tim vine

messers enfield and whitehouse

catherine tate

roni ancona (she's gorgeous!)

i'm sure others can think of a few more. :)

the carry on films are not high brow, they never were meant to be, they are just a bit of harmless cinematic fun. i don't know why they ever stopped.

long live carry on!

p.s. i didn't add line breaks to that list, the register does it automatically, pff!

Hope it's better than their 'recent' attempts.

that the Dalai Lama laughs like Sid James

b - agreed Roni is gorgeous but can I follow John's political thread and nominate Caroline Flint (preferably dressed as she was yesterday for the budget) ?

I've nothing more to add. Whose stupid idea was this?

I'm not convinced it's possible to make Carry On films anymore. The humour relies so much on cheeky silliness that just doesn't exist anymore. Columbus failed because they tried to make it contemporary, and I bet that's where this will end up (if the apparent poor casting doesn't do for it). Let's hope that the people making this have watched the previous films, and understand what made them funny and popular.

> i don't know why they ever stopped

The world moved on, and everyone died.

Well, once a week should be enough for any man!

Don't you remember the last one? just putting a bunch of your favorite stand ups in doesnt work... you want comic *actors*.

out of that list, mitchell & webb (well, mitchell anyway), whitehouse, and omid yeah good they could star

think less walliams & lucas... more armstrong & miller...

Anne Widdecombe to replace Hatie Jacques :-)

Limos, London, laughs?

They need Clarkson and friends from Top Gear along with their 'stretch limos' from the show. Hammond's lotus deserves a cameo on it's own.

Bad idea, failed once already and is likely to 'Carry on failing'.

You just can't find the same quality of actors and actresses as they had back then, not to mention you have to be PC and not offend anyone's culture or religion.

Carry On Wondering Why British Cinema Sucks

Jo Brand

Vic Reeves

Bob Mortimer

Frankie Boyle

Phil Jupitus

Jack Dee

Paul Merton

Fred McCaulay

And the following people should be kept away, using guns if required:

French & Saunders

Lenny Henry

Freddie Star

Joe Pasquali

Ant & Dec

Catherine Tate (talentless waste of DNA)

What about Lucas & Walliams!

And Paris coz she hasn't been in the news for a while...

Howard Moon and Vince Noir- no others need apply

"I'M OLD GREGG!!!!!!!!!"

PH because she probably has drunk Baileys from a shoe.

After all, St Trinians was popular enough.

Maybe a better headline for this story would have been "Insufferable franchise disinterred; film lacking either ambition or achievement to follow"?

The dead vulture icon, to represent the state of the British film industry.

Oooh Noooo stop messing about...

What are these people thinking! Why don't they just try and rip us off by releasing a ridiculously overpriced boxed set, rather than give some undertalented actors* more opportunity to make complete arses of themselves.

*I use the word actors in the very losest sense of the word.

...and Karl Pilkington.

When this was first discussed they were going to have the <sarcasm> amazingly pant wettingly funny </sarcasm> Russell Brand and the <sarcasm> voice of an angel </sarcasm> Sarah Harding in it, I wonder what happened to them? I mean Sarah Harding would fit the "stand around looking gormless with your tits hanging out" category and the mental giant that is Brand could easily fill 2 hours of dick and fart jokes, I think they'd fit in perfectly, after all, the St Trinians remake broke all box office records didn't it?

it'll probably be a hit.

Mind you they could just adopt the Freinds approach and put canned laughter on Shindlers List. Save any embarrasing attempts at creative writing or acting.

Replace her with an eye-rolling icon!

In other news, what in god's name is this 'Carry On' stuff?

already in a carry on film after the budget....

last one out please turn off the lights.

was only funny back in and before the dark days of XFM before it dissappeared up capitals arse.

It's going to be a load of fuckology

In the new spirit of the British way of doing things (what with people advertising panto without innuendo and all), the new Carry On will not contain any innuendo, swearing, sexually suggestive scenes or any of that other claptrap that made Carry On what it was.

Therefore:

Director: John Woo

...

You're sick of Paris? Yeah but you're a girl...

As to resuscitating the Carry On corpse, I can think of no finer metaphor for the UK idea of cinematic excellence. Why not shoot it in black and white to emphasise how culturally sophisticated we are as a nation? That and add extra fart gags. And some scousers.

Liverpool? City of Culture? Like Baghdad, City of Peace? Like Tehran, City of Homosexual Tolerance?

Im reminded that Frankie Howerd Guested in one once... In memory of that I say

Nay nay ... and thrice Nay!

British cimea needs a big one if it's going to get back on top.

I do hope they have several of those well built girls , with rather snug fitting, low cut blouses, It will remind me of how I enjoyed those films in my youth . Many a long year ago , cough , wheeze .

Paris because she does sometimes wear such things , so I am told.

Bruce

They've all got it in for me !!!